Is it possible to ever meet a guy that doesn't watch porn?

[Quirkyme]

Good afternoon,

I'm a happily single woman in my late twenties, open to a relationship whenever the time comes.
I'm not a porn watcher, and for reasons I'm sure many of us know, I find porn damaging and detrimental... and therefore would prefer to be with someone who doesn't watch porn.

Because a lot of, if not most, men watch porn, it's normalised as being something women, and society in general, should accept as normal because it's common, which I don't agree with.

My ex also had a porn addiction, and also couldn't perform during sex, which obviously did not provide a great environment or atmosphere for us when having sex. I also do feel that he was closeted due to certain things he said, and I do feel that he was watching a lot of cck heavy porn. He had sexual issues in general, and also had not cm since his first time having sex 10 years ago, which I attribute to him ferociously w*nking off and watching porn. He was not forthcoming about any of this either. He also wanted me to do things (obviously from what he watched in porn) that I communicated that I felt were degrading, and then he used to stop pleasuring me, or say that he would only do certain things - going down on me, if he could do the degrading thing which I had openly communicated that I'm not comfortable with. This is obviously not okay. He would also make comments about my vag (because it couldn't take a pounding for excessive amounts of time) and just about me in bed in general, when funnily enough he couldn't even have sex properly due to his own issues. So yeah.

I had my views about porn, before this relationship, but my experience with this guy has obviously not helped, and only strengthened my view of it, and I guess I am in some ways affected by this. This relationship ended about 8 months ago.
And now I just have concerns about men watching porn, the content of what their wanting, and all sorts of 'hidden' things they get off to in their bedrooms with no self-control, and I do not want that.

Of course, if I meet someone who watches porn, I cannot necessarily make them not watch it if they do, my ex before that also watched porn and whilst he did not have the same issues at all as my most recent ex, he had immature views about sex and also was selfish sexually.

Is it possible to meet a guy who does not watch porn, and has a healthy sexual appetite, and understands the negative and detrimental effects and damage that porn causes? Because it seems that women (who do not want to) have to just normalise this, and get on with this, and that's not something I want or agree with.

Thanks for reading.

[nc87653]

Well sure, according to MN no ones husband watches porn.

I do, my DH does. But there are definitely men out there that don't. Don't lose heart OP!

[Lavender24]

All of the guys I've dated have watched it. MN is super anti porn so no doubt loads of people will come along to claim their partner doesn't watch it but I honestly think you'll struggle to find a man who never watches it. You can absolutely have a healthy sexual relationship with someone who watches it as long as they aren't an addict but you've stated you also dislike it for ethical reasons so fair enough if you want to try and find a partner who shares your views.

[Elleextra]

Sorry to disappoint pp but my OH doesn't watch porn. And I'd leave him if he did, I don't want a man who thinks it's ok.

I'd rather be single forever.

[saltontoast]

My oh doesn't watch it but it wouldn't bother me if he did tbh.

[Blueberrycreampie]

So churchgoers don't watch porn? 😂

[DramaAlpaca]

I'm with @Elleextra. My DH doesn't. He doesn't have any inclination to watch it, shares my views on it, and also knows it would be a deal breaker to me if he did.

[Mybalconyiscracking]

Mine doesn’t (as far as I know).

I thought I’d have a look when I got my new tablet.. but it’s all so DULL!

[WhiskyXray]

Some men find porn videos as sexy as cancer, I'm told.

I think most straight men like images of the naked female form, though.

[Emma2021]

From what my DH states the vast majority, a very large majority of men up to the age of 80 watch porn. Nothing wrong with it as long as iy does not take over your life and its all legal stuff.

My DH gets his ideas from the porn he watches and has persuaded me to watch some at times in bed - you know what it works though I am too shy/etc to say I love it but at times I do and it makes our love making much better.

[Feelingoktoday]

I have male friends who do not regularly watch porn. They have watched it but never on a regular basis and probably not at all now.

