To think the school policy is outrageous?

[wonderstuff]

Ds came home yesterday and told me he’d spent the day in isolation because he had forgotten his planner twice. Turns out he’d lost it. The planner is used to record times the kids have forgotten equipment or infringed uniform expectations.

Sent email to school as surely this was wrong, had my son intact sworn or been disruptive? School replied that it is indeed policy to isolate for a day for forgetting a planner twice.

I’m raging. All the missed schooling and they’re happy to exclude a child from more schooling for forgetting something. He’s very forgetful, I have adhd and suspect he has too, he’s not trying to be difficult or subvert the system. He’s in year 7.

I’ve been a teacher 20 years and never know isolation to be used for such a minor infringement. The same punishment for fighting and forgetting a book seems mad?

I’m not sure what to do, this is our local school, we live rurally so not many alternatives. I work at a great, inclusive school and could put him on the waiting list there but it’s 40 minutes away.

The school he’s had recently set for core subjects and he’s in bottom sets as well I’m worried this school is going to break him.

[ArblemarchTFruitbat]

Definitely seems rather harsh - I don't really know how schools work nowadays, but surely there is a requirement for reasonable adjustments for disabled pupils (as there would be in the workplace). Could you meet with them to agree what expectations should be adjusted to cater for your son's ADHD?

[DelphiniumBlue]

I suppose the issue is that he's not treating having and using a planner seriously. A period in isolation might ram the importance of it home, or at least that's the theory.
However, I don't think that approach will work with children with ADHD. But maybe they don't know that's an issue?
With hindsight, I think DS3 has ADHD. He is quite academic and so I think that masked it, as he wasn't under- achieveing, well ,not till A level. I knew there was a problem with personal organisation, and asked for the school's help, but nothing was forthcoming, and I think in the absence of a diagnosis not much support will be offered. In my son's case, repeated punishments ( detentions, being on report etc) made no difference at all to his ability to organise himself properly, and that is despite me helping him to make lists and reminders. It has become more and more marked now he is an adult and is expected to be able to do basic self-management.
If you can get a diagnosis it will help you access formal help for him sooner rather than later. You can approach the school SENDCO about this, and also your GP.

[wonderstuff]

Don’t have a diagnosis for him and waiting list for assessment is at least 3 years here. I am planning on trying to arrange a meeting to explain his difficulties, I do think it could be disability discrimination. School are aware that we suspect adhd.

[halesie]

Hi OP, agree with you and PPs, he needs a reasonable adjustment to be made and it's a very simple one they can make without any trouble so no good reason not to.

[rainyskylight]

Surely detention would have been better than deliberately withholding education

[cansu]

To me it seems excessive but I assume you knew the behaviour policy when you signed him up? I don't think you can moan about it now.

Many secondary schools have very strict systems now.

[twelly]

I think regardless of any diagnosis such action by the school is disproportionate - very poor of the school

[cansu]

Suspecting adhd and actually having already requested an assessment are two different things.
You can't accuse them of discrimination if you have not seen the GP and been referred for an assessment. School cannot go on parents' suspicions.

[ArblemarchTFruitbat]

@wonderstuff

Don’t have a diagnosis for him and waiting list for assessment is at least 3 years here. I am planning on trying to arrange a meeting to explain his difficulties, I do think it could be disability discrimination. School are aware that we suspect adhd.

Again, my only frame of reference is the workplace, but it shouldn't be a requirement to have a diagnosis or 'evidence' to request a reasonable adjustment. That's why it's called a 'reasonable' adjustment - not asking for the earth, but (say, in this case) instead of the punishment happening the second time he forgets the planner, it's set at the 5th time.

[wonderstuff]

@cansu

To me it seems excessive but I assume you knew the behaviour policy when you signed him up? I don't think you can moan about it now.

Many secondary schools have very strict systems now.

I knew they were strict but not about isolation policy. I did worry he’d struggle with policy on streaming and strict uniform, but this is our local school, I want my kids educated in our community, my expectation is that state schools should be inclusive. I am tempted to try to move him to my school which is much more inclusive, not as strict on uniform doesn’t stream and gets much better progress results. However it’s a 40 minute drive, he won’t want to be away from his friends and it’s oversubscribed so waiting list may be long.

[wonderstuff]

@cansu

Suspecting adhd and actually having already requested an assessment are two different things.
You can't accuse them of discrimination if you have not seen the GP and been referred for an assessment. School cannot go on parents' suspicions.

I have requested assessment but waiting list is very long. Not likely to happen for many years.

[blueberryporridge]

I'm in Scotland and don't know English set-up but here a child struggling would have a child's plan drawn up to meet their needs regardless of an official diagnosis. Getting the adjustments implemented is the next hurdle.

More generally, this sanction is complete overkill for any child, in my opinion. No wonder there are increasing mental health problems in children and young people.

[Doona]

Isolation for a DAY? I mean, what? Are they dealing with a bunch of criminals?

[Amazingblossoms]

I told my autistic son's school that punishing him for being disorganised was like punishing a dyslexic child for poor spelling.

Pointless and cruel and bad teaching.

[wonderstuff]

@Doona

Isolation for a DAY? I mean, what? Are they dealing with a bunch of criminals?

Really irritates me that they do have issues with behaviour in lessons but seem far more focused on uniform and equipment.

[Redburnett]

Move him to your school if you can, and if you expect to work there for next 4/5 years.

[Doona]

@cansu

Suspecting adhd and actually having already requested an assessment are two different things.
You can't accuse them of discrimination if you have not seen the GP and been referred for an assessment. School cannot go on parents' suspicions.

Why can't they? Serious question.

[Fullyhuman]

I would move him. I think you’re right about the streaming being extremely bad for him. Children deserve an inclusive and effective education in their local communities, but many don’t get that.

[Yika]

I find that totally appalling. What on earth is happening in schools, they seem to have become so draconian.

[Fullyhuman]

It’s a good question

[itsgettingwierd]

What do they do for an actual serious misdemeanour?

Kids loose stuff. Punishment is meant to be teaching. Much better to give him a job around school to earn a new one.

I'd suggest drawing up a small list of things to check each lesson, laminate and put in blazer pocket.

[Peppercorn9]

To me it seems excessive but I assume you knew the behaviour policy when you signed him up? I don't think you can moan about it now.

Of course parents can - and should - question rules/policies that are damaging, ableist and downright batshit. Especially in the state system, which our taxes pay for.

YANBU at all OP. I hope your DS is OK. As the mum of autistic DC I’d be complaining and referring to their SEND policy.

[HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend]

Is he on the waiting list for an appointment/been seen by a GP while awaiting an appointment?

As long as he’s awaiting assessment the can have a care plan on place, as a teacher I’m concerned your not aware of this?

[Franklyfrost]

I wouldn’t want my son taught by anyone who enforced such that policy. It might be down on paper that a student forgets their planner twice and are put in isolation but what sort of teacher would then go ahead an enforce that? It demonstrates a poor understanding of both eleven year olds and education.

[Wondergirl100]

I have ADHD and as a child it was almost impossible to have the things I needed for lessons. I was constantly in trouble.

The modern education system sadly does seem intended to break young people - remove all their autonomy, make them compliant and meak - I have been looking at secondary schools for one of my children and they are all 'silent' 'compliant' schools where not a minute of disruption chat or conversation is allowed.