To think it’s fine to spend lots of time in bed!

(329 Posts)
Thatsthewaytis Wed 27-Oct-21 12:58:00

I spend lots of time in bed and starting to feel like my DH thinks it’s lazy or that it’s not right to do so.

For context we’ve no DC, both WFH full time since March 2020. He is up at 8, out walking the dog, cooking his breakfast and at his desk working for 9.

I get up at 8.30, make a coffee and breakfast, back to bed, switch on laptop and do admin type tasks for the morning (reading work documents, review and comment on people’s work, organise meetings etc etc) then usually get up around 12.30 get dressed, lunch and spend my afternoon at the desk doing data parts of my work that need two screens.

Sometimes DH will walk past and say ‘still in bed’ ‘are you getting up soon’ etc - not in a mean way but just in a way that implies he thinks I’m still in bed.

I mean I am physically but I’ve done a full mornings work same as him.

Also in evenings if he’s heading out for example my preference is usually to get into bed with a cup of tea and watch tv there instead of on the couch - it’s comfier and warmer! He also seems to think I’ve gone ‘back to bed already’. Again technically true - I could be out of bed at 12 and back in bed by 8 when this happens.

Anyone else spend lots of time in bed or would you also think it’s not right? For more context as well, I suffer with back issues and I have an amazing firm mattress so I’m just more comfortable in bed than on a chair or couch.

OP’s posts: |
LemonWeb Wed 27-Oct-21 12:59:21

Is this a reverse?

JuneOsborne Wed 27-Oct-21 12:59:37

The older I get, the more time I spend in bed. Just to warn you though, it started with me when I was really deficient in vitamin D.

fluffybunny98765 Wed 27-Oct-21 13:00:24

I take the baby to bed at 7 and often stay there with him. It's easier in case he wakes but also comfier and don't have that annoying thing of having to tear yourself away from the sofa to go to bed.

I don't think I could work from bed, but that's just me, each to their own!

Mayhemmumma Wed 27-Oct-21 13:01:02

I'd love to do that!

It would however really annoy me if my DH did this and wouldn't do it if everyone else in house was up.

It sounds a little like depression to me.

Cheerbear23 Wed 27-Oct-21 13:02:01

Ummm I love my bed, but that sounds like next level stuff to me. If I did that I’d be thinking I was getting depressed and hiding away.

helpfulperson Wed 27-Oct-21 13:02:15

Like you I spend alot of time in bed. I do it because its more comfy than my sofa and there is room for my cats as well. I'm being as productive as I would be elsewhere so sometimes very and sometimes not.


Fabpinky Wed 27-Oct-21 13:02:32

I often choose to lay in my bed rather then on the sofa. I love laying in bed. You can be productive from bed!

Starcaller Wed 27-Oct-21 13:03:13

I love being in bed. Reading in bed, watching TV in bed, cuppa in bed. It's comfy and cosy!

Roominmyhouse Wed 27-Oct-21 13:03:18

I’m not sure it is normal. I WFH and have no kids so get up as late as possible (8.30) shower and get dressed then start. I definitely wouldn’t want to work in bed, it doesn’t sound comfy to me. But if it works for you then that’s fair enough. How do you spend any time with your DH though if you are back in bed at 8pm?

Tee20x Wed 27-Oct-21 13:03:29

I love laying in bed too. Same as PP I spend my evening there with DD as we cosleep and easier then leaving and constantly having to resettle etc.

Plus it's warm and cosy.

inmyslippers Wed 27-Oct-21 13:03:38

Guilty!! It's comfier then my sofa

horseymum Wed 27-Oct-21 13:03:59

If you have back issues, does moving more help? He's maybe just trying to help?

Rosycheeks21 Wed 27-Oct-21 13:04:48

I have no children and WFH. I get up 10 minutes before I start, and wear pyjamas everyday. I’m making the most of it.

bigbluebus Wed 27-Oct-21 13:04:53

I have an adult DS who does this - drives me bonkers (he lives here). I think it's such a waste of a day (he's not working whilst he's there he is allegedly job hunting on his laptop - he does have a job but doesn't start work until 6pm.) I'm more concerned about his physical health/posture than the fact he's in bed.

BirdyBirdyTweetTweet Wed 27-Oct-21 13:05:22

I do too. I can quite easy be in bed at nighttime between 7-8 pm. I love it.

Taoneusa Wed 27-Oct-21 13:06:53

I’ve moved my centre of gravity away from the sofa to the bed, as well. The benefits of WiFi and nice loungewear are manifold!

Your husband, op, is old school. grin

Privatesector Wed 27-Oct-21 13:07:16

I love my bed but even I think that might be a bit too much

MedusasBadHairDay Wed 27-Oct-21 13:07:26

I had to do this when I first started getting disability symptoms, now I can't think of anything worse.

GreenestValley Wed 27-Oct-21 13:09:36

Do you pull the curtains? Do you lie under the duvet or on top of it? Do you ever have to do video calls..?

I think it would make me feel a bit gross not to get showered and dressed for half the day.

M0rT Wed 27-Oct-21 13:09:40

I have back issues too and while I don't work in bed as I need the screens and keyboard I was spending most of the rest of my time in it as I also have a good mattress.
I bought an orthopedic armchair so I could sit comfortably with my DH in the sitting room as I thought it was affecting us being apart so much.
He never complained though and would not give out about me doing what I need to do to relieve pain.
There are still evenings when I need to lie down if I've been in the work chair all day and he just brings me tea and offers painkillers.

switswoo81 Wed 27-Oct-21 13:11:29

I have back issues and there is no way I could stay in bed working all morning on a laptop even with a good mattress or pillows I would need the support of a good chair and a high desk.
I think it's a lot of time in bed during the day

Liverbird77 Wed 27-Oct-21 13:11:31

I go to bed early...I am often in there by 8, watching stuff on my phone and chilling.
I have a one year old and a two year old though, and I go to the gym many mornings, so I am usually up by 5.30.

I used to lie around like you in my teens and twenties but I'd feel yuck if I did it now, plus I think it would affect my ability to fall asleep at night.

There's nothing wrong with it though. You do you!

Fetarabbit Wed 27-Oct-21 13:13:32

Sounds pretty lazy to be honest, how much exercise do you get in a day?

Persephoned Wed 27-Oct-21 13:15:24

It sounds fine from time to time OP, but it doesn’t sound great as a daily routine day in and day out tbh. Do you leave the house at all? Fresh air and exercise really do make a difference to physical and mental health and I would be worried if this was my partner’s daily routine.

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