Ashamed to invite certain family members to wedding

Helpamum12 · 2022-03-30 09:03:47

:55Helpamum12 I'm ashamed of my scruffy family members and I'm so worried about being embarrassed at my wedding. I feel so horrible and snobby saying this but I am so scared about inviting most of my family to my wedding because they are very scruffy/poor hygiene and they are very uneducated and just have poor narrow minded views I. E racism etc. They are not bad people at all, they are just a product of their upbringing - I'm talking about my mother's side of the family, so aunties, uncles etc. If they didn't make an effort with me it would be easier but they have always consistently sent cards, presents and have shown they care about me and my children. Which is why it makes me so sad and torn inside to even think about not inviting them. But I've just made such a huge effort to move away from the dysfunctionality of my family and upbringing that I feel ashamed of where I come from and feel like my other half's family will think I am trash because of where I come from. Even my very close family I'm scared of inviting, I. E mum, dad, brother and his children, they do not look after their personal hygiene, hardly ever brush their teeth etc, but they at least are fairly well spoken and as they are closer to me I know I can take them out and pay for haircuts, outfits etc which they will enjoy and won't take offense because they are close enough to me to know that I take pride in appearance and have always been a little "different" to them, I think they understand that I love them deeply but that I also want them to look presentable. So I guess my question is, could I just invite my mum, dad and siblings without inviting my uncles, aunties and cousins? I don't want to hurt their feelings and I do care about them but I also want to enjoy my wedding without worrying about Shame and embarrassment. I think most of you are probably going to tell me I'm a terrible person.

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