To give away SDs pet?

[turtletaub]

SD (12 years old) has a tortoise that she begged for 1 or 2 years ago and no longer looks after despite the constant nagging to feed it, give fresh water, bathe it. It's hardly a high maintenance pet, and everyday I am the one making sure it's ok. She's not interested. It would simply die if I stopped looking after it.
My partner agrees that we should rehome it, but it's sure to cause some huge devastation (she's almost 12). I think it's the right thing to do though. It's not without warning - we have said we will rehome it previously if doesn't take care of it and hasn't given it water for 2 weeks. Am I being the cruel step mum?

[WellLarDeDar]

Your partner should give it away, not you!

[turtletaub]

Fair point, you're right!

[Brollywasntneededafterall]

Do you like it? Rename it and claim rights...

[WellLarDeDar]

Definitely his responsibility to take the lead on it! :) (I also don't think it's a cruel thing to do if she's not looking after the poor tortoise)

[Brollywasntneededafterall]

Not sure tortoise needs a lead tbh!!
We as a family have wanted one for about 20 years op.!! Happy to offer up a new home!!

[turtletaub]

Yeah, I feel like it's crueler to the tortoise to leave it not being cared for properly. I'll make sure he takes responsibility for the decision, but I'll need to arrange the new home - he's no better than her when it comes to actually doing anything...

[Branleuse]

Id just keep it. Easy pet to look after and saves massive potential drama.
You shouldnt have got an animal that you didnt want to look after.

[PurpleDaisies]

Give her one more chance. Give a really specific instruction list to follow and review it after a specific time.

This is pretty common with all children. It wasn’t very wise to get a pet you didn’t really want.

[Dinoroaraus]

@Branleuse

Id just keep it. Easy pet to look after and saves massive potential drama.
You shouldnt have got an animal that you didnt want to look after.

I think SD's dad should have had the decision here. It's not fair to leave looking after his daughter's pet to OP. He should have thought about if he could look after it if SD lost interest.

[AnneLovesGilbert]

Why isn’t DP either making her care for it or doing it himself? Would he really rather rehome it than step up?

Expecting a 10 year old to take responsibility for a pet without constant reminders was very foolish but that’s what he did and it’s his kid, her pet and on him to resolve it.

[ittakes2]

I would find someone to agree to look after it for two weeks and see if she misses it - and if she doesn't talk to her about rehoming and if she does say she must look after it or it gets rehomed. Make it her choice.

[turtletaub]

Ok, cool.
Thanks for the constructive replies.
To those scolding me for getting a pet I didn't want, it wasn't my decision, and whilst by all means say I'm clearly a shit parent for allowing it to happen, I'm not going to be a shit human and give an animal a subpar life because of it.
Ta.

[HunkyPunk]

I wouldn’t just give it away. How will you ensure it’s going to a responsible owner? Contact the Tortoise Protection Group, a tortoise welfare organisation which operates a re-homing scheme, if that’s what you decide to do.

[BingeOnChocolate]

I'd probably give the warning once more then once she doesn't look after it again, take it to another family members for a few days. It will shock her into either realising she needs to look after it or show you she doesn't care so it then can be rehomed with little upset.

[AlmostAJillSandwich]

@Limejuiceandrum you'd let an animal starve/dehydrate to death, to prove a point?! I seriously hope you aren't responsible for any pets.....

[Shitapillar]

@turtletaub

Yeah, I feel like it's crueler to the tortoise to leave it not being cared for properly. I'll make sure he takes responsibility for the decision, but I'll need to arrange the new home - he's no better than her when it comes to actually doing anything...

Maybe you should rehome him too.

[whynotwhatknot]

My dad gave away my cat because i didnt brush him enough-he just wanted rid o think

never forgave him for that

[BurntO]

I would leave it 1000% for OH to deal with. I don’t think you’re wrong for wanting to rehome it but you will be an easy target for your SC here. Stay out of it and support your OH behind the scenes IMO.

[trumpisagit]

Do you like it? Turn it in to your/family pet.

[Limejuiceandrum]

It was an actual joke. Not funny. That’s the point!!!
The other people in your life give NO FUCKS if that animal dies, and you’re the only mother fucker who cares if it stays alive.

They don’t even realise it.

Maybe just tell them it died, see what happens

[PurpleDaisies]

@Limejuiceandrum

It was an actual joke. Not funny. That’s the point!!!
The other people in your life give NO FUCKS if that animal dies, and you’re the only mother fucker who cares if it stays alive.

They don’t even realise it.

Maybe just tell them it died, see what happens

Sorry, what’s the joke? I don’t get it.