Aibu to think this is rude

(259 Posts)
OnlyFoolsnMothers Sun 05-Dec-21 10:21:28

Went to a friends birthday last night and bought her a bracelet - not that it should matter but for context it cost me £70, which for me is a lot, I have 2 kids, work reduced hours and it’s Christmas time (it was a milestone bday).
Anyway today I wake up to a message asking me if she could exchange it as she’s prefer something else. I want to know if this is rude or the done thing nowadays? To me I think it is rude- I was brought up to never expect a gift but to be grateful if you get one. There’s also a gift receipt in the bag, she doesn’t actually need to tell me “hey I don’t like the gift”. Anyway she’s sent me a link for an item she prefers -£150- she says in the message “if” the bracelet was more she’ll find something else. So not only am I offended she’s now making me look cheap.

OP’s posts: |
ArblemarchTFruitbat Sun 05-Dec-21 10:23:03

YANBU - she had the gift receipt, no need to involve you at all.

Kamelion Sun 05-Dec-21 10:23:43

Yes, it’s rude, especially if the gift receipt was included. I personally wouldn’t return a gift.

growinggreyer Sun 05-Dec-21 10:24:01

Wow, that is rude. Does she really think you will send her more money? I would be fuming! Is this a family member, because that is a lot of money to spend on someone who is not a partner or child.

Campervan69 Sun 05-Dec-21 10:24:21

Very unnecessary and offensive 🙄 spoilt and entitled. How will you respond?

Bluntness100 Sun 05-Dec-21 10:24:23

Tough one, on one side in practical terms of course it’s better to be honest and exchange and it’s better to ask, as otherwise you’d wonder why she wasn’t wearing it.

On the flip side I can see why you’re a little put out

I’d respond and say no worries, gift receipt is in the bag, jist go ahead and exchange.

Tal45 Sun 05-Dec-21 10:26:16

If the bracelet was more than £150??!! Who spends that amount on a friend?? I don't spend that much on own child's birthday! I'd just reply 'Hi, There's a gift receipt in the bag' and leave it to that. Is she normally a better friend than this?


Haus1234 Sun 05-Dec-21 10:27:31

I don’t think it’s rude to exchange for something you’d prefer but her phrasing was rude. You are a generous friend!

monkeysox Sun 05-Dec-21 10:29:21

If she has the receipt why didn't she just go and swap it.

LadyCatStark Sun 05-Dec-21 10:30:58

That’s so incredibly rude! I’d just send a Curt response saying that the gift receipt is in the bag if she wants to exchange it.

Bluntness100 Sun 05-Dec-21 10:31:19


If she has the receipt why didn't she just go and swap it.

Probably becayse the op might wonder why she never wore it.

CloudyStorms Sun 05-Dec-21 10:31:43

I'm starting to think people have lost sight of how much money is actually worth these days. Count it in how many hours you worked to earn it if it helps. £70 is more than enough to spend on anyone for their birthday.

Jacaranda75 Sun 05-Dec-21 10:32:23

That is rude and so hurtful sad. I would say, “if you don’t like it, give it back.”

Cheerbear24 Sun 05-Dec-21 10:34:08

Yes it’s rude, just respond ‘gift receipt is in the bag’. She’ll find out what it cost when she tries to swap it.

Cam2020 Sun 05-Dec-21 10:34:13

That'd be the last gift the CF got from me!

Mammma91 Sun 05-Dec-21 10:34:18

That is rude! I’d be mortified to ask someone if i could exchange a gift (unless it was an item of clothing for my son and it was too small, I’d exchange for a bigger size of same item). YANBU OP, the gift receipt was included and if she really took a dislike to it, she can pay up the difference for the one she does like. Although even then, I think I’d still be unhappy.

Sally872 Sun 05-Dec-21 10:34:27

So rude. Gift receipt is there and she could easily check price of bracelet. She knows the other one is more expensive even if she didn't still extremely rude.

I would be happy for friend to discretely exchange bracelet, but telling you and asking for something so expensive is awful.

shiningstar2 Sun 05-Dec-21 10:35:19

I wouldn't notice such a message for several days then I would send a short cool reply saying that the gift receipt is in the bag so do change the gift if that's what you would prefer to do.
I wouldn't engage over the cost of the gift at all. She is being astonishingly rude and ungrateful. 💐

thegcatsmother Sun 05-Dec-21 10:36:01

Your 'friend' is being very rude OP. I don't think I have ever exchanged anything someone has bought me as a gift.

CloudyStorms Sun 05-Dec-21 10:37:08

Oh and she did the right thing asking if it was OK to swap but all the stuff about how much it cost etc was rude

rrhuth Sun 05-Dec-21 10:37:54

Agree just say 'the gift receipt is in the bag' - they are being unnecessarily rude.

Aprilx Sun 05-Dec-21 10:38:39

I don’t really believe in swapping gifts at all, I think that is rude. I know some people think it is ok, but even if I thought it was ok to exchange gifts she has gone about it in a very rude way. It feels like she is hinting you should make up the difference even, otherwise why did she need to link to the replacement with that comment.

MrsFoxyplease Sun 05-Dec-21 10:39:03

" Your gift was £70. The gift receipt is in the bag. If you're not willing to use your own money and there is nothing £70 that you like then please return bracelet to me and I will get my money back as I'm sure you can appreciate it's an expensive time of year especially with two children plus working reduced hours".

ComtesseDeSpair Sun 05-Dec-21 10:39:18

If I’d spent £70 on somebody then I’d prefer them to be honest that it wasn’t really their style and ask if they could exchange it rather than pretend and then it just live in their drawer forever.

And she’d just gone ahead and exchanged without telling you, you’d wonder every time you saw her why she was wearing another bracelet and never the one you gave her.

Aprilx Sun 05-Dec-21 10:39:20


That'd be the last gift the CF got from me!

Yep me too.

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