To give away SDs pet?

(142 Posts)
turtletaub Sun 26-Sep-21 21:51:28

SD (12 years old) has a tortoise that she begged for 1 or 2 years ago and no longer looks after despite the constant nagging to feed it, give fresh water, bathe it. It's hardly a high maintenance pet, and everyday I am the one making sure it's ok. She's not interested. It would simply die if I stopped looking after it.
My partner agrees that we should rehome it, but it's sure to cause some huge devastation (she's almost 12). I think it's the right thing to do though. It's not without warning - we have said we will rehome it previously if doesn't take care of it and hasn't given it water for 2 weeks. Am I being the cruel step mum?

OP’s posts: |
WellLarDeDar Sun 26-Sep-21 21:54:01

Your partner should give it away, not you!

turtletaub Sun 26-Sep-21 22:00:45

Fair point, you're right!

OP’s posts: |
Brollywasntneededafterall Sun 26-Sep-21 22:03:53

Do you like it? Rename it and claim rights...

WellLarDeDar Sun 26-Sep-21 22:04:42

Definitely his responsibility to take the lead on it! smile (I also don't think it's a cruel thing to do if she's not looking after the poor tortoise)

Brollywasntneededafterall Sun 26-Sep-21 22:06:45

Not sure tortoise needs a lead tbh!!
We as a family have wanted one for about 20 years op.!! Happy to offer up a new home!!

turtletaub Sun 26-Sep-21 22:07:37

Yeah, I feel like it's crueler to the tortoise to leave it not being cared for properly. I'll make sure he takes responsibility for the decision, but I'll need to arrange the new home - he's no better than her when it comes to actually doing anything...

OP’s posts: |

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Branleuse Sun 26-Sep-21 22:08:17

Id just keep it. Easy pet to look after and saves massive potential drama.
You shouldnt have got an animal that you didnt want to look after.

PurpleDaisies Sun 26-Sep-21 22:10:05

Give her one more chance. Give a really specific instruction list to follow and review it after a specific time.

This is pretty common with all children. It wasn’t very wise to get a pet you didn’t really want.

Dinoroaraus Sun 26-Sep-21 22:12:42

Branleuse

Id just keep it. Easy pet to look after and saves massive potential drama.
You shouldnt have got an animal that you didnt want to look after.

I think SD's dad should have had the decision here. It's not fair to leave looking after his daughter's pet to OP. He should have thought about if he could look after it if SD lost interest.

Limejuiceandrum Sun 26-Sep-21 22:12:51

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AnneLovesGilbert Sun 26-Sep-21 22:13:49

Why isn’t DP either making her care for it or doing it himself? Would he really rather rehome it than step up?

Expecting a 10 year old to take responsibility for a pet without constant reminders was very foolish but that’s what he did and it’s his kid, her pet and on him to resolve it.

PurpleDaisies Sun 26-Sep-21 22:14:31

Message deleted by MNHQ for repeating a deleted post.

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 26-Sep-21 22:14:50

Message deleted by MNHQ for repeating a deleted post.

ittakes2 Sun 26-Sep-21 22:16:25

I would find someone to agree to look after it for two weeks and see if she misses it - and if she doesn't talk to her about rehoming and if she does say she must look after it or it gets rehomed. Make it her choice.

turtletaub Sun 26-Sep-21 22:16:37

Ok, cool.
Thanks for the constructive replies.
To those scolding me for getting a pet I didn't want, it wasn't my decision, and whilst by all means say I'm clearly a shit parent for allowing it to happen, I'm not going to be a shit human and give an animal a subpar life because of it.
Ta.

OP’s posts: |
LikeACatInTheDark Sun 26-Sep-21 22:16:53

Message deleted by MNHQ for repeating a deleted post.

HunkyPunk Sun 26-Sep-21 22:16:56

I wouldn’t just give it away. How will you ensure it’s going to a responsible owner? Contact the Tortoise Protection Group, a tortoise welfare organisation which operates a re-homing scheme, if that’s what you decide to do.

BingeOnChocolate Sun 26-Sep-21 22:16:58

I'd probably give the warning once more then once she doesn't look after it again, take it to another family members for a few days. It will shock her into either realising she needs to look after it or show you she doesn't care so it then can be rehomed with little upset.

AlmostAJillSandwich Sun 26-Sep-21 22:17:16

@Limejuiceandrum you'd let an animal starve/dehydrate to death, to prove a point?! I seriously hope you aren't responsible for any pets.....

Shitapillar Sun 26-Sep-21 22:17:22

turtletaub

Yeah, I feel like it's crueler to the tortoise to leave it not being cared for properly. I'll make sure he takes responsibility for the decision, but I'll need to arrange the new home - he's no better than her when it comes to actually doing anything...

Maybe you should rehome him too.

whynotwhatknot Sun 26-Sep-21 22:17:23

My dad gave away my cat because i didnt brush him enough-he just wanted rid o think

never forgave him for that

BurntO Sun 26-Sep-21 22:17:34

I would leave it 1000% for OH to deal with. I don’t think you’re wrong for wanting to rehome it but you will be an easy target for your SC here. Stay out of it and support your OH behind the scenes IMO.

trumpisagit Sun 26-Sep-21 22:18:39

Do you like it? Turn it in to your/family pet.

Limejuiceandrum Sun 26-Sep-21 22:18:41

It was an actual joke. Not funny. That’s the point!!!
The other people in your life give NO FUCKS if that animal dies, and you’re the only mother fucker who cares if it stays alive.

They don’t even realise it.

Maybe just tell them it died, see what happens

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