SO embarrased DP caught me but surely he is over reacting

(82 Posts)
Whatajoke50 Fri 26-Nov-21 18:11:28

I cant believe Im even writing this out, but his reactions shocked me so much that I'm thinking was what I did so f*cking bad...

DP and I have been bickering a lot recently, lockdown, 2 young dc has taken a toll on our relationship/sex life.

The kids went to bed about 7.30pm last night, Dp friend came round. I pottered about doing the washing, packed lunches etc, had a quick bath, came down and watched TV with them both for about an hour but I was literally drifting off it has been a long week.

I went up to bed about 10pm, our living room (where DP and friend was) is not near our bedroom. Couldnt hear anything from them.

So anyway, I have got in bed, been falling asleep and with like I said, feeling stressed from lack of sex life, rubbed one out 😳 with the lights off, not watching porn, I'm sure everyone does it 😂

Anyway, DPs friend must have left by now and DP came sneaking upstairs, burst the door open and put the light on. I was so embarrased from the shock of him barging in that I just pretended I was asleep/falling asleep and asked him what he was doing
He was pissed off I could tell and said "we both know what you was doing" and stormed off.

Been on edge all day waiting for him to come home from work, thinking will he mention it, was it even that big of a deal

Well my god he has said I'm weird for doing it on my own, why didnt I want to have sex with him instead, why would I do that when his friend is downstairs (I couldn't hear them and the bathroom isnt near so its not like he was going to just come in) like he has made me feel like such a freak. Dreading when the kids go bed and how awkward it will be tonight ...

OP’s posts: |
dontletthemugglesgetyoudownn Fri 26-Nov-21 18:12:44

Your DP is weird I bet he does it in the shower!

stalkersaga Fri 26-Nov-21 18:13:53

What's with all the threads about catching a partner wanking lately?

HairyFanjoBanjo Fri 26-Nov-21 18:14:23

Is your DH from the 1950’s? Why would he give a shit if you’re having a wank?

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername Fri 26-Nov-21 18:14:30

It's none of his business.

WorraLiberty Fri 26-Nov-21 18:15:23


You could've been scratching your arse under the covers for all he knew.

Weird conclusion he jumped to...

BobbieT1999 Fri 26-Nov-21 18:15:49

Tell him to grow up!


LakieLady Fri 26-Nov-21 18:16:24

Completely OTT.

He's the weird one, not you.

WorraLiberty Fri 26-Nov-21 18:16:34


What's with all the threads about catching a partner wanking lately?

I know. I think some people are confusing MN with erotica.

Whatajoke50 Fri 26-Nov-21 18:16:38

I could understand him being angry if I was caught watching porn but I was just in the privacy of my own bedroom, alone. I've never cheated, he hasn't. Really hoping it will just blow over

OP’s posts: |
Rocktheboat56 Fri 26-Nov-21 18:16:40

Some people are weird about it. Why should it be a secret. The issue here is that he wants you to do it with him which is normally for any couple. So his annoyance is you did it without him.

However from your point of view how could you know how long he will be and if you'll still be in the mood when he comes to bed. Sounds like possible better communication between you and less anger on his part would help.

He needs to understand why he over-reacted. You need to understand he wanted it to be with you.

grapewine Fri 26-Nov-21 18:17:10

So many wanking threads lately.

Anyway, perfectly normal. It's none of his business.

Santaischeckinglists Fri 26-Nov-21 18:17:27

I bet he assumed you were thinking about his mate...

Whatajoke50 Fri 26-Nov-21 18:18:08

So sorry this is one of many threads, Ive not been on MN for a while now. I just didn't know where else to ask for support/genuine opinions 🙈

OP’s posts: |
Asterales Fri 26-Nov-21 18:18:14

Oh tell him to fuck off. Insecure prick.

Thehop Fri 26-Nov-21 18:18:26

Bloody awful! Is he a catholic mother from the 20s? Why on EARTH should you be made to feel so ashamed for doing something so bloody normal?

Horrible cock nostril he is. Poor baby had his ego bruised!

Penistoe Fri 26-Nov-21 18:18:29

Bloody hell what a prize tosser of course it’s normal.

Justheretoaskaquestion91 Fri 26-Nov-21 18:18:32

I honestly have no idea how he would realise that that’s what you were doing if he had only entered the room.

speakout Fri 26-Nov-21 18:19:42

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Whatajoke50 Fri 26-Nov-21 18:19:54

Honestly same I dont know how he knew. I think its because i moved so fast he assumed

OP’s posts: |
speakout Fri 26-Nov-21 18:21:12

What a dilemma OP.

PrawnStars Fri 26-Nov-21 18:21:25


Hertsgirl10 Fri 26-Nov-21 18:24:33

Soo why don’t you want to have sex with him? Sounds like he does and you said there’s been a lack of it?

Also does he have a secret camera in the bedroom, how did he know? Or is he always on wank watch?

mumda Fri 26-Nov-21 18:25:00


2bazookas Fri 26-Nov-21 18:25:13

Just ask him when he last masturbated and where.

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