AITA

[CoffeeChicken]

I feel so so so bad for my 14 week old. He was screaming at the very top of his lungs (9pm) and I went downstairs to DP sitting on the chair. Child had done a huge blowout and was just sitting in it. Changed him, he calmed down, until I handed him back and then he started screaming again.

I feel like such a bad mum but DP does the nights and I worry if I keep coming to the rescue our child will never settle and DP will never learn how to settle. I am so exhausted. Everything I've read is so conflicting, obviously I hate hearing our little one so upset but also it just isn't feasible for me to constantly intervene and interrupt. AITA for leaving little one? I do feel like it 😔

[ShamalaHamala]

What was your partner doing, just sitting there ignoring the child? Surely you asked him why he wasn't doing anything?

[ChangeChingyChange]

Wtf?! Why was your partner ignoring your screaming child?! You need serious words or ask him to leave.

[CoffeeChicken]

To be fair, he was trying to console our child. He has no sense of smell and said he couldn't smell the blowout.

[MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry]

Sorry, your baby was crying and needed changing and your partner was doing nothing? Why did you change him and not just say “err, DP change him!”

[MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry]

@CoffeeChicken

To be fair, he was trying to console our child. He has no sense of smell and said he couldn't smell the blowout.

He didn’t think to check the nappy?

[Unanananana]

He should have checked his nappy surely? No sense of smell is no excuse. Thats basic parenting.

[NewPapaGuinea]

After 14 weeks he should know to run though the basic checks on why a baby is crying 🤔

[KeepYaHeadUp]

Google "weaponised incompetence", OP.

It's not the case that women know this stuff and men need time to figure it out. We just HAVE to figure it out because if we don't, who does?! Let him figure it out for himself, stop coming to his rescue.

[AnotherMansCause]

Even if he has no sense of smell there are other ways to check for a soiled or wet nappy? Does he not know that?

[thisplaceisweird]

When you have children with someone you should expect that both of you will be capable of looking after them individually.

If DH is incompetent he needs to read books or go to classes. It's not ok for you to be on call 24/7 even though your husband is around.

[Waspsarearseholes]

Did you mean to write this for Reddit?

[ChangeChingyChange]

@CoffeeChicken

To be fair, he was trying to console our child. He has no sense of smell and said he couldn't smell the blowout.

But you said he was just sitting in the chair if he knows he has no sense of smell he still needs to check the usual baby issues - are they dirty? Tired? Hungry? Want a comfort I.e a dummy? It's basic.

[Shoxfordian]

He sounds totally useless

[SD1978]

It's pretty basic to check a nappy if a baby is crying. Are they hungry? No. Have they had a crap? Yes. Change and problem solved. It's a process of elimination at that stage- they are usually either hungry, dirty or tired. It's not tough to work out which it is.

[CloudyStorms]

Oh come on. If baby is crying he needs to go through a list in his head. Is it hunger, poo, wet nappy, tired, bored, need a hug? Not just sit there and wait for you to swoop in and save the day.

[CloudyStorms]

He needs to sort himself out, anything could happen that means he has to look after the baby for a bit by himself.

[Bloodypunkrockers]

What does AITA mean?


Your DP is BU for not checking the nappy

[WorraLiberty]

@Bloodypunkrockers

What does AITA mean?

Your DP is BU for not checking the nappy

Just had to Google it

Apparently it means 'Am I The Asshole'

[fabricfanatic]

Time to stop making excuses for your useless partner. That's where you're falling short.

Checking the nappy is one of the first things you do when a baby cries. It's not rocket science. Your partner is either lazy or not very intelligent. My guess is he's lazy.

[CiaoForDiNiaoSaur]

Yabu for using aita when it's aibu here

Yanbu to expect your DP to check the baby's nappy. It's pretty basic!

[CentrifugalBumblePuppy]

My DH has absolutely no sense of smell.

It didn’t stop him from using a bit of common sense & checking our daughter’s nappy (especially if there was a blow out, that toxic Velcro soaks through everything).

Blimey, even my son’s dad who missed big chunks of my son’s first few months due to being on tour had the nouse to check his nappy if he was crying up a storm. And he was pretty much ruddy useless at everything else.

Your partner is a pillock (and believe me, my son’s dad was King of the Pillocks).

[CentrifugalBumblePuppy]

That’s on tour as an actor, not in the Forces. He may have actually acted (no pun intended) a little less up his own bum hole if he’d done a tour or two in the Forces.