To ask how I go about changing social workers?

QuickSandSickSand · 2021-11-27 19:51:10

NC’d for this, long time poster. Long story short - an accusation has been made against my exH (split up 3 years ago) by a child in his extended family. The accusation is that he showed this child (age 5) indecent adult material at her birthday party last year. This accusation was said out loud by the child in front of various people, including my 9yo DD. DD told me when I came to pick her up. She said “But it’s not true is it”. I said “Of course it’s not”. I said this partly because what the hell else am I supposed to say, it’s her dad FFS, and mostly because I know that on this child’s birthday last year, he was with ME, at our DD’s party, 2 hours away. The parties happened on the same day as DD couldn’t attend the other one, I remember it causing a bit of a stink at the time. The child’s parents went to the police after this disclosure. ExH hasn’t been arrested, he did go in for a voluntary interview though and said he was at mine. The police have taken a witness statement from me where I confirmed he was at my house the whole day (the other family are swearing he was there, luckily I have loads of pictures!) and I said I’ve never had a moments concern about him having a sexual interest in children. Obviously because we have 2 kids, childrens services are involved. Although there’s been no arrest and the investigation is still ongoing (the family are adamant that the child must be thinking of another time so the police are investigating this) and children’s services have asked that he has no unsupervised access to the kids. He still sees them but with his mum present and he doesn’t stay with them overnight. I’ve supported this, but until there’s a conclusion I also support the kids having a bit of normality so haven’t objected to this plan. Anyway, my social worker is the biggest fucking idiot I’ve ever met. In her words, I am now the problem. The reasons I am the problem are: - I ‘defended’ exH in my statement (I simply told the truth in that I have no suspicions of abuse regarding the children or have had any previous concerns about him - I told my DD when she initially asked that her dad didn’t do this (what else should I have said?!) - I have apparently tried to deflect with the officer who interviewed me because I talked about the fact we went to the same school. This was me just making small talk as you do when you try to diffuse bloody awkward situations but she sees this as me ‘buttering up’ (her words) the officer. - I didn’t object to him continuing to see the children even when supervised by his mum. Even when I said I would have objected had he been able to see them unsupervised, at least until the investigation concludes. I wish I was making this up. These are considered concerns and next week we have a Child Protection Conference and she will be bringing up the concerns she has about me, which is the main part of the conference report (not the actual allegation against exH). I feel like I’m in the fucking twilight zone. I have done nothing wrong, none of those examples show that I’m unable to care for and protect my kids (which is what the conference is there to ascertain), it’s being concerned over absolutely fuck all and I’m furious. She met the kids once at their school, nothing whatsoever came up form section 47 enquiries and she has met me twice where she seemed to be trying to trip me up and twist my words: “So you’re saying you don’t care what anyone says, you think he’s innocent” - no, idiot, I’m saying it didn’t happen on that specific date. She is still putting in the report that I “seem to be certain of exH’s innocence”. Which is a lie. The irony is I can’t even stand exH, but because of how he’s treated me not the kids, and id be the last person to run to his defence, it I answered questions truthfully about where he was on certain dates. Anyway can anyone advise how I change social worker? Is this ever possible? I cannot work with this one, she’s determined to find fault with me and is completely ignoring the fact that I’ve done everything they’ve asked me to and have ensured along with exMIL that there’s no unsupervised access to the children. Any advice? What can I expect at this conference?

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The OP's grateful for all the responses to this thread and has taken them all on board. However there are some real life concerns that this could be identifying. Due to the sensitive nature of the thread we've agreed to take it down.