Who should provide snacks?

[FinestChicken]

Ex collecting dc for his weekend. The arrangement is we take turns in doing the journey so one time I will take them both ways, the next time he will. He sees them one weekend a month (his choice - he was offered more)

When I do the journey I deliver them to and collect them from his door. When he does I have to drop them to and collect them from the station because he doesn't drive and won't collect them from school or their club. It's annoying but I don't mind because it's easier for the children. Also I will not have him come to or near my house due to past abuse.

He is demanding that I provide them with snacks and drinks for the journey to his house. He thinks this is reasonable because I have the children most of the time so I get the child benefit etc for them. He doesn't work and has to pay for the journey to get them and bring them back. He has apparently asked 3 different people who all think it's reasonable for me to provide food for the journey and not him.

AIBU to think he's a dick?
WIBU to send the dc with no snacks?

I don't want the dc to suffer, but I also want to maintain proper boundaries because ex is a 'give and inch and he'll take a mile' kind of a guy.

[PattyPan]

How long is the journey? Do they even need snacks?

[dementedpixie]

How long is the journey?
How many snacks do they need?
If they would otherwise go without then I'd provide a filled water bottle and small snack/fruit

[MayThePawsBeWithYou]

YABU to send your poor children on any journey without a drink and a snack

[moomee12]

He doesn't work or drive, and only sees his kids once a month? He sounds like a shitbag.

[RedCandyApple]

Why do they need snacks, I would send them with them personally if they want them, it’s no big deal, I give dd snacks for when she goes to my mums 🤷‍♀️

[fairylightsandwaxmelts]

If he thinks they need feeding, he should feed them, surely?

[Fridaysgirl17]

If my kids were going with their dad I always put a few snacks in the bag but I was providing everything at that stage nappies,wipes etc (they don't go anymore), I did it as I knew he'd buy stuff for our son that he wouldn't eat,& the baby only had certain snacks

[WeatherwaxOn]

Does he provide snacks when it is his turn to do the journey by train?

[purplecorkheart]

He sounds like a right charmer doesn't he.
For the kids sake I probably would provide snacks for them (ideally things he would not eat).

[OneSolitaryCornflake]

Whoever is driving provides the snacks id say

[OneSolitaryCornflake]

And if he's that funny over it I'd maybe smuggle some in their bags tbh

[OneSolitaryCornflake]

He should have some with him if he thinks they need them on the train

[hangrylady]

He's whining about buying a couple of snacks for his own kids? What a fucking loser. I'd provide them so the kids don't go short OP but you shouldn't have to.

[caringcarer]

Send them with water bottle and an apple each. Anything else he can and should provide for them.when.tjey are in his care.

[OneSolitaryCornflake]

Whats he going to do if one of them scrapes their knee in his care? Insist you provide them with plasters? Ridiculous man

[SleepingStandingUp]

Are we talking Friday from school or Saturday? What would they have eaten prior to the travel?

[Tillsforthrills]

What’s more important? Who’s right or wrong or making the journeys pleasant for your children?

[Tillsforthrills]

However I think he’s a truly awful father and wouldn’t even like to send my kids to see him.

[Sofiegiraffe]

@Tillsforthrills

What’s more important? Who’s right or wrong or making the journeys pleasant for your children?

This. I'd send them with snacks regardless (whilst quietly cursing their dad for being useless), purely because I couldn't relax knowing my kids might be hungry or thirsty on a journey.

[Clymene]

I'd send them with snacks and tell them their dad is too cheap to feed them

[Mundra]

@MayThePawsBeWithYou

YABU to send your poor children on any journey without a drink and a snack

Don't be daft, it might be two train stops.

[timeforteaforyouandme]

Ok I get the principle here but reality check this is about drinks and snacks for the train journey six times a year....?

[Pontypandytaxpayer]

He should and I wouldn't pay any attention to what he says other people think. Of course he'll say people agree with him.

How old are the kids and how long is the journey?

[SliceOfCakeCupOfTea]

Entirely depends on how long the journey is.

Honestly there are some parents around mine who collect their kids from school with almost a full packed lunch for the kids to have on the less than 5 minutes walk home.

I don't think kids need to be snacking all day, but I would always send a full water bottle though.

So if the journey is only a 15 minute train ride or something, they don't need a snack.

[WhatIsThisPlease]

Just send them with the snacks. It's the right thing to do for your children. What your ex thinks is irrelevant

And don't say what @Clymene said. You shouldn't badmouth their Dad to them. It will make them feel uncomfortable and awkward.