To feel so sad that my DH takes no interest in my health condition?

Thewholeshackshimmy · 2021-09-17 09:52:09

I have had IBS for 24 years. This condition may not mean much to non sufferers but it has totally controlled my life. It has been awful for the last 4/5 years and has really ruined my quality of life and has had a huge negative impact on my mental health which is very poor. I belong to many support groups and this is a common issue with many sufferers so I know I am not being a drama queen. DH and I have been together for over 30 years so he was with me when I had no issues and was able to enjoy my life. The fact he has stuck with me through this is something I will forever be grateful for as he could have left me many times. But that is about it. Over the years I have ploughed all of my effort in helping myself overcome/control this bloody awful thing. Endless medications, horrible invasive and uncomfortable tests, lots of doctor and hospital appointments, very restrictive diets, counselling, CBT, hypnotherapy etc. I’ve arranged these things myself with no input, help/advise or interest from DH which I have excepted as I am an adult and need to deal with my health myself but... On top of this my life atm is very stressful as I care for my mum who has Alzheimer’s. Obviously this stress adds to my condition and anxiety in general which isn’t ideal. He has also never understood my mental health issues having never suffered himself, no one in his family have ever suffered either so it’s a foreign thing to him. So I don’t tell him how I feel most of the time. But I’m feeling very resentful recently about the fact he takes zero interest in my daily struggles. For example the other day I called him at work for something unrelated, afterwards I said I was feeling really rough in my digestive system and the reply I got was a ‘Oh bloody hell not this again, I’ve got to go’ and put the phone down. Last night there was a tv show about IBS and I said I was looking forward to seeing it and asked if he would watch it with me (as I wanted him to get an understanding of how this condition really makes me feel). I got a ‘No, I’m not watching that shit’. I said that was really hurtful and I would have liked him to have watched it with me. I must have hit a nerve because 5 mins into watching it he came in and sat down. I was so pleased and as the sufferers on the show were explaining how the condition left them feeling I was saying ‘Yes, yes, this is exactly how I feel. Can you see now why I feel like that?’ There was no reply from him. I looked over to the sofa and there he was fast asleep, I felt so pissed off and hurt. If it had been a tv show about fucking airplane investigators, ice road truckers or anything with bloody Jeremy Clarkson in he would stay awake watching all night I know it’s difficult living with someone whinging about their guts every day but If he had a long term health condition I know that however wearing it was I would support him, I would look up all the information about it and do everything I can to help and support him. Is it unreasonable to have hoped I could have had this sort of support for myself?

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