To ask how I mentally accept this mistake?

(131 Posts)
idiotgeorge Tue 26-Oct-21 17:00:23

I made a really costly mistake because I was stressed and didn’t check something carefully before I booked it. I’m talking 1000s. It won’t leave me impoverished or anything but will make a massive dent in my savings.

I’m hoping the company in question will take pity but let’s say they don’t…

I’m looking for some good ‘mantras’ for just accepting this and moving on. I’m completely devastated but I don’t want to be overwhelmed with this feeling for too long. How do I swallow it and move on and not be filled with regret?

OP’s posts: |
Polecat03 Tue 26-Oct-21 17:03:33

If it really can't be fixed or the situation improved in any way, then there does come an acceptance of 'whats done is done'. Usually it just takes people a while to come to that and the resistance of accepting it is where all the suffering happens (how could this have happened, why now, why me, if only).

LookItsMeAgain Tue 26-Oct-21 17:06:12

I don't know what you bought/spent the money on but if it's a holiday, they may be able to reschedule it to a date that you can make if that is what the issue is. You could take the position that you're going to be spending the money anyway that you'd be really grateful if they could see their way to doing X for you.
Would that help?
They can still say no and then you have to think well that money really wasn't meant for you to use for you or your family so it's better of gone out of your savings.

AFS1 Tue 26-Oct-21 17:08:30

It’s happened. You’re doing your best to fix it. If it can’t be fixed, it is what it is and you know you’ll never make the same mistake again, so, if nothing else, it’s taught you a valuable lesson.

GunsNShips Tue 26-Oct-21 17:08:35

I always find I’m much harder on myself than I would be if someone else had made the mistake.

Try thinking about the things you’d be saying to a friend if they did the same as you

Europilgrim Tue 26-Oct-21 17:11:56

This happened to us - except it was DH's mistake. It took me several years to get over it! Hopefully you will get it back, OP. If not, try not to beat yourself up, you're only human!

Carolinechanning Tue 26-Oct-21 17:14:46

Keep texting yourself the wisdom prayer. If you're not religious (I'm not but it helps me) omit the word God, or change it to another name eg another God your own name someone you admire.

As soon as you think about the mistake play a funny video on YouTube to take your mind off of it and laugh.

When you think about it eg 'I lost thousands' end the sentence with 'at least' or 'but' so I lost thousands but at least I still have X, at least I donated the item to someone in need, at least I've learnt not to X, but now I know X, but I can't fix it so I have to move on.

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PhoboPhobia Tue 26-Oct-21 17:15:17

I always think writing things down helps you move on.

Write down all the reasons the mistake happened, even if it’s just, didn’t check properly. Write down everything you have tried to rectify it and whether you could do anything else.

That way you have let go of all the what if’s.

Melawati Tue 26-Oct-21 17:23:47

If it was an online booking you may be in the cooling off period (applied to most online purchases) www.which.co.uk/consumer-rights/advice/can-i-cancel-an-online-order-asTEa2C5lNpo

TinToms Tue 26-Oct-21 17:32:36

GunsNShips

I always find I’m much harder on myself than I would be if someone else had made the mistake.

Try thinking about the things you’d be saying to a friend if they did the same as you

This is nice advice! I also try to think – will this be my big worry in 10 years’ time? If not, let it go. I imagine you work hard and you’ll earn your money back.

Bluetrews25 Tue 26-Oct-21 17:47:40

One day you will be able to accept this and be at peace with yourself. Why not let one day be tomorrow?

Bluetitsfly Tue 26-Oct-21 17:52:35

Forgive yourself. Move past it and think no more about it. flowers

Hellocatshome Tue 26-Oct-21 17:53:34

My husband lives by the mantra "but did anyone die?" Which is very annoying when he forgets to put the bins out but maybe helpful in this situation.

SheWoreYellow Tue 26-Oct-21 17:54:14

Can you make some plans to recoup some of the money by selling it on?

And I think imagining what you’d say to someone else is lovely.

FedUpAtHomeTroels Tue 26-Oct-21 17:58:35

Try not to be too hard on yourself, shit happens.
Most of us have made a silly mistake that cost money. Mine cost £480 I was livid with myself figured it out just 30 minutes after I'd done and still had to lose money (pay out to fix it) over it.

StoneofDestiny Tue 26-Oct-21 18:06:25

If you e signed something - there is usually a built in cooling off period. You need to check.
If you've bought something - can it be returned?
Hard to advise if you don't say what it is.

Muttly Tue 26-Oct-21 18:15:58

For me I would start by thinking about any options to fix the situation. Asking them about cancellation, negotiation on price, negotiating not paying the full amount by forfeiting the item etc etc, once those were exhausted I would vent to a friend to get out the worst of the feelings and then I’d just force myself not to dwell on it but accept I might have some automatic negative thoughts and feelings on and off that I cannot control but I will do my best not to dwell on. Some tears, if it warrants it, can be useful to help processing emotions but obviously that may not all be warranted. I’ve had a reasonable amount of success with this strategy for getting over some difficult experiences.

MatildaTheCat Tue 26-Oct-21 18:17:58

If you want to post some more details some of the hive will do doubt have some ideas on how to proceed.

IslaPineappple Tue 26-Oct-21 18:30:20

Someone on here will have a good idea how to fix it. Don't stress thanks

GrumpyTerrier Tue 26-Oct-21 18:35:35

I once booked a super cheap holiday to Spain then later realised it was cheap cos I had booked for one person only. We couldnt afford the cost of an additional person so the whole thing went to waste. Annoying at the time but a funny story years later. I was drunk when I booked it.

BlameItOnTheBlackStar Tue 26-Oct-21 18:37:12

Repeat repeat repeat:

Courage for the big troubles, patience for the small. Be of good cheer. God is awake.

Elieza Tue 26-Oct-21 18:41:29

Did you book online as there’s usually a 14 day cooling off period.

DysmalRadius Tue 26-Oct-21 18:42:44

We call it 'the idiot tax' whereby you write off a certain amount per year due mistakes like this. Forgetting keys and having to pay a locksmith, calling out an emergency electrician to point out that something's switched off at the wall, doing your brand new phone down the toilet - these things are all infuriating and costly but part of life (hence a 'tax').

Apart from that, time is a great healer and hopefully your rage will fade in time...

KarmaStar Tue 26-Oct-21 18:46:37

Hi op,
I'm really pleased that you are looking to get rid of negative emotions.it is too easy to fuel them with anger and annoyance at oneself,the company and any other outlet.
Here are many things you can do,from writing down all the anger,unfairness,annoyance then burning the paper,to meditation and releasing the negativity which will weigh you down and attract more negativity.
Also,but some RHODONITE Crystal and keep it on you and put under your pillow or next to bed.
This Crystal will be excellent for releasing it all and bring you positivity instead.
Rose quartz brings love including self love.
Don't ,if possible,keep dwelling on it or allow others to talk about the mistake in a disparaging way.
Accept it,deep breaths,tell yourself you can't change it,that you can't move forwards if you are looking backwards and be aware this night be a life lesson,what that lesson might be,if you don't know,ask in meditation.keep moving onwards.be happy to be alive and attract as much positivity into your life as you can.CITRINE is a very happy Crystal that brings joy.
Good luck.🌈

Peace43 Tue 26-Oct-21 18:49:43

I’m a big fan of “not the end of the world”. If I can’t fix it then I forget it.

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