Have to lie to my husband’s whole family that my kid loves this

(186 Posts)
IWannaGoToTheSpa Sun 19-Sep-21 07:49:18

Just after the winter lockdown, March or April ish time, my husband’s brother, his wife and three kids came to see us snd played in the garden. Obviously not seen them all for ages due to lockdown etc. Watching their kids play with my daughter who was 3 at the time was just magical, it was a cold day but they all played in the garden so nicely and absolutely loved being together. When the time came for them to leave my DD burst into hysterical crying and did not want them to go. It was heartbreaking and heart warming at the same time. To stop my DD from being so upset, one of her cousins, 6, gave her favourite soft toy bunny that she’d had since she was a baby. It went everywhere with her so it really was quite incredible that this loving little 6 year old would do this. Bless her. Her parents (my BIL and SIL) were keen to encourage this kind loving act, so we kept it but sort of kept it away from DD in case her little cousin decided at a later point she wanted it back! Well this was one reason. But the other was that it’s stinking and filthy. I mean black with filth. No way was I gonna let DD cuddle it, take it to bed etc. It was grim. Problem is, the whole family still goes on about the loving act (they’re a bit weird - not husband’s brother and wife, they’re lovely, but more my MIL and FIL). And the little cousin does she say misses it. I’d just give the damn thing back but BIL and SIL keen she keeps her promise to my DD. Problem is, my DD won’t even remember getting it as we hid it away due to it being filthy, and now they’re down for a visit (they live two hours away, staying with my MIL and FIL) and little cousin wants to see it. Even arranging a time they can come today for little cousin to pay a visit to the toy bunny. I feel like I’m keeping up a big lie that DD loves this thing cos it was such a big deal that her little cousin gave it to her… do I just keep up this facade forever?! Mean this fairly light hearted, I realise there are bigger problems!

OP’s posts: |
SheldontheWonderSchlong Sun 19-Sep-21 07:53:32

Why didn't you just wash the thing?

RockallMalinHebrides Sun 19-Sep-21 07:54:25

I’d wash it and give it to your daughter. One of my children was attached to a similar toy (it didn’t stink though) - it would have been a huge thing for him to give it away and he would have been incredibly upset to find out that it hadn’t been used.

gabsdot45 Sun 19-Sep-21 07:55:09

First thing to do is wash it. (maybe a few times) Then put it with your DDs other toys.
She may or may not play with it but the Inlaws will see it there..

DoucheCanoe Sun 19-Sep-21 07:55:20

I'd wash it then give it back.

Tell them that DD has enjoyed having bunny to stay for a while when they couldn't see each other but now it's time for bunny to go home.

Just tell them that she doesn't really look at or play with it so it's only fair that their child who actually wants it has it back but you appreciated the gesture.

It's really not a big deal.

Mangosmoothiesprinkles Sun 19-Sep-21 07:56:00

Wash it! smile

Tsubasa1 Sun 19-Sep-21 07:56:00

Wash it and give it to your DD to play with.

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Soontobe60 Sun 19-Sep-21 07:56:15

Wash it! Tell them that dd dropped it in a muddy puddle or something.

Mandalordeloris Sun 19-Sep-21 07:57:20

I would fess up to the parents.

It sounds like they've been looking for an excuse to get shot of the wretched thing and palmed it off onto you.

MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously Sun 19-Sep-21 07:58:19

I really don't think your il's should have allowed their child to give something so precious to her away. I'd wash it and maybe say to cousin that your DD wants to share it with her and if she would like to, bunny can live at her house for a bit. I think the cousin probably misses her toy and would like it back. Bil/Sil were wrong, even though they meant well. You could explain that you feel incredibly guilty about DD keeping it.

TheYearOfSmallThings Sun 19-Sep-21 07:58:29

Just tell them that she doesn't really look at or play with it so it's only fair that their child who actually wants it has it back but you appreciated the gesture

I agree. Wash it and send it back, not that big a deal, and the DC who loves the bunny gets to keep it.

RampantIvy Sun 19-Sep-21 07:58:43

I can't understand why you haven't washed it.

PegasusReturns Sun 19-Sep-21 07:58:56

Wash it! Why on earth wouldn’t you?!

Dontforgetyourbrolly Sun 19-Sep-21 07:59:09

Washing machine???

BruceAndNosh Sun 19-Sep-21 07:59:13

Wash it because "something got spilt on Bunny" then give it back because "DD loves her cousin even more than she loves Bunny"

AChickenCalledDaal Sun 19-Sep-21 07:59:58

Let her see it. And let her have it back, just as it is. Tell the little girl that bunny would love to come home now. Tell the parents that little cousin was indeed very lovely and generous but life has moved on and DD won't miss it. And be firm.

I gave away a cuddly toy when I was little and still remember how much I regretted it. Parents may be getting excessively fixated on how generous little cousin was and not taking her feelings into account.

VladmirsPoutine Sun 19-Sep-21 08:00:04

I don't understand why you haven't washed it. And also just put it among the other lot of toys toddlers are fickle creatures so whilst it was a very kind gesture DD can't be expected to fall over herself declaring her love for this toy forever.

KeyboardWorriers Sun 19-Sep-21 08:00:18

Just give it back!

burritofan Sun 19-Sep-21 08:01:51

Wash it and reciprocate the loving act with great insistence that it goes back to its first owner.

Fastforwardtospring Sun 19-Sep-21 08:02:58

Why wouldn’t you wash it? I remember DD having a muslin cloth instead of a toy, we called it the toxic rag, I had to pick my moments to wash the thing as she preferred it grubby, didn’t stop me doing it though.

frazzledasarock Sun 19-Sep-21 08:03:34

She probably refused to let her parents wash it so they were relieved to when she gave it away.

Wash it and give it back to her when she comes to visit.

Tell her bunny wants to go home now she had fun playing with DD.

HappilyHadesBound Sun 19-Sep-21 08:04:31

Yabu... to have not washed it...!

Caramellatteplease Sun 19-Sep-21 08:04:32

Tell them that DD has enjoyed having bunny to stay for a while when they couldn't see each other but now it's time for bunny to go home.

Just tell them that she doesn't really look at or play with it so it's only fair that their child who actually wants it has it back but you appreciated the gesture.

Yes this. I might even go as far as saying bunny got very homesick

Shoxfordian Sun 19-Sep-21 08:06:49

I don’t know why you wouldn’t have washed it either. Say bunny had a lovely holiday but he wants to hop back home now

EatYourVegetables Sun 19-Sep-21 08:07:29

I’d wash it, lie that my DD has enjoyed it, say that it’s time she gave it back, and give it back. Say bunny enjoyed his holiday but misses home.

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