To be infuriated by worn out mum neighbour

(215 Posts)
humanvulture Thu 14-Oct-21 19:49:15

Driving a clapped out 17 year old Volkswagen polo with her three infant/ toddlers in tow ... all day long... while Dad drives a new huge BMW SUV x5 , 2 miles to work everyday and back because he has a BIG job.
Drives me nuts , yet not My business. Only that she is an SAHM and is perpetually exhausted and run ragged.

OP’s posts: |
SuperCaliFragalistic Thu 14-Oct-21 19:53:03

Maybe he drives a company car? That was the case in my family when I was a child.

humanvulture Thu 14-Oct-21 19:54:11

No! He was quick to show us his new' baby' when he bought it at the beginning of the year.

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Comedycook Thu 14-Oct-21 19:54:55

When we were kids, my dad drove the crappy car to the station for work and my mum drove his nice company car.

CatFaceCats Thu 14-Oct-21 19:56:14

I always had the older car - didn’t want to worry about looking after my 10 year old one when it was full of toddlers and snacks. Didn’t care if I scuffed a wheel or it was dirty.
Didn’t need another thing in my life to keep nice grin

Ughmaybenot Thu 14-Oct-21 19:57:03

Maybe she likes her old car, maybe it’s nice to drive, maybe it’s good for the kids because getting shitty isn’t a concern.. honestly, you’re giving this too much headspace I think!

FluffyWhiteBird Thu 14-Oct-21 19:57:11

It's her marriage. If she's willing to stay in it that's her business. He sounds like a proper wanker. All you can do is be her friend and be there to help pick up the pieces if one day she decides she's had enough.


SuperCaliFragalistic Thu 14-Oct-21 19:57:18


When we were kids, my dad drove the crappy car to the station for work and my mum drove his nice company car.

That's lovely but the company don't provide a car for that reason. My dad's company car was so he had reliable transport and could work odd hours if needed and to maintain the image of the firm when he attended meetings elsewhere.

Flaunch Thu 14-Oct-21 19:57:26

Oh YANBU at all!

ToughLoveLDN Thu 14-Oct-21 19:57:53

How do you know that its not her choice to drive that car? Why would you waste money on a nice card hen the kids are just going to mess it up

SusannaOwens Thu 14-Oct-21 19:59:59

I know lots of women who just want a "little runaround", who claim they wouldn't manage a big car and who let their husbands choose their car, because it's just something that gets them from A to B - can't get my head round that myself.
I wouldn't assume that it's not a company car just because he's chosen and bought it. We took the car allowance and chose and bought our own car, but the caveat was it had to be in keeping with his role.
Or then again he could just be a dickhead...

humanvulture Thu 14-Oct-21 20:01:01

I know
Because she whinges about the car. Thought this sexist bullshit was petering out a little.

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SuperCaliFragalistic Thu 14-Oct-21 20:01:22

Maybe she wanted to be a SAHM and decided to cut back elsewhere? Maybe she likes her old car. Maybe she has spent her share of family money on something else. I actually really hate it when people take one look at someone elses life and decide its shit or that they're being taken advantage of. She might be very happy with her life.

Cattitudes Thu 14-Oct-21 20:02:10

Why are you infuriated with her? If she is driving it because her husband won't pay money for a better car then surely be infuriated with him. If she is driving it because it is the right size for her, she doesn't want to be in a bigger car and she doesn't want a massive fuel guzzling car then why is it your business? We have a big car and a little car, we take the appropriate one for the journey.

ApolloandDaphne Thu 14-Oct-21 20:02:16

I used to love my little old car that I took the kids around in. I didn't have to worry about mud and mess and it was easy to park. DH was welcome to his big fancy car.

wishingitwasfriday Thu 14-Oct-21 20:04:44


I know
Because she whinges about the car. Thought this sexist bullshit was petering out a little.

Why is it sexist bullshit?

humanvulture Thu 14-Oct-21 20:05:17

Not infuriated with her , I'm infuriated for her. She is an absolute walkover for him
Generally anyway so this is just another thing..

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TheAntiGardener Thu 14-Oct-21 20:12:42

Could well be a company car. Talking about buying it could be a slip of the tongue or deliberately making out he owns it when he doesn’t. He may simply be referring to getting his mitts on a new car.

He may or may not be able to swap with his partner if it is a company car. If it’s just a benefit that would be fine. If it has been assigned as part of his role it could be a problem if he isn’t actually driving it. Insurance could be part of it. So not sure I could condemn him on the facts given here.

Toottooot Thu 14-Oct-21 20:13:15

Maybe she doesn’t want to drive it? My husband has a very funcy car but when he’s away for weeks on end it lives in the garage as I’m happy driving my little Vauxhall.

Viviennemary Thu 14-Oct-21 20:16:19

His might be a company car. Save your sympathy for somebody else. A lot of folk prefer small cars. Ease of parking and so on. Who wants to drive a bus.

CornishTiger Thu 14-Oct-21 20:19:48

It sounds like this is about a lot more than a car.

Booksandwine80 Thu 14-Oct-21 20:23:55

He hasn’t “bought it” though has he? It’s on finance hmm

ChateauxNeufDePoop Thu 14-Oct-21 20:31:23


I know
Because she whinges about the car. Thought this sexist bullshit was petering out a little.

Noting sexist about it.

DuckonaBike Thu 14-Oct-21 20:33:43

I’d be more disturbed that someone who lives only 2 miles from their work is driving in every day. Could you tell him about climate change, and suggest he walks or gets a bike?

If that doesn’t bother him you could warn him he might turn into a fat bastard.

MrzClaus Thu 14-Oct-21 20:41:40

I don't understand the amount of energy you've put into this situation that has no impact on you? You seem rather angry about it!

We have an X5 (until the new car arrives - can't wait!) and it's a bloody tank to drive. They're large, awkward to park sometimes in smaller car parks and not really a nip about car. Perhaps she prefers driving a smaller car? Perhaps the kids make the other one too dirty? Perhaps he wants to drive a nice car to work that he pays for? No matter what the reason it's absolutely none of your business - and realistically you don't know what's going on behind closed doors, she might moan about it then be happy at home because she doesn't actually want to drive it?

Also "sexist bullshit"?! Man who has jobs pays for and drives nice car, supports SAHM financially with a runaround that suits her purposes....

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