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AIBU?

Friend blocked us for paying her pay

130 replies

Lettingoffstea · 18/10/2021 16:59

Group of four friends for about four years go out for lunch every 2 weeks. We tend to go to the same place cheap and cheerful. Noticed in the last year one friend had never got any money or left her card at home. Takes money from another friend never pays it back. This friend is not strapped for cash she is always buying new clothes, cigarettes and booze for herself to drink at home. We said it is your turn to pay last time we went out. She paid but now had blocked us all. Sorry txt is so long but not sure how to deal with this any help please

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Am I being unreasonable?

1003 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
6%
You are NOT being unreasonable
94%
IneedSocks · 18/10/2021 17:00

Let her go, she was a free loader!

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AryaStarkWolf · 18/10/2021 17:01

She can't get anything from you anymore so has fucked off, no harm

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Funnylittlefloozie · 18/10/2021 17:01

Not really a problem, is it? Your scrounging friend is embarrassed that you called her out,and now she can't use you, she can't be bothered with you.

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ohthestruggles · 18/10/2021 17:01

She wasn't a friend, let that one go.

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daimbarsatemydogsbone · 18/10/2021 17:01

not sure how to deal with this any help please

eh? Are you serious?

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nimbuscloud · 18/10/2021 17:01

Be pleased she’s blocked you and carry on without her.

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Cocomarine · 18/10/2021 17:01

Are you saying in the last year (what, 12 months or 10 months of this year - similar, anyway) you have let this person get away with bullshit excuses and pisstaking 20-26x in a row? Just… why?!

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GinIronic · 18/10/2021 17:02

Block her and move on. This person is a user not a friend. She is pissed off because she’s been sussed. She will move onto another group soon and repeat her mo.

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KrisAkabusi · 18/10/2021 17:02

You don't need to deal with anything. She's blocked you all, move on.

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londonrach · 18/10/2021 17:02

Sounds like the problem be resolved if she blocked herself...just enjoy your other friends and let her go

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FleasInMyKnees · 18/10/2021 17:02

Just ignore her. She is not a friend, she has taken the piss and has been caught out. Just continue seeing the other 2.

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LonginesPrime · 18/10/2021 17:07

Does she always take the money from the same friend?

It sounds like either there has been an argument between the two of them, or she just didn't realise you'd noticed that she never pays until then, and now she's embarrassed and doesn't feel she can face you all again.

I don't think there's anything to be done - she clearly doesn't want to discuss it if she blocked you, so I think just carry on without her.

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BlueSuffragette · 18/10/2021 17:10

Move on without her. Maybe she is embarrassed that you called her out on it and she realises she can't freeload anymore. Best off without her.

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Lettingoffstea · 18/10/2021 17:18

Thank you for all the advice. Yes we have all noticed she is a free loader but to block us all without discussing it has really upset us. And yes she really has taken money from one friend on (who is on a pension) and never once offered to pay it back. We all feel used and upset but I guess we should have all noticed it earlier. Sad though because she is good company

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JustLyra · 18/10/2021 17:21

@Lettingoffstea

Thank you for all the advice. Yes we have all noticed she is a free loader but to block us all without discussing it has really upset us. And yes she really has taken money from one friend on (who is on a pension) and never once offered to pay it back. We all feel used and upset but I guess we should have all noticed it earlier. Sad though because she is good company

Work out how much she’s had from you all over the time - you’ll probably realise she’s not worth the hourly rate she was stealthily charging
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Anonymice1 · 18/10/2021 17:24

What is it you need help with? Confused

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amillionrosepetals · 18/10/2021 17:29

Well it sounds like her 'company' was a bit expensive. She's shown her true colours now. You are all better off without her.

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supersop60 · 18/10/2021 17:29

She has blocked you because she is embarrassed, although she'd probably describe it a being picked on/bullied by the rest of you.
If you want to talk to her about it, there are other ways than social media/phone.
I'd let her go - she sounds like a user.

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Feedingthebirds1 · 18/10/2021 17:31

Sad though because she is good company

And that's what she's relying on. Is she really such good company that you want to subsidise her forever?

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itsallgoingpearshaped · 18/10/2021 17:31

Sounds like she's off to find some other people to freeload off of. You're well rid. she was a user

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toocold54 · 18/10/2021 17:40

Just leave her to it. Don’t contact her and if she comes back question why she blocked you in the first place.

Honestly it sounds like you’ve dodged a bullet so be grateful she left the group without any of you telling her to.

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Cocomarine · 18/10/2021 17:40

@Lettingoffstea

Thank you for all the advice. Yes we have all noticed she is a free loader but to block us all without discussing it has really upset us. And yes she really has taken money from one friend on (who is on a pension) and never once offered to pay it back. We all feel used and upset but I guess we should have all noticed it earlier. Sad though because she is good company

Has the pensioner friend only just revealed to you all how long this one’s been freeloading?
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viques · 18/10/2021 17:40

“Advice on how to deal with this”

Call her out on it (tick)

Ignore her when she blocks you ( awaiting tick)

Enjoy your next outing with your real friends (awaiting tick)

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Anonymous48 · 18/10/2021 17:43

I don't understand what the issue is here. You're either willing to pay her way for the pleasure of her company, or you just don't go out with her.

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Lettingoffstea · 18/10/2021 17:46

Yes we have only just found out that the pensioner friend has given her money when I voiced that mean friend never pays her way. So annoyed with pensioner friend for not speaking up before.

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