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AIBU?

To think that some parents like to label their children as dyslexic/dyscalculic/dyspraxic or as kinaesthetic learners....

262 replies

MrsSchadenfreude · 10/03/2008 10:25

...rather than accept the fact that their child might not be particularly bright/academic, and by so doing this detracts from children who genuinely are eg dyslexic?

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mrsruffallo · 10/03/2008 10:29

Of course this exists. Most dyslexics are actually very bright but you do get mc mothers od children who are not doing well academically trying to get a diagnosis. It is quite a common occurance

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kiskideesameanoldmother · 10/03/2008 10:31

i just wonder why another parent would dwell on this idea if she is not in a professional capacity to form an opinion on the child.

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branflake81 · 10/03/2008 10:31

At the risk of being flamed, I agree. I understand there will be genuine cases but also think there are a lot of "labels" out there which mask or attempt to excuse a genuine lack of academic ability.

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Upwind · 10/03/2008 10:31

why should a child who is labelled dyslexic/dyscalculic/dyspraxic or a kinaesthetic learner get more support than one who is struggling because thear are not particularly bright?

Because of the way resources are allocated to children with labels, it is only natural for parents of children who need help to try and seek out the dx that best fits their child.

Correct me if I am wrong, but there is no clear cut, objective criteria for a diagnosis of e.g. dyslexia anyway and even if there were there is probably a gradient of severity from a teeny bit affected to very much so. I teach at a university and I would guess about 2/10 kids have a dyslexia diagnosis and associated extra support and funding.

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mrsruffallo · 10/03/2008 10:34

i THINK IT IS BECAUSE IF THEY CAN'T GET THEIR DC IN A GOOD SCHOOL THROUGH ACADEMIC MEANS THEY ENDEAVOUR TO DO SO BY HAVING A STATEMENT OF SPECIAL NEEDS
I suupose it is one of those little quirks of modern parenting that makes it interesting

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stiffit · 10/03/2008 10:34

Mrs Ruffallo I think you are generalising when you say most dyslexics are actually very bright. Dyslexic people can be as bright or as not bright as others, it's just that their dyslexia does not mean they are not bright. Mothers who seek diagnoses of a potential disorder are often puzzled and struggling.. it's a little harsh to see it in a critical way.

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mrsruffallo · 10/03/2008 10:35

Sorry for caps!!

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TheHonEnid · 10/03/2008 10:35

I think it is more that some parents don't like to label their child 'not particularly bright' if there is a chance that there may be a 'physical' reason behind why they are struggling.

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WowOoo · 10/03/2008 10:36

Very interesting! Agree with Upwind. My children are average to middling and often a teeny bit nuts - just like their mum and dad!!

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coppertop · 10/03/2008 10:37

Getting a statement is extremely difficult even with a diagnosis. Even getting a diagnosis is bloody difficult for many - and not because their child has no SN.

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poshwellies · 10/03/2008 10:38

I think you'll find getting a statement is pretty blardy hard,you are talking out your arse btw mrs

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mrsruffallo · 10/03/2008 10:39

I undetrstood that in seeking to diagnose dyslexia a high level of verbal and social intelligence that is not reflected in their academic work is a classic symptom

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MrsSchadenfreude · 10/03/2008 10:40

Kiskidee - curious, I suppose! Having overheard conversation (shouting) by two mothers in the playground, at teacher, telling her that of course their DCs were dyslexic - she and the SENCO didn't know what they were doing. Teacher remained calm and polite (I got the impression that this wasn't the first time they'd had the conversation) but firm.

I've also worked with two people who were very severely dyslexic - I had to check their work before it got sent out, and it was clear that they had a very real problem with words and order of letters, sentence structure etc, and one who claimed to be dyslexic but I would say that she just couldn't spell or punctuate accurately.

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mrsruffallo · 10/03/2008 10:40

Yes, you are right, getting a statement is very difficult

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mrsruffallo · 10/03/2008 10:40

However, you are wring that I am talking out of my arse. That is a physical impossibility

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TheHonEnid · 10/03/2008 10:41

hmmm...ouch...mrss...dyslexia isn't just about misspellings - there are lots of other 'symptoms' and signs

not sure why you are getting so worked up about this tbh

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edam · 10/03/2008 10:41

I don't think you are being very fair, but confess that 'kinaesthetic learner' always sounds like 'not very bright' to me. Which is probably equally unfair.

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TheHonEnid · 10/03/2008 10:41

and teachers do sometimes get it wrong

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coppertop · 10/03/2008 10:44

A SENCO can't diagnose dyslexia, so perhaps the mother was right to challenge her opinion? I don't know any of the people involved obviously but I would be wary of seeing a SENCO as the ultimate authority when it comes to SN.

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stiffit · 10/03/2008 10:44

If that's the case Mrs R then less bright children would often have their dyslexia undiagnosed simply because they weren't bright enough to "prove" it..

Does anyone really know enough about all of this to comment? This is going to be a lot of hot air and possibly upsetting opinion isn't it?

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MrsSchadenfreude · 10/03/2008 10:44

Why am I talking out of my arse, Posh Wellies? Surely there are going to be more children who are not in, say, the top 10% academically than are dyslexic?

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poshwellies · 10/03/2008 10:44

Wouldn't know about dyslexia but my DD has dyspraxia and its not about the intelligence/brightness-its about the difficulties sufferers have with process and co-ordination and how that affects them in the school environment,shes doesn't have a statement-just the "label" of significant learning issues

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snowleopard · 10/03/2008 10:45

Saying this kind of thing always tends to upset people whose DC have genuine conditions, of course. That's understandable. But I do agree too - and not just with these particular labels. Some people just want their DC (or in some cases themselves) to be labelled with a special condition - it makes them feel special. There was a thread about "fake" allergies a while back and while some parents of DC with real allergies were understandably defensive, it also seemed clear from people's descriptions of their MILs and so on that plenty of people do make up allergies that are a load of bollocks. It's a general tendency - we've probably all known someone who makes a big deal out their or their child's special condition when it seems apparent that they're actually normal. And it is bad because I think it makes it harder for anyone who does have a real problem to be taken seriously.

The very fact that people pursue diagnoses (rightly or wrongly) means that people are diagnosing these things themselves, deciding that their child has them and then trying to get doctors to agree. In some cases they'll be right, in others they won't.

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Kindersurpise · 10/03/2008 10:47

What is a kinaesthetic learner? Something to do with movement?

I agree with the statement that we should be offering assistance and support to all children who are struggling in school, not just those with a "label".

Taking off my rose-tinted glasses, I know that this is unlikely to happen. There are just not the resources available.

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MrsSchadenfreude · 10/03/2008 10:47

I'm not getting worked up about it, Enid. I'm just curious.

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