Near drowning

[aibuprofile]

My daughter was taking part in a swim lesson with school last week. During this lesson she panicked in 2m deep water and the swim teacher tried to throw life saving aids to her but she was going under and could not grab them. The lifeguard sounded the alarm and dived in and pulled her out. She was ok.
But... I was not told about this until the end of the school day. When I was told it was in a very casual way and a brief version of events given. This version does NOT match those of several other children there or indeed my own daughters (who is very sensible and not dramatic).

I am angry that I was not at least called. I'm angry that when I phoned the school to discuss (took a few moments for it to sink in when I was told in person, by which time the teacher had walked off) I was fobbed off and told she did not nearly drown and that her head only went under water for a brief moment.

AIBU to be angry with the school for the lack of communication and would I be unreasonable to go over to the swimming pool and ask for their version of events?

[Saladovercrispsanyday]

She didn’t almost drown
She panicked in the water during a swimming lesson and needed a life guard to get her safely to the side

Yes the school should have told you

But don’t go in there all guns blazing. Just ask to have an appointment with them urgently to discuss

How old is your child

[HunkyPunk]

No, you would not be unreasonable. The pool must have an incident log, which, as the parent, I would have thought you had a right to access? How frightening. Hope you get some answers.

[aibuprofile]

She was pulled out and gasping for breath and had swallowed a lot of water.
She is 8.

[Macncheeseballs]

I'd be thankful she'd been saved

[HarrietsChariot]

I can understand you being upset but to be fair I'd trust the official version of events over those of other children.

It doesn't sound like too big of a deal, she got into trouble and the lifeguards got her out of it. Assuming she didn't need mouth-to-mouth or anything, it sounds like the system worked?

[iamtheoneandonlyyy]

I'm sure OP is grateful her child was saved 🙄
At first I thought non event but actually if this was my child I would want to be told at the time

[Saladovercrispsanyday]

You absolutely should have been told

Risk of delayed drowning death

[SpnBaby1967]

@aibuprofile

She was pulled out and gasping for breath and had swallowed a lot of water.
She is 8.

If she was pulled out gasping for breathe and ingested water I imagine an ambulance would need to be called surely? Is there the risk of secondary drowning with this kind of scenario?

[HunkyPunk]

I'd trust the official version of events over those of other children.

The official version of events would be from the lifeguard at the pool, surely?

[SpnBaby1967]

• breath dammit. MN needs an edit function

[Itsbeen84yearss]

Could it be that seeing a lifeguard go in has made the whole incident seem more dramatic to your dd and the children?
What time did the incident happen? Is it possible that they needed to focus on getting the children changed and back to school safely rather than calling you?

[Saladovercrispsanyday]

Get in contact with leisure centre
They would have recorded the event fully

[aibuprofile]

Yes I am of course very grateful that the lifeguard did his job.

What I'm not happy about is her being in water that is 2m deep when she can't swim, that there was no swim teacher actually in the pool and that schools version of events literally makes no sense at all and the school did not phone me straight away.

[aibuprofile]

It happened at 10am. I was not told until 4pm.

I am angry but I am not going to 'kick off' I would just like to know the facts of what happened.

[LizzieAnt]

They should have called you when it happened OP. It would have have given you the opportunity to take her for medical attention, which would have been sensible as you say she'd swallowed a lot of water (and was probably in shock).

[MatildaTheCat]

Secondary drowning is real but not that well known. If she went under and took in water then it would have been responsible for the school to contact you and advise you to get medical advice.

[Babdoc]

Why was an 8 year old non- or weak- swimmer in 2m deep water in the first place? That seems poor judgment by the teacher. My own school, back in the day, kept non swimmers and beginners in the shallow learners pool. We weren’t allowed in the deep end of the main pool until we were swimming distances confidently.
I would certainly ask the pool staff for their version, OP.

[Itsbeen84yearss]

@aibuprofile

Yes I am of course very grateful that the lifeguard did his job.

What I'm not happy about is her being in water that is 2m deep when she can't swim, that there was no swim teacher actually in the pool and that schools version of events literally makes no sense at all and the school did not phone me straight away.

Ye children shouldn’t be in the deep end if they can’t swim. Agree with you there. Did you communicate that she couldn’t swim to them before she went? Even if you didn’t they should know that many children are behind with swimming due to the pandemic and someone should have been in with them

[Mayhemmumma]

I would be angry too because I imagine your child was upset and frightened and you should have been told irrespective of whether it was life threatening.

[Lolalovesmarmite]

This happened to me as a child in a school swimming lesson. I was struggling for what felt like a very long time before they noticed, although in reality probably wasn’t that long at all. It’s entirely possible that both versions are ‘true’ - it would have felt much longer for your daughter than it seemed to the lifeguard. It also left me with a lifelong fear of swimming. I can swim but I hate going in the water and I absolutely will not put my head under ever.

[queenMab99]

Children should not be out of their depth if they are not confident swimmers. I had swimming lessons in the 50s aged 7 or 8, and can still remember it as a traumatic experience even though I never had to be rescued by a life guard, I was always on the end of a rope, being dragged to safety by my swimming teacher, when I invariably sank I did eventually learn to swim, but have never been happy in swimming baths since!

[Justyouwaitandseeagain]

I don’t think you are being unreasonable. Swallowing a lot of water can still be dangerous and even if she is ok physically it still sounds like a very distressing experience.

Why did the swim teacher not go in? The fact there was a failed attempt to throw life aids before the lifeguard rescue indicates how long this must have felt to your daughter in the water.

I was swimming in a hotel pool with a friend in our late teens (around 17) she couldn’t swim as well as the rest of us so stayed in the shallow end. Accidentally - and unbeknown to us - she got out of her depth and began to panic. She was so scared she couldn’t shout for help or show her distress. Eventually we realised something was wrong, swam across and got her out. To anyone else it seemed relatively minor but she was absolutely petrified and that experience has stayed with her.

Yes these things happen but I think the school are unreasonable for down playing what happened.

How is your daughter feeling about going back to lessons? Do you feel more support will be needed?

[OngoingTrauma]

Don't make a big deal of this in front of your daughter though. Don't put her off swimming for life.

[discombobulatedonion]

@HarrietsChariot

I can understand you being upset but to be fair I'd trust the official version of events over those of other children.

It doesn't sound like too big of a deal, she got into trouble and the lifeguards got her out of it. Assuming she didn't need mouth-to-mouth or anything, it sounds like the system worked?

@HarrietsChariot

I certainly wouldn’t trust the word of “officials” over my child and other children. With all due respect, sometimes “officials” do downplay things to cover their own back.

[HunkyPunk]

Could it be that seeing a lifeguard go in has made the whole incident seem more dramatic to your dd and the children?

Tbf, having to be saved by a lifeguard during a ‘supervised’ school swimming lesson is pretty dramatic. And somewhat concerning…