Page 3 | Funeral 'etiquette'

(55 Posts)
JaffaBiscuits Thu 25-Nov-21 15:17:52

A former colleague of my husband's sadly died recently, they had kept in touch occasionally and he thought a lot of him.

The funeral is next week, I had never met him so I think it'd be weird if I went, but DH has said he would like me to go with him.

Is it the right thing that only DH goes and would it be weird if I went too?

AIBU - Go to the funeral with DH.
YANBU - No don't go, it would be odd.

OP’s posts: |
lizziesiddal79 Fri 26-Nov-21 07:20:12

I went to my friend’s father’s funeral. I had never met her father. I was there to support my friend.

Lockdownbear Fri 26-Nov-21 07:27:22

MrsMargaretBeaufort

I have never understood people going to funerals of people they actually didn't know. I find it intrusive tbh. Its not a party/wedding.

In what way is it intrusive?
People at a funeral are there to support the living as well as close the chapter on the dead person's life.

HeronLanyon Fri 26-Nov-21 07:42:36

At my mums funeral there were people she hadn’t met (not many) but eg partners of friends, a few had childcare probs and asked beforehand if that would be ok - special needs etc but they really wanted to be there - some friends of mine from childhood who brought H/W etc. I didn’t think anything of any of this. The bulk of people did know her and those who didn’t were really welcome and understandable. Don’t think there were any utter strangers but around 200 who I knew were attending were there and I wasn’t really paying attention and wouldn’t have spent a moment worrying about it if there had been others for any reason.
Memorial party afterwards was catered so I did keep track of numbers for that part of the afternoon.
I know some cultures see funerals as public and open to the public generally. Others as being very private etc. Plus guided by what the family wants and what the dead person would have wanted. Balancing act.

gofg Fri 26-Nov-21 08:27:29

I have never understood people going to funerals of people they actually didn't know. I find it intrusive tbh. Its not a party/wedding.

You go to a funeral to support the living, it doesn't matter if you didn't know the deceased. Such strange attitudes on MN. Funerals are public events, anyone can go if they so wish - if you want to hand pick who attends then hold a private one.

PanettoneSeason Fri 26-Nov-21 08:39:11

I’d go in that situation. I’ve been to funerals with my DH, both family and friends, where I had never met the person.

When my gran passed, my now MIL attended the funeral despite never having met my gran - she said she wanted to pay her respects to my family which was nice but a bit awkward as the families hadn’t met yet. Now DH was working away from home and couldn’t get leave to come home so he wasn’t there. She brought along 2 friends that I’d never met though - that was weird!

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