Am I going to have SS involved because of this?

(309 Posts)
Sillyoldelfbacktoself Sun 19-Sep-21 19:19:07

DD is 7, year 3.

She usually has a hot lunch at school but doesn’t like any of the options tomorrow (Pizza, Jacket Potatos and Curry she doesn’t like any of them). She will not eat the cold option of a wrap either – sensory issues around food, she can be very fussy with food - is fine everywhere else, even school have commented on her food.

I went to my dads today on my pedal bike, went shopping for lunchbox stuff (pasta, tomatoes, some fruit and some kitkats) and other stuff then dads dropped me, plus bike home (he has a bike rack on the car) but I’ve left the bags in the boot of the car. I’ve got DD back with me now (she’s been to her dads for the weekend) and dad lives an hour away anyway, there’s no way she could cycle that far. No public transport on a Sunday, no local shops open – nearest shop to me is a Tesco Metro, no corner shops or anything as I’m basically in the town centre.

I don’t own my own car as I can’t afford to (single parent). I walk and cycle everywhere and use public transport if I can’t get there under my own steam.

Dad won’t drive out to me (understandably) and I can’t get to the shop before school starts. I might be able to get there before lunchtime tomorrow but it really depends on my morning meeting and whether I can get back to my town in time.

If I email school whats likely to happen? SS report? It’s the first time it’s ever happened, usually DD will eat at least 1 of the 3 options offered by school or I can get to the shop to get stuff to make it ok.

Lesson learnt, never shop on a Sunday always do it the other days when the Tescos shut at 10pm so I can at least throw something together.

OP’s posts: |
SheWoreYellow Sun 19-Sep-21 19:21:47

Of course they won’t call social services.

Do you want some practical ideas of what to do?

Sillyoldelfbacktoself Sun 19-Sep-21 19:22:26

SheWoreYellow

Of course they won’t call social services.

Do you want some practical ideas of what to do?

Yes please

OP’s posts: |
maplee Sun 19-Sep-21 19:23:04

I'm confused, why would they report you to SS?! If she usually has a hot lunch then she just has to have a hot lunch tomorrow at the school. My toddler doesn't eat 30% of the lunches served to him at nursery, no one phones social services. Sorry if I'm missing something!

Whentheydontmeanwhattheysay Sun 19-Sep-21 19:23:30

Message a local friend for supplies?
You can’t email the school saying she won’t like any choices then actually send her in with nothing.
Is there a garage you could cycle to? They would have pasta (or pasta pot meals in the fridge)
Deliveroo food delivery?

spicedappledonuts Sun 19-Sep-21 19:23:42

Are you asking if social services will get involved because your dc goes into school without lunch for one day?

No social services won't get involved.

I forgot occasionally to send dc's lunch and I'm a children's social worker.

I phoned up the school apologized and asked them to feed them for that day.

Sillyoldelfbacktoself Sun 19-Sep-21 19:24:52

She will not eat any of the options offered by school tomorrow and I may not be able to take a lunch in, so she'll possibly go all day without anything to eat. Thats what I'm worried about.

OP’s posts: |

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SheWoreYellow Sun 19-Sep-21 19:25:05

Right.

Have you anything at all in the house that she’ll eat?
Jam sandwich?

Or can you go out in the morning before school?

Or is there a class group chat where you can ask for someone together a packed lunch of one ham roll and a banana (or whatever that’s super simple you think she’d eat)

sundayfundayyay Sun 19-Sep-21 19:25:44

You could get a Deliveroo supermarket delivery this evening. I think the minimum spend is £20.

Waspsarearseholes Sun 19-Sep-21 19:26:09

That was an unnecessarily long post about not having anything for your daughter's lunch tomorrow. You must have something in the house she can take? Even if it's just some cereal in a Tupperware and a little flask/ bottle of milk to pour over it? To assume SS would be called over this is extremely dramatic. Are there any other reasons why the school might think of calling SS?

Porcupineintherough Sun 19-Sep-21 19:26:42

Send her in with some food or tell her its school dinners. Big difference between choosing not to eat and not eating because you have nothing.