However on MN every man watches porn and every Woman is a prude if we don’t.

[Emma2021]

@Elleextra

Sorry to disappoint pp but my OH doesn't watch porn. And I'd leave him if he did, I don't want a man who thinks it's ok.

I'd rather be single forever.

With respect and others must have thought about this, how can you be 100% certain he does not watch porn? Porn can be accessed at a moments notice on laptops/mobiles etc etc and history deleted if they wanted that or use sites that auto delete history.

FYI, a lot more women are now watching porn some examples well hung men, does not make them porn freaks etc etc.

Anything and everything within the law and in moderation is not bad at all

[Lockheart]

You can say cock and wanking etc on here you know.

[Quirkyme]

@Lockheart

You can say cock and wanking etc on here you know.

I didn't know that, seeing as I haven't spoken about that here before, and certain websites don't allow. I will make sure, I say it so much more in my next post.

[Ohpulltheotherone]

Well my DP definitely did before we met and probably whilst we’ve been together in the early days.
He MIGHT still now, although never seen any evidence to suggest it - not that I look but shared Ipad, use each others phones etc.
But being such a boring feminist who will happily rant about the dangers of porn and strip clubs and all that jazz he has had many years of me wanging on about it - so his mindset may have changed. I’ve never asked and j don’t think I want to, but I do know that he knows strip clubs are ethically off the table for me.

So to answer your question, sure there’s probably some men who don’t watch it but likely more that do. However it doesn’t mean they always will or that their minds aren’t open to being swayed away from it.
I’d certainly never date someone who was a porn “fan” - as in they thought it was best thing since sliced bread

[BirdsBirdsBird]

My husband doesn't watch porn. I found this hard to believe when I first met him, as my ex was heavily into it and I thought all men were to some extent. So not all men are.

I think you probably would need to look for men who are looking for a serious relationship and who aren't in general too sex driven. I met my husband online dating and he was clear that he was looking for a life partner, rather than a casual relationship.

NB my husband is a church goer, so maybe the previous commenter is more accurate than they might seem!

[Emma2021]

@Lockheart

You can say cock and wanking etc on here you know.

IMO even if you can, its a big turn off as different words could be easily used to get ones point across.

My DH is aware I hate the words you just mentioned and we both refer to it as a willy and add a size to it and self please So you see no need IMO anyway.

[Journeyofthedragons]

@Lockheart

You can say cock and wanking etc on here you know.

I thought it was cuck 🤣

[loveyours]

@Elleextra

Sorry to disappoint pp but my OH doesn't watch porn. And I'd leave him if he did, I don't want a man who thinks it's ok.

I'd rather be single forever.

Nobody is offended if your OH doesn't that there's really no way to know. I have to roll my eyes when people insist their partner doesn't.

Even if somebody is morally opposed to porn, that still doesn't stop them consuming it because in that moment, pleasure and gratification is more important

Same reason animal lovers eat meat, even when they know the problems in the meat industry. And I doubt any man is stupid enough to admit to watching porn at the threat of divorce

[WhiskyXray]

and we both refer to it as a willy and add a size to it

XXL-willy?

Or gigantic willy?

Do you provide helpful metric conversions?

[TuftyMarmoset]

Of course not all men watch it. I don’t check his search history but I’m pretty sure my DP doesn’t. He’s too busy reading webcomics. Make of that what you will…

[BonnyEm]

From what dh has told me, all of the men he knows do. He's on a lads group on WhatsApp and one of them constantly sends porn clips and memes to the group.
I only know dh watches it because I have asked him and he has told me that he does, otherwise I wouldn't know at all. He is very discreet about it. We have a very good sex life and it doesn't interfere at all.
Most men need a visual stimulant. A lot of women read romance or erotica.
Each to their own.
I think, as with most things, everything in moderation but when it affects your partner, yourself, your health or your sex life, there's a problem that needs addressing.