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AIBU?

Teacher calling DD “Thing”

251 replies

ThingDDUR · 18/10/2021 20:31

In the context I have no issue with it but ExH does so wondered if I’m UR?

Parents evening, chatting away and the teacher says “But generally (DDs name) is such a funny little thing, we’re always laughing when she’s in the room” then starts smiling and laughing while telling us some funny stories about DD (nothing naughty or bad, more pulling her jumper on after PE and shouting “Oh look here I am again” with a massive grin on her face or asking the headteacher if she’s old or very very old now on her birthday)

ExH wants me to complain to the headteacher tomorrow about the use of the word thing. I think it’s absolutely fine as she wasn’t calling DD “thing” in a derogatory way and it was just a clumsy choice of word.

So who is UR? Me or ExH?

DD is 7, just started Year 3 if it helps. The teacher also referred to DD a lot by her preferred name (a short version of her name) and this was the only time she said thing in reference to DD, otherwise it was always her full name, her short name or her full name (say her names Elizabeth Smith, teacher called her Elizabeth Smith, Elizabeth or Lizzie apart from when saying about her being a "funny little thing"). DD is also smaller in height than her friends so that might be where little comes from as I have heard her classmates call her Little Lizzie and similar as there is another Elizabeth/Lizzie in her class (obviously not her actual name thats just for example)

Vote:
YANBU - You're right the teacher was fine to use "thing"
YABU - ExH is right report to HT

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

2729 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
1%
You are NOT being unreasonable
99%
SoniaFouler · 18/10/2021 20:33

Your ex is being ridiculous.

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blueluce85 · 18/10/2021 20:33

He's fucking off his nut if he has a problem with that

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VodselForDinner · 18/10/2021 20:33

Ah, your ex is “that” parent.

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EvilRingahBitch · 18/10/2021 20:33

Is your ExH English? Because I can't imagine any native English speaker objecting to that. It's a normal affectionate idiom.

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mollypuss1 · 18/10/2021 20:33

Is this serious?

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CheshireChat · 18/10/2021 20:33

I can easily imagine why he's an ex!

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notsorighteousthesedays · 18/10/2021 20:34

No wonder he's an ex!!

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latte101 · 18/10/2021 20:34

Is he just trying to complain about anything?

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MrsSkylerWhite · 18/10/2021 20:34

Can see why he’s an X. Why does he need you to complain, cat got his tongue?

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Isabellabasil · 18/10/2021 20:35

Are you and your DP native Brits, OP? It's a totally normal and common expression in English and nothing to get worked up about at all. In fact it sounds like the teacher knows your child well, is fond of her and has a good relationship with her, from what you've said.

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MichelleScarn · 18/10/2021 20:35

Absolutely an affectionate term!

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MeatyRvita · 18/10/2021 20:35

Bloody hell what is wrong with him!! It’s clearly a flippant term and not meant in any negative way at all- in fact the opposite she was making positive comments! He needs to get a bloody grip on reality!

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Iwouldlikesomecake · 18/10/2021 20:36

It’s a colloquialism. It sounds like it was meant fondly.

If it was said in a derisory way then yes, but if it was said with kindness then it shows a liking for your DD and I think that’s a weird thing to complain about. Also I think it’s overthinking about the use of ‘little’, possibly. Your DD sounds lovely and it sounds like the teacher thinks so.

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iklboo · 18/10/2021 20:36

He's a tool.

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Cocomarine · 18/10/2021 20:36

That’s not even a clumsy phrase! It’s a perfectly normal and actually really affectionate phrase.

Your ex (and thank goodness for that!) is either not a native English speaker (which I think you’d have mentioned) or he’s a total arse.

It’s quite second that he has you second guessing enough to ask here though 😕 this should “AIBU to think my ex is a total arse?”

Loving that he even wants you to be the one to complain. Tell him to piss off!

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LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 18/10/2021 20:36

It was affectionate. Not 'Here comes the thing'. I wish all teachers would be more rounded in their feedback and not just focus on the academic.

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ThingDDUR · 18/10/2021 20:37

Both native brits, but ExH likes an excuse to complain about anything to do with the school.

OP posts:
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nomorespaghetti · 18/10/2021 20:37

It’s a very common turn of phrase! He’s being ridiculous!

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thistimelastweek · 18/10/2021 20:37

'Funny wee thing' is an expression I often use. Always with affection.

It's just an expression.

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FlamesEmbersAshes · 18/10/2021 20:37

She clearly meant it affectionately.

Your ex is being ridiculous.

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OverweightPidgeon · 18/10/2021 20:37

What the bloody hell is wrong with him ? There is absolutely nothing wrong with what the teacher said ! Christ alive , tell him not to be such a misery .

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Suprima · 18/10/2021 20:38

You ex is off his fucking rocker

Any complaint would be laughed out of the room.

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kurtney · 18/10/2021 20:39

FFS. If he wants to complain, let him and he can be that parent, but do not complain on his behalf like he's suggested. He's being an utter dick.

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Rollercoaster1920 · 18/10/2021 20:39

I appreciate teachers even more after reading this post. Your ex is nuts.

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crazyguineapiglady · 18/10/2021 20:39

Does your ex have English as an additional language?

I'd just explain to him that "funny little thing" is a common and affectionate way to refer to a child.

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