Fallen out with daughter’s ex-friend’s mother. Need a wider opinion.

(284 Posts)
Foodie321 Fri 03-Dec-21 08:02:00

My 14 year old daughter was friends with a girl from primary school until they fell out earlier this year. I’m relieved as she was of the same age and getting drunk, engaging in risky sexual behaviour ruling her parents whilst trying to do the same with my daughter. The friend had given my daughter a coat last year that not longer fit her or even that she wanted so my daughter accepted. Now over 6 months later the family want the coat back. Personally I don’t have a problem with handing the coat back but we had paid £100 pounds for a concert ticket that they refused to hand over to us and instead took another friend. I have therefore asked for the £100 in return for the coat. The mother is refusing by saying that they took my daughter on holiday and that they will keep the £100 as a contribution. They had asked if my daughter could go on holiday to Wales for a week with them so we reluctantly accepted knowing that it wasn’t anywhere like Aya Napa! Friend’s mother mentioned they would do water sports so I placed £100 in an envelope as a contribution towards water sports, however they did not accept the money at the time and told my daughter to keep the money. No water sports were done and the week’s holiday was cut short by 3 days due to the friend’s demands to come home. I’m now a full-time student at university, they are not short of a bob or two but I appreciate that it isn’t the point. I’m just upset that they think they can rob me know months later and decide what money goes to whom as it suits them. It feels like they are taking revenge on us for ending the friendship. Should I forget about the money and just return the coat???

OP’s posts: |
Foodie321 Fri 03-Dec-21 08:03:27

I just want to add that she is now threatening me with court action.

OP’s posts: |
StillIncredulous Fri 03-Dec-21 08:04:19

And be free of them, without giving them anything to moan about.
Live your life well.

SavageBeauty73 Fri 03-Dec-21 08:04:49

Just give the coat back and block them.

KarlUrbansWife Fri 03-Dec-21 08:04:56

Yes, cut all ties with them and be thankful you no longer have to put up with their drama. Sounds exhausting.
It's best if you and your daughter move on.

Quincythequince Fri 03-Dec-21 08:06:03

You won’t get the money back, that’s long gone. Unfortunately it has cost you £100 to find out that these people are not to be trusted.
You could keep the coat in principle but, do you really want to!
Just hand it back and make clear that they are never to contact you or your daughter again.

CrumbsThatsQuick Fri 03-Dec-21 08:06:09

much as I would love this to go to court (doesn't sound like they have a case, based on what you have said), its not worth the hassle, stress, brain space. give the coat back. keep your moral highest ground. move on.


Neolara Fri 03-Dec-21 08:06:17

Just return the coat then the issue is over and you can get on with your life without the hassle.

BarbaraWoodlouse Fri 03-Dec-21 08:06:30

They are behaving really badly with regards to the concert ticket but I’d let it go. Had they given you one ticket would you realistically have been able to use it? Seated with the ex friend? Able to afford a second ticket.

Give the coat back, teach your daughter a good example of rising above pettiness and spite.

Kbyodjs Fri 03-Dec-21 08:06:44

I get why you don’t want to and on principle you shouldn’t have to but I think I would just to avoid the drama and be rid of her

JamesWilbysAbs Fri 03-Dec-21 08:06:50

Give the coat back and then be done with them. Byeeeeeeeeeeee.

RepentBirthingPersonFucker Fri 03-Dec-21 08:06:54

Yanbu but I would give the coat back and be free of the drama

DreamerSeven Fri 03-Dec-21 08:06:57

I’d hand it back with an unfortunate rip somewhere obvious grin

Cao77 Fri 03-Dec-21 08:07:00

Take the moral high ground OP, return the coat. As much as it is galling to do so, It's just not worth the shitstorm!

ThePlantsitter Fri 03-Dec-21 08:07:14

Unless your daughter needs the coat just give it back. You need to cut your losses on this one. It is going to cost you more in energy to wrangle over the money than the benefit in getting it back unless it's the difference between eating and not.

CheezerGoode Fri 03-Dec-21 08:07:45

She sounds nasty. Not a legal person but what action could she possibly take? Did they not gift the coat?

Also maybe sell it and pocket the money?

ButYouGottaHaveASkillJeff Fri 03-Dec-21 08:07:46

Court action over a coat?

I'd block them, keep the coat as it was a gift and tell them good luck with the court action.

LUCCCY Fri 03-Dec-21 08:09:26

I don't think it's so much about the coat. I think they just want to cause as much inconvenience as they possibly can. I would have been inclined to say don't return it but I agree with PP's. Return it and don't give them the satisfaction of keeping this going. Also, how could they possibly take this to court? Morons.

Kendoddsdadsdogsdadsdead Fri 03-Dec-21 08:09:29

Just give the coat back. Cut ties and cut this melodrama out of your life. It's so unnecessary.

NugsNotDrugs Fri 03-Dec-21 08:09:38

I agree with pp that it’s better to give it back and be done with them.
You were never going to get the £100 back.

underneaththeash Fri 03-Dec-21 08:10:06

I wouldn't return the coat. Ignore her and sell the coat on vinted.

flashpaper Fri 03-Dec-21 08:10:27


Court action over a coat?

I'd block them, keep the coat as it was a gift and tell them good luck with the court action.

I would do this.
Is it the coat that they're actually trying to take you to court over?? What court is going to hear that? I don't even think Judge Judy would take on that nonsense!

SolasAnla Fri 03-Dec-21 08:10:41

She won't give you the money back. She would have given you the money back around the time of the concert If she ever had any intent of doing it.

Just have your daughter give the coat back, it shuts down potential conflicts and cuts ties.

Mouk Fri 03-Dec-21 08:12:12

I'd leave the coat on their doorstep and then block all forms of communication. You will be rid of them then.

Lime37 Fri 03-Dec-21 08:13:28

Tbh they should remburse you for the money. I’d be teaching my daughter the joy of donate if to those less fortunate and giving the coat to the charity shop

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