To be completely and utterly drained from all this uncertainty?

(152 Posts)
Borisjohnsonshairbrush Mon 06-Dec-21 13:26:15

Supposed to be abroad from the 18th Dec to 5th Jan in the far East but I'm dreading it. 4 pcrs each to do. Travel rules constantly changing. My anxiety is through the roof

I'm going to do an Xmas food shop on the 17th I'm case it all goes tits up. I hate all this not knowing I genuinely don't think I can take another year.

I know we should "suck it up" but never having anything to even focus on or look forward to is just utter and pure misery. Life is for living and I'm sick to death of constant bad news about covid etc

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IsThePopeCatholic Mon 06-Dec-21 13:36:45

I know what you mean, op, but ‘first world problems’ is what jumps out from your post.

MelonTits Mon 06-Dec-21 13:39:52

YABU to do a food shop unless you’re planning on donating it all somewhere on the 18th. Massive waste of food and money.

I don’t know your circumstances for travelling but it does seem like anyone booking travel should be prepared for it to be difficult, expensive and complicated for the significant future?

Borisjohnsonshairbrush Mon 06-Dec-21 13:42:59

No I think it's because I've been stuck inside with a broken leg all summer and we are visiting family who I haven't seen for 2 years.

The food will be frozen so have before or if, we manage to go, have when we get back.

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whereismyhappyplace Mon 06-Dec-21 13:47:06

I'm with you OP, I was supposed to be travelling abroad this week for the first time in 2 years, only just booked flights and now all these changes involving pcr's, I've decided not to bother going. It's just all too uncertain and I don't want to risk getting stuck abroad if I test positive and can't get on a flight home. Really fed up.

Borisjohnsonshairbrush Mon 06-Dec-21 13:51:24

Yep, desperately missing the family too. It's making me so on edge.

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Whitefire Mon 06-Dec-21 13:51:51

Yes the uncertainty about things is awful, it is part of the reason I suggested that we cancel our family Christmas. I'd rather be disappointed now and deal with it, then be looking forward to it and then it be cancelled as that would be even more upsetting.


Pippa12 Mon 06-Dec-21 13:53:53

Desperately want to see my dad who is abroad and can’t travel to us.

But I accept travelling in a pandemic is both costly and unpredictable… suck it up unfortunately or don’t book.

Porcupineintherough Mon 06-Dec-21 13:57:07

Your life is pure, unrelenting misery with nothing to look forward to? Sorry for you.

ajandjjmum Mon 06-Dec-21 14:19:02


Your life is pure, unrelenting misery with nothing to look forward to? Sorry for you.

I'm sure the OP has positive things in her life, but sometimes the situation really gets to you. In your head you know plans may change and that any travel is a risk at present - you might even agree with steps that are taken - but that doesn't eliminate the heartache you feel at the uncertainty.

OP - after jumping through different hoops, DS has arrived home for the first time in two years. It was worth the wait!

Hemingwayscatz Mon 06-Dec-21 14:22:19

YANBU. It really fucks with my mental health. I was slowly on the road to recovery after the lockdowns totally destroyed me thanks to weekly counselling sessions but since the news of omicron hit and masks returned I’ve been on a downward spiral. Doesn’t help I have covid right now and 3 of my DC do too so I haven’t been sleeping and I’m a total wreck. I’m terrified they’ll announce another lockdown, I think I will kill myself if they close schools again.

Borisjohnsonshairbrush Mon 06-Dec-21 14:25:02

@ajandjjmum that is amazing news! So pleased for you. Xx

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WheelieBinPrincess Mon 06-Dec-21 14:25:59

Yeah let’s never be disappointed or frustrated about missing out on anything nice or fun or exciting because (all together now)


honestly the competitive virtue signalling about ‘sucking it up’ is pathetic. Life is short.

Borisjohnsonshairbrush Mon 06-Dec-21 14:28:07

@Hemingwayscatz fingers crossed there are no more lockdowns. There can't be, the economy is already on it's arse.

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GrumpyTerrier Mon 06-Dec-21 14:30:54

Absolutely agree. I have been away from my loved ones since March 2020 and EVERYTIME I think there is light at the end of the tunnel, something happens and I can't get back to them. Visas came back but not evisas and due to backlog there were no embassy appointments, then I got an appointment but caught covid, then I had to wait 3 months to be able to get a negative PCR....

I've missed weddings, birthdays, birth of kids, funerals. Life. Their lives. My life.

I now have a visa appointment in Jan. Was allowing myself slight hope. Then omicron came. I actually don't feel I can cope if I have to wait another 6 months. Everything seems very dark and hopeless right now.

