Page 10 | To not understand how children bring anyone joy?

(240 Posts)
Bluerainbow86 Sun 26-Sep-21 10:26:23

I know, I know, no other love like it. But that’s not especially positive is it? Because it just leads to worry and stress.
One of my children has additional needs, which likely doesn’t help, but how does anyone ever enjoy anything with their children?
The only way I can see it is possible is if you have one child, NT, hands on partner, plenty of cash.

No other situation seems to lend itself to anything particularly positive.

OP’s posts: |
twinklytightrope Fri 01-Oct-21 12:45:40

I think it's you who needs therapy op. I can understand it's difficult but I was dc1 in your scenario. I'll never be the darling wonderful dc my nt sister is and my mother made that so so clear right into adulthood.

My mother's attitude towards me was very evident and when you're not nt you're never going to express the hurt of your mother not liking you and comparing you to someone who is in an nt way, no matter how much you want to blame your dc for not being nt enough. I think you maybe be accidentally damaging your dc 1 because you're finding it difficult. It may be worth setting out some time aside to spend with dc1 and dc2 separately without mentioning the each other so they both feel better.

WetSausageRoll Fri 01-Oct-21 13:21:29

I love my daughter but I haven’t been happy since she was born. I find every day life hard, I dread waking up. Everything is hard. I’m not NT so I think that’s a lot to do with it, parenthood is the thing that pushed me over the edge.

Embracelife Fri 01-Oct-21 13:23:31

WetSausageRoll

I love my daughter but I haven’t been happy since she was born. I find every day life hard, I dread waking up. Everything is hard. I’m not NT so I think that’s a lot to do with it, parenthood is the thing that pushed me over the edge.

Please,see someone for counselling

WetSausageRoll Fri 01-Oct-21 13:26:01

I have, the counselling provided on the NHS is laughably shit. I take Sertraline and that takes the edge off.

esloquehay Fri 01-Oct-21 13:29:05

I'm so sorry you are finding it tough.
I find parenting really difficult/challenging. I'm a solo parent to 2 under 4, both possibly ND. I have sod all money apart from basics.
It's unrealistic to feel continuous joy, both any moments of what might be termed 'joy' are to do with them.
So, it's a slog, there's some really crappy aspects, but in a world full of choices, I'd always choose them.

Coffeepants Fri 01-Oct-21 15:11:14

It’s obviously hard to comment on something you have no experience of?

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GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing Fri 01-Oct-21 15:13:37

Lots of joy but obviously hard work too!

I find the joy increases as they get older moms!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing Fri 01-Oct-21 15:13:51

*Mind, not moms

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing Fri 01-Oct-21 15:16:08

I found more so when I was little, the lack of being physically a separate being hard, and the need to always be mentally present and not “switch off” tricky.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing Fri 01-Oct-21 15:16:25

When they were little, not when I was!

Coffeepants Fri 01-Oct-21 15:16:55

Yip he sounds like an idiot. Imagine his children hearing him say that one day.

Coffeepants Fri 01-Oct-21 15:17:59

To you they are more enjoyable, that doesn’t discount the experience of people who find their children enjoyable despite the challenges.

PeriChristmas Fri 01-Oct-21 19:07:54

WetSausageRoll

I love my daughter but I haven’t been happy since she was born. I find every day life hard, I dread waking up. Everything is hard. I’m not NT so I think that’s a lot to do with it, parenthood is the thing that pushed me over the edge.


What is NT?

Echobelly Fri 01-Oct-21 19:12:37

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time, OP - I'm not surprised YABU!

But even with fewer challenges, the joy is in the moments rather than the long slog, but I can totally see that in OP's position, the slog is totally overshadowing everything else.

I think if it helps, things will change, they will go in stages and it'll get to a point where things aren't as hard.

LizzieW1969 Fri 01-Oct-21 19:34:31

@PeriChristmas

NT means neuro typical, as opposed to neuro diverse (ND).

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