to think I’ll spend most of my time with a newborn at home?

[Jemisphere]

I wondered how much people tended to get out and out with their baby before the 12 week point?

Context is I’m due a baby in December. Especially given covid and weather I think I’ll be spending most of January and February at home in my pyjamas trying to figure out how to care for a new born and watching box sets.
I didn’t think we would be making many plans as I’m planning to EBF, I figured they would spend a lot of time feeding at irregular times, and given I’m good at napping thought I would literally try and sleep when baby does.
I do see from social media that some people I know who have had summer babies have seemed to be out at the pub and at picnics pretty much straight away. It has also been voiced by a family member that of course I’ll want people around everything weekend and to drive the baby out as I’ll be so bored. The response when I said about trying to BF was if I’m a chilled out mum I’ll have a chilled out baby and I can always give them a bottle.
I wondered what others experience was? Is it very dependant on the temperament of the baby?

[rainydayandpumpkinspice]

YABU, I was out doing things with my newborns 3 days after c-sections. Never known anyone to hide in the house for 3 months with a newborn.

[BuffySummersReportingforSanity]

It depends on the baby, and on you.

I had my first at the start of winter but was desperate to go out of the house and felt trapped. I EBF but it didn't take up all day. I should have done more napping when baby napped though!

When I had my second I had my first's school and social life to facilitate so I was out and about from the start.

Also, my baby was not chilled, but no matter how chilled I was they would NEVER have been chilled. My DC just do not have chilled personalities.

[WeRTheOnesWeHaveBeenWaitingFor]

I think it’s largely effected by the personality of the Mum. I was desperate to get out and left the house at least everyday from a few days old with both of mine. I would die Of boredom otherwise.

[Aroundtheworldin80moves]

We went out at everyday, at least for a walk. The fresh air helped them sleep.

[BuffySummersReportingforSanity]

Basically whatever you do you'll have some people aghast about it. I rang up to join a baby group when DC1 was two weeks old and pretty much blew the mind of the woman on the other end of the line. I didn't understand then why she was so incredulous.

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

Stay at home for 12 wks…nope!
For your own mental health it’s good to get out, don’t make any elaborate plans but a trip to the shops or a walk round the block will keep you sane.
As for breastfeeding, you can feed in public.
Just keep an open mind and see how you feel. I would equate it to pyjama days- sure they sound nice in theory but do you want one every day? Equally don’t you have things to do, ie. food shop maybe?

[mynameiscalypso]

I went out every day with my newborn. I would have gone mad stuck inside the house every day and I vaguely remember reading that it's important for newborns to be exposed to daylight because it helps them establish day/night.

[Zarene]

I was out and about with my December newborn - nothing massive, but walks with the pram, coffee shops, baby yoga stuff.

Good thing too as COVID hit when she was three months, so outings were much more limited then.

I would have got massive cabin fever if I was just inside.

[Missmonkeypenny]

I was out doing the food shop when DS was a week old - after feeling crap for the last month and a bit of pregnancy, I was desperate desperate get out and about and feel normal again, to walk around without feeling like I was going to keel over! I dont know anyone who's mainly stayed inside for 12 weeks, maybe the first 2 or so but surely you'll get cabin fever?

[StrongerOrWeaker]

It will depend on your personality and your baby.

[mynameiscalypso]

Also, I had an ELCS and I think getting out every day for a walk definitely helped my recovery physically.

[AHobbyaweek]

I have a 5 day old and have been out and about but only because I wanted to in order to stay sane. The end of my pregnancy I was not up for going out much and apart from the school runs to get a bit of walking in I hid.
But you do you. It would be easy to fill my time in the house if I was inclined to with baby things and general bits. Everyone will give you the "best" way to be but you do what you want and ignore them.

[Robostripes]

I had to make sure I went out every day or I would have gone stir crazy. My DS was not the sort of baby who would let me sit and watch box sets. Being out and about stimulated him and gave me purpose. I did a couple of baby classes a week, walks, meeting friends for coffee or lunch, meeting my mum etc. I didn’t start any of that until he was about a month old though - the first few weeks I could barely cope with getting dressed.

[sar302]

We had a December baby a few years ago and I remember it being quite a cold but dry winter. We went out wrapped up quite a lot. Met NCT friends, friends, family etc.

