Hen party and mum not invited

(143 Posts)
rainonsunday Sun 24-Oct-21 10:31:22

Family member is getting married and they had a hen party, but nothing was arranged with the mum. No afternoon tea or anything non drinking etc.

Is this usual?

OP’s posts: |
Waitingtomove Sun 24-Oct-21 10:37:05

Depends on the relationship with the mum. I have a difficult history with my mum and didn’t have her at my hen

SpongebobNoPants Sun 24-Oct-21 10:39:02

I love my mum, she’s pretty young and fun (58 but a youthful 58), we have a fantastic relationship but she’s not coming on my hen do in February.

Wagglerock Sun 24-Oct-21 10:39:40

I adore my mum and she wasn't invited to my hen party.

KatherineofGaunt Sun 24-Oct-21 10:40:00

It depends on the activities and how much they cost and if the bride wants her mum there, surely? You can't expect a hen party to involve something sedate just so the mum can join in, if that's her thing. If they're going out to a club and that's not your thing then you just have to accept that.

kitcat15 Sun 24-Oct-21 10:40:01

Yes depends on how they get on with their Mum....all our family hen dos have included mums aunties and even grannies on occasions

ScamTheSchool Sun 24-Oct-21 10:40:26

You're supposed to invite your mum? Ooops!

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M0rT Sun 24-Oct-21 10:40:26

If the bride and her mother get on it does seem odd. My DM and aunts are not big drinkers so the norm in my family is an afternoon/evening with closer female family from both sides then a separate more drink oriented session for friends.
But if they would never usually meet up or have lunch etc it could be anything from awkward to distressing for the bride to do something specific for her wedding.

Etinoxaurus Sun 24-Oct-21 10:40:29

I adore my mum and it didn’t occur to me to invite her to my lame & boozy hen.
What’s it to you? If you’re close to mum and/ or daughter you could arrange a daytime tea party.

RampantIvy Sun 24-Oct-21 10:40:31

I don't think any mums were at any hen dos I have been to. You just need to keep out of it I'm afraid.

CloseYourEyesAndSee Sun 24-Oct-21 10:40:44

Hen parties are for friends really not mums

RedCarsGoFaster Sun 24-Oct-21 10:40:59

Yes, very normal. Not been to any hen do where the mum or MIL are present.

Pugdogmom Sun 24-Oct-21 10:41:11

That is unusual. I have never heard of a hen party where mums/MILS weren't invited.
I was at one last week and bride's granny was there.
Many mums of bride's these days are only in their 40s/50s and aren't quite ready for their dotage yet, nor would clutch their pearls at the odd blowup willy being banded about. I have 2 married daughters and went to their hen nights, and I don't think they would have dared suggested that a naice tea would have suited me better.grin

Yogawankonobi Sun 24-Oct-21 10:42:23

My mum openly said that she wouldn’t come on mine because she doesn’t like me! It was only a dinner! No wild partying.

SpongebobNoPants Sun 24-Oct-21 10:43:51

That is unusual. I have never heard of a hen party where mums/MILS weren't invited
Oh God, I’m not inviting my MIL either… or my SIL’s, I’m literally just having friends.
I must be awful grin

RealMermaid Sun 24-Oct-21 10:43:52

I had my mum and my aunties at my hen and it was awesome, they absolutely loved it, even the laser tag and clubbing! I thought it was such a fab way to celebrate. But my cousin didn't have her mum or aunties so I think it really depends on the family. I also know people who have had a separate 'family' hen with afternoon tea or something instead of having their mum along for the main event.

SpongebobNoPants Sun 24-Oct-21 10:44:04

@Yogawankonobi sad

Pugdogmom Sun 24-Oct-21 10:44:36

So far I seem to be in the minority re mums at hen nightsconfused. I genuinely haven't been to one where the mums weren't there. I did bow out of the clubbing though.grin

WomanStanleyWoman Sun 24-Oct-21 10:45:10

I’d say it depends on the nature of the event. I’ve been to hen dos with mothers present and those without; neither felt odd. My cousin is getting married next year and is having a do with friends, plus a trip with the female members of the family.

Welldarn Sun 24-Oct-21 10:46:31

From a MOG point of view my lovely daughter-in-law who lives with us just had a hen weekend with her bridesmaids, and a meal out with them (different days). Mob and myself went for a meal with the bride the day before the wedding, but it wasn’t a hen do, just a nice meal and chat before the big day.

I think that not inviting the mother of the bride is normal except in movies. Obviously some people do invite their mum on hen do”s but I don’t think it means anything if Mob is not invited.

StCharlotte Sun 24-Oct-21 10:46:42

I didn't even invite my sisters blush

NovemberWitch Sun 24-Oct-21 10:46:51

Maybe it’s an age thing, the hen parties I attended were 20+ years ago.
The idea of a parent attending was unthinkable. It was close friends of the bride to be only.

Gingersay Sun 24-Oct-21 10:48:29

How close are you? Could you not arrange a wee tea for mum, aunties and grannies?

PinkWaferBiscuit Sun 24-Oct-21 10:50:18

ScamTheSchool

You're supposed to invite your mum? Ooops!

Haha this.

Honestly I've never been to or known of a hen do which involved the brides mum or gran or mil.

StCharlotte Sun 24-Oct-21 10:50:21

Having said that I recently went on my niece's which was cocktails followed by dinner. It was lovely but rather sedate. Then MOB, MOG, the other aunt and I were packed off home while the young'uns carried on. I was quite miffed!

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