Men in the female changing rooms!

[ewchoc]

I know this has been done to death, but I'm sat here waiting for my children to come out of their swimming lessons and getting increasingly annoyed at the number of men in the female changing rooms.

Tiny swimming pool attached to a school with two small changing rooms, clearly marked male and female. Every week there are at least one or two men who insist on bringing their daughters (all under 7) into the female side to change before & after lessons. It's just one open space, no cubicles or individual spaces, and my DD (9) is getting more and more anxious having to change in front of these full grown men!

Am I being precious or should I ask them to use the men's? Their attitude is that it's their daughters who are getting changed, so they can't take them into the male side with all the boys!

[Sirzy]

I would ask the venue what their policy is for the changing room I very much doubt it’s to allow men into the ladies!

It’s not fair of them to not think about everyone using the facilties

[LibrariesGiveUsPower45321]

Tell them to get out and complain to management.

Assuming this isn’t actually trans woman in which case it’s a different kettle of fish. A comment for which I’ll get flamed more doubt.

[PurpleDaisies]

Complain to the leisure centre. This is totally inappropriate.

[HeadPain]

They shouldn't be in there

[MassiveHoard]

Not acceptable at all, and evidences the fact that men often don't understand the effect of their actions when it comes to women and girls. I would speak up if you're brave enough. Perhaps an email to the management is the way to go, then you'll have evidence of what they say. It'll make it more difficult for them to fob you off.

[Vanishun]

Complain to the Centre (and keep complaining until they do something).

Funny isn't it - they don't want their daughters exposed somehow to other men, but don't give a shit about yours or the other women in there.

[Soontobe60]

@MassiveHoard

Not acceptable at all, and evidences the fact that men often don't understand the effect of their actions when it comes to women and girls. I would speak up if you're brave enough. Perhaps an email to the management is the way to go, then you'll have evidence of what they say. It'll make it more difficult for them to fob you off.

No need to be brave to point out to men that they shouldn’t be around females who are naked!
Either tell the men directly, or tell the management that there are men in the female changing room and they need to get them out.

[sparepantsandtoothbrush]

Funny isn't it - they don't want their daughters exposed somehow to other men, but don't give a shit about yours or the other women in there

100% this!!

[Spidey66]

Imho if the child cant dress independently they should go into the changing room of the parent they're with....in this example the gents. But really there should be family changing rooms.

[My2favboys]

wonder if they're trying to protect the girls from what they'll see in the mens changing room.

[ewchoc]

It's not a leisure centre, just a small SEN school with a small swimming school hiring out the pool

[Youdoyoutoday]

I don't understand these open changing rooms!! What's next? Open toilets??

I wouldn't feel comfortable in those circumstances so I understand why your daughter wouldn't

[PurpleDaisies]

@ewchoc

It's not a leisure centre, just a small SEN school with a small swimming school hiring out the pool

Ok.

Complain to the school.

[ewchoc]

At least it seems my reaction is quite normal! I was wondering because none of the other women seem to have an issue. Maybe everyone here is too scared to say anything!

[ItsSnotFair]

If its attached to a school they should be more vigilant. Say something, totally unacceptable

[AlfonsoTheUnrepentant]

@Vanishun

Complain to the Centre (and keep complaining until they do something).

Funny isn't it - they don't want their daughters exposed somehow to other men, but don't give a shit about yours or the other women in there.

Well put.

[coconutpie]

This is completely unacceptable. You need to speak to management about this.

[donquixotedelamancha]

I'm amazed you put up with this once. They need to leave immediately and (depending on their behaviour) I'd seriously consider reporting them to the police.

An under 7 girl getting changed in front of male children is not a big deal; adult men watching girls change is.

[Aroundtheworldin80moves]

The very simple solution I've seen to this is them marking the changing rooms as Father&Child and Mother&,Child.

Its probably thoughtlessness.

[Whatapalava67]

Call them out on it. Just a simple "I'm sorry, but men aren't allowed in the women's changing room" should be enough. Have done this exact thing in the same situation. They only continue to do it because they are not called out on it.
Such a shame that women are programmed to live with their own discomfort at the expense of men.

[Gliderx]

Report, report. Grown men should not be in the female changing-room.

As a short-term solution, can you get your poor DD one of those wearable changing towels to change underneath?

[Sexnotgender]

100% complain. Totally unacceptable.

[Warblerinwinter]

@donquixotedelamancha

I'm amazed you put up with this once. They need to leave immediately and (depending on their behaviour) I'd seriously consider reporting them to the police.

An under 7 girl getting changed in front of male children is not a big deal; adult men watching girls change is.

Except when I was 7 I had to do this and was mortified and distressed. Ended up crying.

Really there need to be curtains up or cubicles so dads can go into men’s or vice versa with their opposite sex child.

I think any child above about 4-5 realises their six and wants privacy form opposite sex when nude. It’s a natural human instinct.

[Warblerinwinter]

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

The very simple solution I've seen to this is them marking the changing rooms as Father&Child and Mother&,Child.

Its probably thoughtlessness.

It’s not a solution. Daughters of fathers or vice versa will be caused distress by having to change with members of the opposite sex

The only way is individual privacy, curtains etc or god forbid actual cubicles

[Rocket1982]

Children are getting changed and adults are fully clothed. Your point is that your daughter is upset that there are adult men in the changing room with her but if the dad takes his daughter into the mens then she is getting changed in front of adult men and teenage boys. No easy solution to this when the child is too young to change themselves and the changing rooms are communal.