I remember if I met up with someone, we would meet somewhere where if you were late because of a feed or nappy explosion or whatever, the other person wasn't left stranded in the cold. That made it much less stressful. Keep a change bag fully stocked so it's one less thing to worry about when leaving the house.

I don't think it would have been great for my mental health to just sit inside for three months! And there's no real need to. You get used to it all quite quickly. Plus it's such a lovely time of year to be out, seeing all the lights etc.

Ultimately do what you're comfortable with and sod anyone else in the early stage. But I don't think you should commit to hibernation.

[AFuturisticalSound]

It's up to you but ime the time of year doesn't make a difference to whether new mums go out. I don't remember any difference in the numbers at baby groups or meeting up with friends

If you're naturally an out and about person I think you continue to be like that Staying inside with only a newborn for company can be very isolating.

[Comedycook]

I'd say first couple of weeks, you'd be staying at home a lot...but staying at home for 12 weeks is too long and you'll probably be climbing the walls by then. Still, do what you're happy with. It's much easier with your first to just do what you want. If you have an older child, then you can't just sit on the sofa with your newborn and watch boxsets and chill...so enjoy while you can

[bluechameleon]

You can of course stay in and watch box sets if you want to, it makes no difference to your baby. I got bored and wanted adult company and stimulation so I went out a lot, either meeting up with people or wandering around galleries/woods/National Trust houses/shopping centres with the baby in the sling. No one took the baby out for me except DH until they were a lot older than that though.

[emmaluggs]

Meh I think it depends on baby and mum. The thought of being cooped up sounds awful to me personally. Mine was born in October, and we used to walk, I used to go to the shops, out for lunch, once my partners paternity leave ended was more so when I ventured out as I felt recovered, and did enjoy that bubble for that time but we did do family outings in that time too. But equally enjoyed just snuggling at home watching TV, particularly if we’d had a hard night. Just take it as it comes and have no expectations of staying in or going out 😊

[Oh9autumn]

I got bored at home with both DCs, DS1 I was at DSS football games a few days after ( this was after forceps, deep stitches)…/ DD2 I was rushed into surgery straight after she was born that was the Wednesday, and it was my DS graduation from nursery on the Friday…
DS1 I was out every day for a coffee, wandering around the shopping centre…. Dd2 I had no choice as DS started school when she was 6 days old so school run every single day.

Honestly you won’t be home for 12 weeks…. You will get so so so so bored

[TheGriffle]

I think for your own sanity even a walk round the block once a day would be beneficial. I’m a big advocate of napping and box sets but not every day for 12 weeks or more.

[StarfishDish]

@Jemisphere YABU. Our daughter was born earlier this year and we had to drive home in thick snow. The next night (3 days old), we were wrapped up, baby was wrapped in a snow suit and a blanket and we trekked through the snow to walk the dog. We walked the dog in all kinds of weather and baby came with us.

[MattyGroves]

I found that my babies were super happy just being in a sling and with me for the first few months. So I did a lot of pottering around galleries and museums with my winter baby and walks with my summer baby. Also met friends for lunch near their workplaces.

[HalloHello]

I have to say with my first baby I did stay home a lot, feeding and napping. I did go out, and did have visitors but largely just stayed home. It was a beautiful summer so we pottered in the garden, sunbathed, and went for walks. Had a very chilled baby. It was bliss!
With my 2nd baby, there wasn't an option to do that as I have the nursery run, and another child to keep busy.

I wouldn't plan to do anything, just see how you go. Don't overthink it. You may love being at home with occasional visitors, and the odd walk or you might crave getting on with life but you won't know until baby is here.

[Comedycook]

Oh and small babies are much more portable and need much less entertaining than boisterous toddlers...so in a way it's easier to take them out. You can sit in a restaurant or cafe with a newborn and eat and chat in more peace than you would once they're older

[DappledThings]

I had December and February EBF babies and we were out a lot. A lot of walking about, cafes, rhyme time. Making the most of being able to have a coffee or a drink with other friends with babies when they were still small enough to not be too disruptive.

It's fine to want to hunker down for a bit but fresh air is important too at least for a short bit of the day.