To tell you that the ick does not exist

[Theickdoesnotexist]

You might have fallen out of love with someone you’ve been with ages.

Or gone off sex because you’re peri menopausal or have young DCs or are just tired.

Or gone off someone you’re dating

Or changed your mind

All these are fine

But the ICK - why is this being banded about like it’s an established Thing?

[funnyoldonion]

The "Ick" is beyond all rational reasoning...

[Theickdoesnotexist]

That is because the ick does not exist.

[Thehogfatherstolemycurry]

What is the ick?

[Queenoftheashes]

The ick exists

[LordEmsworth]

"I have not experienced it, therefore it does not exist" - is that what you're saying? No-one is allowed a different life experience than you have had?

[Notimeforaname]

Oh it does for me. Its happened twice.

[SunnyLeaf]

Oh chill out, who cares what people calls it?

[NotRainingToday]

OP, all the things you say are rational.
The ICK is not rational - it's literally shorthand for irrationally going off someone.
For example, someone who has wet lips, even though they probably always did. But the minute you notice it and find it gross - that's the ICK.

[HereForThis]

Yanbu but this is going to go down like a lead balloon on mn, where we need to have "the ick" as a reason/excuse/justification (take your pick) of anything we want.

Don't you dare rain on our parade!

[AttaGirrrrl]

It definitely exists. Do you not believe in things you’ve not experienced yourself?

[Laladell]

I feel the ick is just a description for something you don't like or aren't keen on.

"The way he was eating was giving me the ick" aka I didnt like his noisy eating 😂

[PugInTheHouse]

I disagree, in the past there have honestly been moments where seconds before I have really liked/fancied someone and they have said or done something and it's like a switch turning on (or off). That is the ick, why is it an issue to have a name for it?

There is also something the other way round, I have known people that I haven't fancied at all and something has instantly made me change my mind.

[Theickdoesnotexist]

The ick is apparently

“ "The ick" was first coined by Ally in TV show Ally McBeal, and, as dating expert Hayley Quinn explains, "It's a dating term that means you get a sudden cringe feeling when you have romantic contact with someone: and become almost immediately put off by them." You might feel suddenly repulsed, put off or cringed out by the person you're dating - that's "the ick" talking.”

What I’m saying is that someone saying ‘we have been married twenty years, have three young children and he does nothing. I have the ick.’

That’s not the ick that’s a lazy bastard husband.

Or it might be (if a nice husband) the menopause or whatever.

It’s not a phrase that belongs with marriages and long term partnerships with kids and it’s weird the way it’s being used as if it is.

[AnonymousAuroch]

The term exists because it perfectly captures the skin-crawling revulsion you feel towards someone you were previously sexually attracted to. It's not at all the same sensation as simply falling out of love with someone or just not wanting sex -- it captures the "ickiness" you feel when being touched by, or thinking about being touched by, someone.

If you haven't experienced the ick, great. But many of us have, and it's a real thing.

[Henio]

I think its a thing but I hate the term 'the ICK', it always seems really childish when people say it on here imo

[BlueberrySugar]

Just because it doesn't exist to you doesn't mean it doesn't for other people

[HereForThis]

On the other hand, I'd say the ick is a mumsnet term for what you've written. So it exists in that way.

[CRbear]

Perhaps it’s one of those things you need to have felt yourself to identify with? Maybe you’ve been lucky enough never to. I identify with the phrase- it definitely represents something I’ve felt that I couldn’t otherwise describe.

[Gorl]

The ick definitely exists. Otherwise I wouldn’t have gone from ‘madly in lust and envisaging a happy future’ to ‘creeped out and preparing to break up’ overnight with my ex when he shaved his beard and revealed a weak chin.

[PugInTheHouse]

Laladell - no for me 'the ick' is something that is an instant turn off. Exactly how NotRainingToday has described. What you have described may be 'icky' but thats not 'The ick'.

[Mrstamborineman]

Oh you are soooo fortunate to not have experienced it. Someone on mn described it to me and it was a lightbulb moment of ohhhh I get it. Thank you mn’er of no sense I recall, it helped me. A lot.

[Theickdoesnotexist]

So three children ask why did you divorce daddy and you say I had the ick.

Or is it too much to use actual words?

[Doublevodka]

A man with long nails. That gives me the ick. No other explanation needed, surely?

[Okbye]

It absolutely exists and is a real thing.

[Mrstamborineman]

Oh jeeez I wish I spell checked ! Sense should be name !