To ask what it's like to not have to worry about money?

(293 Posts)
dailydreamin Sun 17-Oct-21 21:12:49

I was chatting with my dh about winning the lotto (as you do) then it got us to thinking because we don't earn much really. What is it like to just have a really good wage (like 4-5k or more per month) and have no money worries?

I would love to just go food shopping without adding in my head. I would love to just be able to see the DC's shoes are getting tight and go and buy new shoes for them without stressing about what I will have to forgo.

So what is it really like? Is it like I think? Do you just NOT think about money at all? Do you just buy as you need (obviously everyone has their limits though) without thinking?

OP’s posts: |
Nsky Sun 17-Oct-21 21:16:18

I don’t think many never worry about money, tho I’m better off than you.
No one should take it for granted, and I hope things change for you soon

PinkiOcelot Sun 17-Oct-21 21:16:31

I would love to know too. Must be lovely.
They says money doesn’t buy you happiness, but I’d sure love to find out what it was like not having to think about it.

SlB09 Sun 17-Oct-21 21:19:43

Everyone has to think about money but perhaps 'worry' is too strong a word with a good salary.
We are comfortable as in we don't have to worry about the things you've mentioned but we couldn't spend endlessly! Still have things we want/save for etc and I vow to never become blaze about money as so many literally count the pennies.
Its more comfortable but certainly doesn't equal happiness.

arethereanyleftatall Sun 17-Oct-21 21:22:32

It's nice. One less thing to worry about.

thisplaceisweird Sun 17-Oct-21 21:23:55

I feel so so lucky every time I go to the supermarket, add whatever I want and pay for it without even listening to the price. I can go out for dinner when I want, buy myself and others little treats and don't worry about what's left in my account.
It's such a privilege to not worry and I know how fortunate I am, particularly to be financially independent as my husband and I earn the same.

dailydreamin Sun 17-Oct-21 21:24:15

@SlB09 yes I suppose it one just be one less thing to worry about (albeit big thing) I would love to be able to do my shopping and ha move a treat and save a certain amount each month it would be lush.

OP’s posts: |

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Aquamarine1029 Sun 17-Oct-21 21:24:21

Not having to worry about money is definitely not just about how much money you make. Many, many people with high salaries spend far too much money and are massively in debt, so they are basically living paycheck to paycheck. Some people's supposedly perfect lives are very misleading.

I don't have money concerns and it is wonderful, I admit, but my husband and I are also very sensible and couldn't care less about "things" and having all the new, fancy stuff. I buy what I need without thinking, but it's actually stuff I need, not just want. If something isn't a necessity, I do think before I buy, even though I don't necessarily need to. I really don't like wasting money.

I remember very, very well being an absolutely skint 20-ish year old, living on my own and just trying to get through each day whilst building up my career.

JudgementalCactus Sun 17-Oct-21 21:24:46

I earn much more than I need. On an average month I probably spend 30% of my pay.

Yet I always feel anxious and guilty about spending too much or too frivolesly. I mean, it's nice to know I could lose my job tomorrow and live off saving for a couple years, but there's still a part of my brain that thinks like a poor person.

I do treat myself and I do go on holidays, but I never splurge on the fancy version of stuff. I'm always looking for a bargain, I always pick the cheapest thing that gets the job done (second hand clothes, supermarket brand food, budget hotel...)

So it's weird and I can't explain why I am the way I am in this regard. It's exhilerating to know I have the option to upgrade my life/buy those shoes/travel to that place, but it's a little anxiety inducing to actually do it.

Spud88 Sun 17-Oct-21 21:24:51

Did I write this post? Must be nice to not have to justify buying things, even those things that can be seen as essential.

blueshoes Sun 17-Oct-21 21:25:26

I have a friend who is very senior in her job with her equally senior now retired husband, no kids, mention that nowadays when she books personal holidays, which are uber luxurious affairs in exotic locations, she does not think about the cost. Bet she and her dh fly business class as well.

Not sure I can fathom that.

When dcs were little, we were scrimping along worrying about the things you list. Those were hard days.

Now that our salaries have increased with seniority, we don't think much about day-to-day expenses, other than to try to buy things which are good value but not extortionate. Think Lidl, not Waitrose. I don't add up the cost of the grocery shop, if individual items meet the value test and often don't even glance at the total shop because the head room is high.

Only bigger ticket items will make me tote up the cost. I know which items will start to push up against the limits of our monthly disposable and which hit our yearly disposable and only when it gets to that stage does it count.

We spend on things others would probably consider a waste of money, like private education.

gogohm Sun 17-Oct-21 21:26:34

We earn that but you still have to think. Outgoings are pretty high with 3 at university! I don't worry about the shop though

babybrain77 Sun 17-Oct-21 21:27:40

We don't worry about money - I know that we spend less than we earn and that there are plenty of savings put away for unexpected things. It's definitely nice - DH's car failed It's MOT this month and we had to replace the tyres. I remember thinking when they told us how crap it must be to get the news if you were tight on the budget, it's a blow.

But even without money problems, we worry about other things. Are we both getting enough time with our children, should we be dropping more days so that they have less time with the nanny, when are we going to fit in a grocery shop when we both work full time long hours. There are sacrifices being made to ensure no money worries.

prawncrackergirl Sun 17-Oct-21 21:28:56

I've been in both camps.

About 17 years ago, I was living on pennies and paying for my meagre weekly groceries (less than £15) by cheque so it wouldn't clear before I got paid.

Now, I earn a fairly decent wage (though not £4k a month!) and can shop without a budget, afford clothes when I want them, buy treats and presents without having to save beforehand. Big costs like a new car, boiler, appliance etc are covered by my savings.

