Partner violent when sugars are low.

(391 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Badlytornfrube Mon 20-Sep-21 16:19:53

My good friend has recently had a baby with her partner. He is a type 1 diabetic and has had trouble stabilising his sugars since a recent injury.

He has very verbally aggressive and has pushed her. Two weeks ago he bit her on the arm. Each time he has blamed it on a sugar low and has gone to the GP to ask for help with this. My friend thinks this is not a reason to leave and not his fault because of the sugars. He has never been violent towards his kids from a previous relationship or the new baby.

I think the blood sugar excuse is bollocks and she should run for the hills. The fact he has never hurt the kids proves he can control himself. She is financially fine and has a flat to go to.
Has anyone had any experience of low sugar causing violence? Is he responsible? Should she leave?

YABU not his fault
YANBU she should leave

OP’s posts: |
pelosi Mon 20-Sep-21 16:20:48

YANBU. It’s bollocks.

Shoxfordian Mon 20-Sep-21 16:21:05

Of course she should leave but until she realises this then she won’t

HollowTalk Mon 20-Sep-21 16:21:46

Of course she should leave. It's an insult to people who do suffer from this problem to suggest they are violent and bite people FFS!

TooBigForMyBoots Mon 20-Sep-21 16:23:58

Yes low blood sugar can cause diabetics to become aggressive. He really needs to sort this with his doctor.

Alonelonelylonersbadidea Mon 20-Sep-21 16:23:59

Wow what a pile of utter shit.

I've known a number of diabetics and none is prone to verbal abuse or biting or any kind of shitty behaviour which they then blame on low blood sugar. What an ASSHOLE.

Show your friend this thread. Hopefully she leaves this 'man'.

DressBitch Mon 20-Sep-21 16:24:12

My family is plagued with diabetes. Not once has anyone been violent.


Badlytornfrube Mon 20-Sep-21 16:24:19

3 people have voted that I am being unreasonable. Please tell me why. I do not know much about type 1 diabetes.

OP’s posts: |
Annoyedanddissapointed Mon 20-Sep-21 16:25:17

While mood can be affected (father was grumpy) it's bullshit and he just found an excuse as an abuser

Shehasadiamondinthesky Mon 20-Sep-21 16:25:20

Funny how none of the type 1 diabetics I work with everyday have never assaulted me!!!!!

ImprobablePuffin Mon 20-Sep-21 16:25:31

Well that's an excuse I've not heard before.
A++ for inginuity

Thebookswereherfriends Mon 20-Sep-21 16:25:34

She should ask him to leave until he has got his blood sugars under control properly and she is no longer in danger from him. If he thinks that’s unreasonable then it shows it’s just an excuse and she should leave him.

MrsFin Mon 20-Sep-21 16:26:08

Aquamarine1029 Mon 20-Sep-21 16:26:11

Her partner is gaslighting her. She needs to run for the hills before her seriously injures or worse.

Allllchange Mon 20-Sep-21 16:26:15

Low sugar can cause diabetics to become aggressive. It's really positive he has been to the gp to ask for help. I guess I'm wondering whether it was low sugar (did your friend see evidence?) or whether it is domestic abuse. Either way it isn't acceptable for it to happen again. If she stays there needs to be a really clear plan to keep your friend safe. Can he monitor his levels more? What are the warning signs it is getting low as he needs to respond to this sooner? Is he eligible for a monitor and pump to regulate his levels more. It would be beneficial if he were to stay elsewhere until his levels are better controlled if it is due to his diabetes. If domestic abuse and he didn't have low sugar she needs to separate from him.

Aquamarine1029 Mon 20-Sep-21 16:26:35

*he seriously injures her

Badlytornfrube Mon 20-Sep-21 16:28:11

@Allllchange the doctor gave him a monitor to wear after he bit her.

OP’s posts: |
SpittinKitten Mon 20-Sep-21 16:28:25

It's not impossible

Effect of Hypos on Relationships

Bizarre or violent reactions to hypoglycemia

"Hypoglycemia causes the brain to lack the sugar it needs to operate at 100% which can lead to diminished inhibitions.

Hypoglycemia may greatly increase your emotional response which can make you exceptionally happy, silly, worried, frightened, paranoid or angry. The effect can be strikingly similar to a person who is drunk.

Even people who are widely considered to be pleasant and peaceful can experience dramatic changes of character as a result of hypoglycemia. It is relatively common for people suffering from particularly low blood sugar to become violent and people who know you may be very surprised by such a Jekyll and Hyde-like behaviour.

Even though you may feel it wasn’t your fault, or even that it wasn’t your real self, be careful not to present hypoglycemia as an excuse.

Even the most saintly person will struggle to repeatedly deal with violent or irrational behaviour.

Whilst it may feel unfair to you to apologise for actions you may not have felt you had control of, be aware that your friend, partner or family member will also have a right to feel that it is unfair that they have been through an unpleasant situation.

They may feel shock and react against your reaction themselves. Recognise that they have a reason to be worried, even frightened, and help to reassure them.

Make a concerted effort to improve your blood sugar control. Bizarre reactions to hypoglycemia are commonly a result of a loss of hypo awareness.

You can find more information on regaining hypo awareness by reading our hypo unawareness guide."

Seesawmummadaw Mon 20-Sep-21 16:29:21

Yes it can affect your mood but the fact that he only does it to her and not the children or a stranger in the street means he has some control over it!
Great that he’s seeking help but how much violence will she put up with until he’s stable.
Maybe he needs to go until it’s sorted to keep her safe.

TinnedPotatoesRock Mon 20-Sep-21 16:29:28

My ex of 15 years was type 1 diabetic, a few family members are - none of them have ever been violent

Wildheartsease Mon 20-Sep-21 16:29:33

Low blood sugar might make you feel angry/upset/irritable... but it doesn't make you act on those feelings. (Hence he has not attacked anyone at work or on the street or his children.)

Allllchange Mon 20-Sep-21 16:29:40

Is it helping?

FourTeaFallOut Mon 20-Sep-21 16:29:43

Even giving him the benefit of the doubt, and this violent behaviour is being caused by his blood sugars, you'd think he'd want to leave the home until he was back on top of his condition and he wasn't a violent liability in the home and hurting the people he loves, right?

SpittinKitten Mon 20-Sep-21 16:31:21

Yep, I'd be asking him to leave at least until he got his glucose levels under control.

Allllchange Mon 20-Sep-21 16:32:46

I think the complicating factor in working out what is really going on is the recent injury (has it affected his diabetes, did he get a brain injury which affected behaviour?) And that they have recently had a baby which is a high risk time for domestic abuse to start. Really the GP had a duty to report it to social services so someone is monitoring the situation and the safety of the child.

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