HPmagic Sun 19-Sep-21 19:26:43

Sorry op I would send her to lunches and if she decided not to eat anything on offer then how can you be to bone for this, give her a good filling breakfast and stop worrying so much, a few hours won't hurt her if she decides not to eat anything.

maplee Sun 19-Sep-21 19:27:03

Sillyoldelfbacktoself

She will not eat any of the options offered by school tomorrow and I may not be able to take a lunch in, so she'll possibly go all day without anything to eat. Thats what I'm worried about.


I understand but she will still get offered 4 choices of main meal. Schools Dont phone social services because a child is fussy. Is there something else going on?
I agree with what the others said, surely you have something in you can send her with even if it's bread and butter and a piece of fruit.

Sillyoldelfbacktoself Sun 19-Sep-21 19:27:09

SheWoreYellow

Right.

Have you anything at all in the house that she’ll eat?
Jam sandwich?

Or can you go out in the morning before school?

Or is there a class group chat where you can ask for someone together a packed lunch of one ham roll and a banana (or whatever that’s super simple you think she’d eat)

No bread, and the shops don't open until 9am

OP’s posts: |
spicedappledonuts Sun 19-Sep-21 19:27:14

Ok, if she really won't eat anything the school is offering tomorrow then ask one of her friends parents if they could send in a sandwich.
Or send her in with leftovers that you could make at home tonight.

crazyguineapiglady Sun 19-Sep-21 19:27:57

Order her a school lunch.

You've provided the lunch, up to her if she eats it or not. Social services don't get involved for fussy eating.

TakeYourFinalPosition Sun 19-Sep-21 19:28:29

If school made her a sandwich, would she eat that?

Is there any neighbours you could borrow some bread from? Or can you piece together anything, even a bit of an odd lunch?

Lindy2 Sun 19-Sep-21 19:28:54

As you're in a town centre surely there's some food shop you can get to before school tomorrow, even if it's a sausage roll and an apple from Greggs.

Is there absolutely no food in your house? What are you eating today? Some pasta with a bit of cheese or tuna on it would do as a lunch. Some cooked sausages from your freezer and a grated carrot? Anything you can rustle up really. It doesn't need to be the worlds best lunch in the circumstances.

Sillyoldelfbacktoself Sun 19-Sep-21 19:29:15

sundayfundayyay

You could get a Deliveroo supermarket delivery this evening. I think the minimum spend is £20.

Nothing like that, for an area with a lot of takeaways there's nothing like that, only 1 or 2 places on Just Eat, nothing on Deliveroo or Uber Eats.

OP’s posts: |
LtGreggs Sun 19-Sep-21 19:29:34

Practical options:
* Tell DD to do her best with the school options tomorrow, suggest that she eats a bit of one plus whatever sides/fruit/yogurt are available
* Make the best of whatever you have in the house. Bread, pasta or rice salad, apple, tinned fruit, tuna, past or soup in a thermos, little bowl of dry cereal as a snack...
* Get everyone ready early and out to shop on way to school tomorrow
* Get everyone out to the Tesco Metro tonight (it's likely open till 8 or 10?)
* Ask a local school friend for an extra pack lunch

BakedTattie Sun 19-Sep-21 19:29:35

Do you have any food in the house? Any left
Over/old veg you could boil up with an oxo cube for soup?

Thebookswereherfriends Sun 19-Sep-21 19:29:48

Big breakfast and then send in a lunchbox with anything you have at home that she will eat. School will really not be worrying about your child having a slightly unusual lunch or if she won’t eat anything at all for one day. Make sure you have a big snack for when you collect. She’ll survive and school will not be bothered.

crazyguineapiglady Sun 19-Sep-21 19:29:55

Honestly it's pretty normal for children to be fussy about school dinners.
She will find something she likes - fruit or a pudding, bread.

It's not an emergency situation!

SheWoreYellow Sun 19-Sep-21 19:30:40

Tesco metro that doesn’t open till nine?
That’s crap and wierd. No crappy corner shop or petrol station? There must be something.

Or have you anything in the house? Crackers, um rice cakes, etc?

I think maybe ask a friend to bring her in something.

TakeYourFinalPosition Sun 19-Sep-21 19:30:40

Ah okay, cross posts.

Order her a lunch so she has the option of picking it apart or whatever if she’s hungry enough. If she doesn’t touch it, make sure she’s got something for when she gets home. SS won’t get involved because she’s too picky to eat any of the lunch options.

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