Silverswirl Mon 06-Dec-21 14:35:06

God some people on here are nauseating.
No it’s not a ‘first world problem’
How patronising can you get.
It’s bloody horrible to have so much uncertainty. Of course other people are in far worse positions but that doesn’t mean that no one can feel sad about this situation!
It’s very stressful having the thought of not seeing elderly relations at Christmas or not being able to visit family abroad- who haven’t met their grandchildren for example.
If the schools lockdown that’s everything cancelled for kids. As an adult I have had many years of stuff going on but my kids were 7 when this started and in spring they will be 10. That’s a big chunk of childhood. By the time we come out of this they won’t be ‘kids’
Such a shame

Serenschintte Mon 06-Dec-21 14:35:35

@Borisjohnsonshairbrush it’s so good to see someone else saying this. We live in Switzerland- all other family in Uk. For a family of 4 (teens) with the pcr tests on both sides it’s over £500 just on tests.
The uncertainty is a difficult
I hate this controlled way we are living.
I know I have good things in my life but I can’t bear this. It’s doesn’t seem to make that much difference to case numbers in any case.
So I get it I really do. I hope you get to see my family.
My kids saw their gp for the first time in 2 years in October. Ppl might say oh move back to the uk but Ds 1 has nearly finished school. It’s a crucial time for him. And get a job in what? DHs job is very specialized.
Anyway good to know I’m not alone

Borisjohnsonshairbrush Mon 06-Dec-21 14:37:39

@GrumpyTerrier I'm so sorry.
It's just awful. I work with a lady who hasn't seen her daughter for two years as she can't get to her etc.

Working every hour god sends is fine if you have some thing nice to look forward to whether it's seeing family and friends for dinner or a weekend away etc but if you are on this constant hamster wheel of all work no play then it's fucking horrible, life does feel worthless. "first world problem" yep. It is.

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sunshinelover69 Mon 06-Dec-21 14:41:16

I'm with you OP and the travel restrictions seem disproportionate. Just when people were starting to relax and book holidays (and give a well needed boost to the travel industry) the government land this on us. Lots of people here will tell you that you're selfish yada yada yada but why shouldn't we want to travel? Good luck and I hope you get there.

HelplesslyHoping Mon 06-Dec-21 14:42:32

Just don't go. Then you have no death or illness guilt or worries

zoemum2006 Mon 06-Dec-21 14:43:20

As human beings we crave certainty over almost everything. People have put up with terrible regimes because certainty is more acceptable than chaos.

So YANBU.. this combined with not being able to see family and friends (probably our strongest desire as people) means the pandemic takes a huge tolls on all of us.

grapewine Mon 06-Dec-21 14:44:58


Your life is pure, unrelenting misery with nothing to look forward to? Sorry for you.

Do you feel better now?

Borisjohnsonshairbrush Mon 06-Dec-21 14:46:13

@zoemum2006 yep, I am a planner. I need regime, goals and targets to keep me on the narrow. I need a focus and living day by day is difficult for me as I suffer from depression and anxiety. It keeps me in check xx

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percythewitch Mon 06-Dec-21 14:48:45

I get you OP.

We are planning to go to the UK (from France) and spend Christmas with our children and grandchildren, some of whom will be travelling from a different EU country.

What should be a lovely time planning and getting excited has been shat on by all the extra rules (and costs!). If we could make our plans based on the rules as they are at this exact moment then it is all still do-able for us, but as we have seen over the last 10 days, the rules can change very suddenly without any warning.

Even if we comply with absolutely everything and pay for the numerous tests now, there is still the possibility that ferrries will be cancelled due to lack of bookings or that we will have to isolate for the entire time we are there which would make it all pretty pointless.

Sending hugs to everyone who is trying to navigate through all this uncertainty. Any "light at the end of the tunnel" at the moment is almost certain to be a bloody great express train squishing everything in its path.

Yes, we do have to "suck it up" but that doesn't mean that it isn't upsetting. I consider myself to be a fairly robust and optimistic person (most of the time) but it is certainly a struggle at the moment and I can't begin to imagine how bleak it must be for anyone already dealing with other issues.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing Mon 06-Dec-21 14:49:25

Yanbu OP

Uncertainty affects some people more than others

Some people can just “make hay while the sun shines”, do things last minute when it’s allowed, and accept “well we’re in for the moment” when a lockdown etc comes

Some people really need something to focus on and look forward to as a near certainty for their mental health. Doesn’t make you spoilt or a bad person to need this!

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