Shouting at me to put her down

[Sleeplikelog]

My 3.5 year old today.

Walking around the shops and she was grabbing things, going to the sweets etc, wouldn’t hold my hand, so I picked her up.
She proceeded to hit me and tell me go get off her and put her down. Ten people behind us in the queue watching.
Is this normal?!
How would you react to this, anyone been in a similar situation? is this just kids or what 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Sleeplikelog]

Also shouting ‘Let go of me!’

[Rovinonmars]

Totally just kids. I'm amazed you've got to 3.5 without this happening before!

[Mum0509]

I didn't take mine shopping at that age. It became impossible. Yes, totally normal.

[gamerchick]

Yeah they're buggers at that age on occasion. Buggys or reins are handy.

[Sleeplikelog]

@gamerchick She’s getting to that age where she’s rarely in the buggy, I so miss it! Walking around with her is a nightmare

[Iveputmyselfonthenaughtystep]

Hahaha ha. Bless you. Totally normal.
Next time take snacks and pray!

[FelicityBob]

Frequently and it’s awful and embarrassing. I feel your pain

[2beautifulbabs]

Normal my 2 almost 3 year old DD does this and tells me No go away let me go etc 🤦🏻‍♀️

[Sleeplikelog]

Thank god 🙈🤣god, she’s such a strong character though! Was I right to be angry with her when we got in the car?

[Chamomileteaplease]

Was she fed up with the shopping? Can you shop without her?

[Sleeplikelog]

I felt like a really crap parent who couldn’t control their child 😫

[DeepaBeesKit]

Put her down (assuming it's a safe place to do so) and say firmly "oh i'll just go without you then. Bye" walk a few paces away... watch them jump up and go "no mummy I'm sorry I'm coming!"

[AnotherOneWithNoGoodName]

Normal! It will get better as she gets older. Every parent has been there.

[AnotherOneWithNoGoodName]

Is she able to "help" you shopping to distract her? eg "Lets see who can find where the bread is first", or use the scan and go scanner?

[Sleeplikelog]

@Chamomileteaplease No, it was a craft and toy type shop so she was just too interested, which was fine but got silly and had no patience when we were queuing to pay. That’s the panicky time when I silently pray for them to please hurry the f up at the counter as I know how it can go

[DeepaBeesKit]

But also "walking around the shops" are you talking about a leisure activity browsing several shops, many of which sell nothing your 3.5 year old likes?

You can't really expect a child that age to put up with more than about 45 minutes "shopping" and even that's in a supermarket with a trolley seat and being allowed to do the scanner.

[ToykotoLosAngeles]

No, mine does that. I normally just scoop mine up and march him out (unless in the queue, in which case I hang onto him for dear life with a neutral facial expression!)

[whatsmyusername]

If this is an issue I'd concider taking the pushchair, they probably won't go in it but it's useful for carrying the shopping, so frees up your hands and great for time out along with a quick exit! They soon learn and you can stop using it again.

[Rose789]

Totally normal and an absolute pain in the arse.
My oldest did that to dh when she was about 2.5. Including screaming put me down I want my mummy. Security guards were called

[MrsTophamHat]

The bit between small enough to go in the trolley and old enough to understand social norms is annoying.

I don't often take my 4yo shopping and when I do, it's a specific activity like going in, choosing a specific item he is interested in and leaving to try and build him up. I would never take him for a full food shop unless i absolutely had to.

[KeepYaHeadUp]

I was just thinking that I never remember my now 6 year old doing this, then has a flashback to our holiday in France when he was 3 and we said no to a toy in the local shop and my husband had to carry him home under one arm with him kicking and screaming and crying. Then a load of other similar memories came flooding back. I've got a 5 week old ans suddenly realised I'll have to do it all again soon

[Cocomarine]

Amazed you’ve got to 3.5 and still need to ask if that’s normal
Have you heard the word “threenager”?
All very very normal, you have my sympathy though!
It helps to engage them with tasks at the checkout, and then chat - if there’s a sweets display, you can play, “first one to find a green packet / packet with an animal on / etc”.

It’s also perfectly acceptable to hand your phone over to them to get them to STFU

[YetAnotherManicMonday1234]

I do not miss that phase.

I used to have to tuck on under the arm and wheel the other in the trolley and leave. Eventually they get the message.

[esloquehay]

It's an age appropriate response to an experience that can be overwhelming/overstimulating for preschoolers.
It can feel really stressful when it's happening, exacerbated by people looking/glancing/staring. I have really bad anxiety, so rarely take my similarly strong-willed nearly 4 years shopping, as twin 2 especially finds it too much and her big feelings manifest as acting out.
Getting angry with her in the car after the event isn't helpful or fair, but it's totally understandable, as sometimes we just hold our own reactions in 'til we get to OUR safe spaces (car/home etc).
Sounds like you did your absolute best, so cut yourself some slack.

[Missrabbitt]

Just kids! Mine is 3.5 and is ok in shops most of the time but god forbid I try to remove her from a soft play. Full on screaming and tears.