I think having lived paycheque to paycheque makes me naturally more frugal. I can splurge, but I tend not to, and have to be encouraged to spend money on myself sometimes.

It's much more relaxing and fun now, to be able to say yes to things without mentally calculating whether I can afford it, or saying no, or trying to make up excuses to avoid embarrassment.

Fridafever Sun 17-Oct-21 21:29:19

I earn a lot and I do appreciate the one less thing to worry about aspect. Like if the boiler breaks it’s a pain but I don’t think about where the money will come from. I sometimes feel trapped in that I need to keep working at this level but I know that’s not the same.

Timeforabiscuit Sun 17-Oct-21 21:29:45

It's fucking wonderful.

Dh and I ground out for years, high mortgage, low wages and high childcare meant we were always just getting by. It was amazing when it all turned good, and yes it's just that you think what you would like first, rather than could you stretch to it.

Dh was main earner, now has a stage 4 brain tumour, so it has all gone spectacularly to shit, but I know how to cut my cloth, we've ground it out before and we haven't forgotten how to bulk out meals etc.

Suzi888 Sun 17-Oct-21 21:30:18

I earn a pretty good wage, I’m also not great with money tbh. I’ve gotten better with age and will only allow myself a set amount to blow.
I don’t believe anyone that says they aren’t concerned with what’s left in there account. If you safe/invest/ transfer to savings pots then you have to know what’s left wink.
DH is generous, he pays all bills, holidays etc. He’s more careful than me, he would worry about money if he had 5 billion in the bank!

Dexy007 Sun 17-Oct-21 21:30:47

I know what you mean OP. We don't worry about money now but I used to feel so frustrated walking around Asda thinking ' I don't want an Audi, Christ I don't even want a Ford Fiesta I just want to be able to stick the latest paperback and the tricolour pasta in my basket without feeling guilty while I do the shop!'

I'm not going to patronise you by pretending I would rather go back to those times but we are high earners now and it comes at a price.

Every single day, when I go to bed - even weekends - I panic and think about how I didn't do enough today and I've let my team and clients down.

My husband asks if I want to go for a hike ride or to grab a pint and I always say no because my to do list never clears.

At least I am very well paid for my stress levels - some people have the worst of both worlds with their jobs - and I wouldn't swap it, but remember no money worries often translates to a lot of worries in other areas.

dailydreamin Sun 17-Oct-21 21:31:38

@Timeforabiscuit I'm sorry to hear about your dh thanks

OP’s posts: |
HermioneWeasley Sun 17-Oct-21 21:31:42

I earn well and and live well within our means. We don’t do anything massively lavish, but it does mean we can do as you describe - do the weekly shop without adding it up (I still note the price of everything I buy though!), eat out when we want (places like wagamama, not the Ivy) and can throw money at problems to reduce stress. Our small house is rather shabby but I never have to think about can we afford to put the heating on. If we fancy something at the theatre, we book it.

It is lovely and I appreciate it greatly. I definitely don’t take it for granted.

OublietteBravo Sun 17-Oct-21 21:32:45

It’s amazing! We’ve reached the point where we just don’t run out of money. DH was made redundant last December and I knew we had enough savings to survive for at least a year without having to cut back on anything. (He’d found another job by March). I can’t just buy anything I want, but I probably have about £100 per week for discretionary spending should I feel the urge.

Porfre Sun 17-Oct-21 21:33:23

Im also a bit better off than you.

I don't need to worry about day to day things, but trying to buy a house.
So still being as frugal as we can, trying to account for every pound. Also need a new car so again, trying to save as much as we can. Doesnt really lead to a lavish lifestyle. I think if you earn more theres always more to spend it on.

PooWillyNameChange Sun 17-Oct-21 21:34:06

I've been poor but now we earn well, we take home about double the figure you mention in your OP blush

I feel grateful every time I fill the car and just have to wait until it clicks rather than watching the meter. We don't however have no worries. I worry about job loss, interest rate rises etc. I squirrel away money for us and for the kids and overpay the mortgage. I budget for food, petrol etc so I can keep a decent savings rate and make sure we have a retirement.

I think you'd have to be pretty rich to never think about it. I never lie awake at night worrying about money but I don't feel like I'm free of the constraints of a fixed income.

Cocomarine Sun 17-Oct-21 21:35:24

I am in the position you describe, and I have been in your position too - not going to a supermarket till without knowing exactly how much it would come to.

It’s lovely. And I still feel lucky and privileged about it. Not every time I spend, or every day… but I’d say at least once a week I have a moment where I “notice” and feel lucky.
So I suppose, I do still think about money a lot - but not in a way that makes me stressed (though sometimes there’s an undercurrent of “I’m lucky, please don’t change”)

I think there’s a personality element too. My husband earns much less than me, and I simply more “happy go lucky”, I guess. Always believes things will work out. So although he’s never been on the bones of his arse, compare the two of us on the same counting the pennies wage, and I’d be thinking about it constantly whilst he’d be all “it is what it is”.

I have more money than him, but I also have “the fear” of losing it more than him. I have healthy savings. When I was under threat of redundancy, he would say - “don’t worry, you have savings” - but I would say, “and what about when they run out?”

So yeah… it’s a wonderful position to be in, but I still would say that I don’t know what it is to worry any more. I’m not saying “woe is me” for that - just trying to answer the question about how it feels for me.

I hope you get there too x

BurntO Sun 17-Oct-21 21:37:45

You’ll find many people with higher wages have higher outgoings. So 4-5k a month might have you trouble free with your current mortgage/rent and car costs etc however if you actually earned that much you would probably have more financial demands. I have very wealthy family but they still have to plan. High mortgages and private school fees, private health care and much more. Of course they could cut it all out but don’t we all cut our cloth accordingly.

It’s only the super rich I feel have no trouble at all

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