Was I wrong to touch her child?

(447 Posts)
WhatDoYouDo1234 Mon 25-Oct-21 19:08:21

At a famous London attraction today with my 4 year old. She was playing on one of the interactive exhibits. There was a long queue behind us. Another little girl about 3 kept running up and putting her hands on what my daughter was doing. Think an interactive drawing, so each time she touched it the screen cleared and my daughter’s drawing was lost. There was no parent anywhere near. First time I said gently “No, it’s not your turn, it’s this girl’s turn, you have to wait.” Or something to that effect. By the fifth or sixth time my daughter was getting increasingly cross, no matter how much I told her to be patient and try again, or how I tried to ask the other little girl to stop, and the kids behind us were getting cross too. I’m trying to prevent my daughter from loosing her cool. So I actually removed the girl’s hands and gently lifted her back saying “It’s not your turn. You have to wait.” A mum then came storming up shouting at me “Not to effing touch my child again!” To which I said something like “Well maybe if you were watching her you could have sorted it.” So my question is not if I was unreasonable, I probably was, but what do you do in that situation? With hindsight I’m thinking I should have called out for someone to come and get their child? But it was all quite quick! What would you do?!

OP’s posts: |
Rtmhwales Mon 25-Oct-21 19:10:04

I don't think I would've touched another child but I can see why you did. I think I would've physically just stood between the kid and my daughter when I saw her approach again and block her if that makes sense?

SweetMaryHell Mon 25-Oct-21 19:11:52

You were right. I was once waiting for my DD in a changing room whilst she was trying something on. A little girl (no parents in sight) kept trying to look under the cubicle door. I told her over and over again to stop, DD was getting increasingly angry and then shouted “if I see that kid under this door again I’ll kick her in the face”. So I picked the kid up and delivered her back to her oblivious parents.

Liverbird77 Mon 25-Oct-21 19:12:46

The woman was a stupid cow. I can't stand people like this. You were very patient.

negomi90 Mon 25-Oct-21 19:13:50

You shouldn''t tough a strange child unless they're in danger or putting someone else in danger.
In this case you could have just got in the way or asked her loudly where her grown up was/pretended she was lost in order to get the attention of her grown up who you could have then talked to.

Sleepyblueocean Mon 25-Oct-21 19:15:24

I would move my child on to do something else. I wouldn't touch another child for behaviour issues unless my child is at risk and even then I would try to move my own child.

Hankunamatata Mon 25-Oct-21 19:15:44

I would have done what you did (otherwise my son would have wacked her as he has no impulse control)

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bemoretiger Mon 25-Oct-21 19:16:35

No I would never have picked up the little girl in that circumstance. If my daughter was getting frustrated I would have moved her on and come back later, or found something else to do.

Thesearmsofmine Mon 25-Oct-21 19:16:40

I would probably have done the same thing or asked the child where her grown up was and delivered her back to them.

Comedycook Mon 25-Oct-21 19:16:48

I wouldn't have done what you did to be honest, not because I think it's awful but because I know the kind of reaction it can provoke. I think the most I'd have done is put myself in the way of the screen or whatever it was. You are totally correct that her parent should have been supervising her properly

MiloAndEddie Mon 25-Oct-21 19:17:01

I think I would’ve done the same tbh, possibly more without thinking than deliberately iyswim?
Cant bear people who do nothing until you do.

PandoraP Mon 25-Oct-21 19:18:43

I would have done exactly the same as you OP. Why can’t you touch someone else’s child? I wasn’t aware of that rule.

WhatDoYouDo1234 Mon 25-Oct-21 19:19:31

Ok mixed bag! Thought I'd get more flamed!

I'm not saying she was in danger, but I could see my daughter whacking her. Not condoning that behaviour, she's just four and it's an impulse response to someone not taking turns and destroying her work.

Interesting those saying to move my daughter. Firstly there was a queue of other kids, so this girl would have effectively pushed in n front of them. But more importantly, why should I cut my daughter's time short and her not get her print out drawing because someone else was ruining it? We would have had to queue again!

Ugh! Other parents are a minefield!

OP’s posts: |
Elisemum Mon 25-Oct-21 19:19:32

I would have absolutely done what you did. That girl was a brat and since there was no parents in sight you had to act on it. I actually think your reaction was very gentle and you were very patient. I’d lose my shit earlier than you if a spoiled brat was annoying my child who was well behaved

Workyticket Mon 25-Oct-21 19:20:10

What you did was fine. The child was too young to be wandering alone for long enough to irritate you and your dc so many times.

No way should you have moved your child along - it was her turn, she'd probably waited for it.

The other mother should have apologised to your dd

ABCeasyasdohrayme Mon 25-Oct-21 19:21:09

I wouldn't have done it, but the mother should 100% have been watching.

That said I wouldn't let my kid be drawing 5 or 6 times if there was a long queue of people either. I would have come back later.

WhatDoYouDo1234 Mon 25-Oct-21 19:21:19

Also if that was me I would be more apologetic! "I'm so sorry my child has cut in, say sorry Isabella (or whatever)" and made a big deal out going to "wait our turn."

OP’s posts: |
rrhuth Mon 25-Oct-21 19:22:02

Sleepyblueocean

I would move my child on to do something else. I wouldn't touch another child for behaviour issues unless my child is at risk and even then I would try to move my own child.

Yes this is what I would do too, I have no time for any conflict on a day out so would return when that thing/object was quieter.

Elisemum Mon 25-Oct-21 19:22:09

I can’t believe people said you were meant to move your daughter. Why? She was playing and it was her turn to play, why would you ever move he becouse another child was ruining he fun? You did the right thing and you were very good not to actually do more than that. That child’s mother was an idiot.

WhatDoYouDo1234 Mon 25-Oct-21 19:22:25

@ABCeasyasdohrayme my kid only had to draw five or six times because this other kid kept deleting the screen and loosing her drawing so we couldn't get our print out!!! Why should she loose out or queue again because some other kid has ruined her work?!

OP’s posts: |
Alwayswonderedwhy Mon 25-Oct-21 19:22:36

I think you were very patient and gave the mother plenty of time to parent her own child.

rrhuth Mon 25-Oct-21 19:23:08

WhatDoYouDo1234

Also if that was me I would be more apologetic! "I'm so sorry my child has cut in, say sorry Isabella (or whatever)" and made a big deal out going to "wait our turn."

Well yes I am sure you would, but newsflash some people are illmannered and some actively teach their children to push in/take extra etc.

EishetChayil Mon 25-Oct-21 19:23:41

Teach your daughter to stand up for herself and shove any little brat away who tries to spoil her fun.

MistyFrequencies Mon 25-Oct-21 19:24:54

I would probably get in her way first, position myself between the child and your daughter. If that didn't work I'd try and yell out asking for a parent. If that failed id 100% pick the kid up and move them. It's so hard in the moment to know what's right. I don't think you were wrong for picking her up but my worry would be you don't know who the parent is and what the reaction would be.

Viviennemary Mon 25-Oct-21 19:26:09

I would have walked away complaining about hopeless parenting in a loud voice.

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