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AIBU?

To ring missing friends workplace to find out if she's okay?

329 replies

paribythelake · 18/10/2021 21:29

NC for this.

So a very close friend has gone missing
She did message me to ask me to unfollow one of her family members that followed me due to some family drama so I did.

She's a junior doctor so very busy and I went to whatsapp her. And her profile pic disappeared and one tick.
On social media her profiles have disappeared, and her mother's too.
Linked in everything has gone.

There is literal no trace of their online presence ever.

Now I don't know if I should drive to her house and knock on or ring her place of work and ask (tbhI don't know what I would say)

So would I be unreasonable to do this? I'm quite worried.

I'm not going to run off but be putting children to bed (way past their bedtime) so will come back shortly Smile

OP posts:
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Wolfiefan · 18/10/2021 21:31

Why don’t you simply text or call? Don’t contact her place of work.

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Pinkbottles · 18/10/2021 21:32

I think that’s a really good idea.
It might well be that they just need some time out but it definitely warrants a check.
Without wanting to scare you, a friend of mine did exactly this and then killed them selves.

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Pinkbottles · 18/10/2021 21:32

That is assuming you’ve tried contacting them directly?

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maddening · 18/10/2021 21:33

What was the drama with the following relative? Why was your following an issue?

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Seasonschange · 18/10/2021 21:35

I would turn up at the house and if she’s not home post a card through saying how you are worried about her and please call. Give it 24 hours then ring her work.

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topcat2014 · 18/10/2021 21:35

A workplace would usually carry out a welfare check after a while

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AliceinBorderland · 18/10/2021 21:35

Call her. Not a WhatsApp call.

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MsLizard · 18/10/2021 21:35

It sounds like they've blocked you.

Are there no mutual friends you can ask if they've heard from them? I wouldn't go straight to their workplace.

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IDontDrinkTea · 18/10/2021 21:35

It sounds like she’s blocked you. I wouldn’t meddle in her workplace, but you could always post a note through her door

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DuvetDayIsEveryDay · 18/10/2021 21:36

Honestly, I'd drive her their house.

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Yogawankonobi · 18/10/2021 21:36

As she’s a junior doctor they are unlikely to give you any information.

Surely knocking on her door is the most sensible option?

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HollowTalk · 18/10/2021 21:36

You say she is a very good friend. I wouldn't call her at work as it sounds as though she's been really busy but I would put a note through her door. I'd knock to see if she was in before doing that.

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Aldidl · 18/10/2021 21:37

I’d go to her home first and then indeed ring work. When you say family drama - can you elaborate?

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GreyhoundG1rl · 18/10/2021 21:37

Do you mean "missing"from social media? Confused. If you think she's at work she's hardly missing.

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MissAmbrosia · 18/10/2021 21:38

Did you actually try ringing/texting her? She might have a good reason for ditching all social media.

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PrivateHall · 18/10/2021 21:39

Of course call to her house, try a few times at different times of the day. Ringing her work should be a last resort.

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Blue4YOU · 18/10/2021 21:40

Op this is what I’d do..
Phone her. If no answer
Drove around to her house.
If there are lights on etc knock
If not text her and say you are worried.
Email.
Only then go to her workplace
Provided there is someone else to care for your DC you can do all of this tonight and/or tomorrow

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Blue4YOU · 18/10/2021 21:40

Drive obviously

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Lightswitch123 · 18/10/2021 21:40

What happens when you just try an old fashioned telephone call (not via WhatsApp/ Social media)?

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ABCeasyasdohrayme · 18/10/2021 21:40

She has likely blocked you, or she has come offline for a while for whatever reason.

Please don't check on her or call her work. If she was actually missing her family would contact you.

If she wanted to talk to you she would have contacted you.

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YoBeaches · 18/10/2021 21:43

She hasn't gone missing rather has come off social media. In real life her and her family are presumably still around so revert to traditional methods of communication perhaps... if after that you don't have confidence she is ok then you can raise a welfare concern via 101.

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CausingChaos2 · 18/10/2021 21:46

It’s quite common for people to delete Facebook for a while or permanently but with the WhatsApp changes too, I’m sorry I think she may have blocked you.

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KeyboardWorriers · 18/10/2021 21:47

It sounds like she has just blocked you or shut down her social media?

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Summerfun54321 · 18/10/2021 21:48

If she’s missing then call the police, is she actually missing though? Or just stopped using WhatsApp?!

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Summerfun54321 · 18/10/2021 21:49

I’d definitely do a welfare police check rather than call her work. Calling her work isn’t your job, you aren’t a detective.

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