To think that partners comments about his friends wife are inappropriate or am I over reacting

(64 Posts)
minesapinotg Thu 16-Sep-21 19:44:56

As I am prone to doing .
Partner and I very happy, very close and no reason not to trust each other. His friend for years is lovely , quiet and sensible but is easy to rise. They are always rising each other about one thing or another.
Partner tells me that he was messing with his friend a few days ago after he met his friends wife when he had to collect something at their house. Friend asked him how he got on and My partner told him that he was exhausted after the visit ... tongue in cheek .. and friend slagged him back and reverted back to normal
Chit chat .General fun. Nothing out of the ordinary.
I don't think he should be telling me though !
I know it's fun and there's nothing in it . He was telling me in general chit chat and having gone through a hard time, how friends wife seemed to be in a much better place and smiling again.
Still though... he thought nothing of telling me this and this is the type of messing that they are always at.

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ILikeYourHair Thu 16-Sep-21 19:47:27

I read this twice, and I still don’t understand what was said……

minesapinotg Thu 16-Sep-21 19:48:19

He said he was exhausted after visiting her... wink

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minesapinotg Thu 16-Sep-21 19:48:59

Alluding to something physical

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gibletjane Thu 16-Sep-21 19:51:36

but it was banter yes?

gibletjane Thu 16-Sep-21 19:52:18

surely the fact he's telling you shows it's not a big deal?

iamtheoneandonlyyy Thu 16-Sep-21 19:52:18

Sounds like a couple of mates being daft.


ILikeYourHair Thu 16-Sep-21 19:54:08

Oh, okey!

Difficult to say, some people are okey with this kind of ”banter”.
Personally, I hate it, grosses me out.

Is this his usual sense of humour?
What is the dynamic between them three usually?

minesapinotg Thu 16-Sep-21 19:54:57

Banter yes. Great friends . We all get on well .

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DontBuyANewMumCashmere Thu 16-Sep-21 19:56:18

@ILikeYourHair He joked to his mate he was knackered after shagging her.

He told you about it, during the course of him telling you about the other bits of convo? It depends on how you feel about his style of 'banter'. I would laugh at my colleagues chatting shit like this as it's common in my workplace. If my DH said this to his best mate a) we'd all think he was having an episode b) I'd think it really disrespectful of the friend's wife, and me too.
But if he's always like this and you know he's like this then I don't think you can be super annoyed with it unless he's got mentionitis and can't stop talking about her, or you think he was trying to get a reaction from you.

Do you think he was just trying to show you how impressive his bantz is?!

gibletjane Thu 16-Sep-21 19:56:30

I mean it's stupid banter but I don't think he meant anything by it.

lioncitygirl Thu 16-Sep-21 19:57:15

Sorry - you know it’s banter yes, as they have form for it? But your upset? Ok - did you tell him about it? Tbh - is very much depends on the type of relationship you have, is he always like this and are you generally ok with it as you know it’s just silly stuff?

minesapinotg Thu 16-Sep-21 19:57:47

He was just telling me the story. No Malice intended

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DeadGood Thu 16-Sep-21 19:59:46

OP, your writing style is a bit unusual, it reminds me of my great-aunt’s - are you all getting on a bit? Trying to understand the context and how upset you might be!

minesapinotg Thu 16-Sep-21 19:59:54

He is so open ... to his detriment at times!!! They are always slagging each other off. It's the nature of his friendship with his friend. No mentionitis

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girlmom21 Thu 16-Sep-21 20:00:10

Surely if you're that close and happy you know this is what his sense of humour is like? I think you're overreacting.

gibletjane Thu 16-Sep-21 20:00:38

* He joked to his mate he was knackered after shagging her.*

The men I know who say this would be digging at that the other husband that they aren't satisfying their wife so imo it's not really about her as such.

gibletjane Thu 16-Sep-21 20:01:05

Are you worried that he's attracted to her?

WomanStanleyWoman Thu 16-Sep-21 20:01:25

This thread has been done before.

MurielSpriggs Thu 16-Sep-21 20:01:53

It sounds like you're overreacting to me.

minesapinotg Thu 16-Sep-21 20:02:28

There's no attraction. We are close and happy but sensitive and I have never posted about this before. I'm
Prone to overreacting for sure !

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Porridgealert Thu 16-Sep-21 20:03:57

Big over-reaction.

IllegibleSquiggles Thu 16-Sep-21 20:04:01

It sounds monumentally juvenile, like fifteen year olds claiming to have shagged one another's mums on their lunchbreak, or something, but I don't see why your issue is with your partner telling you his 'witty bantz.' I mean, I makes him sound thick, but otherwise...?

gibletjane Thu 16-Sep-21 20:06:42

I don't understand what you're upset about then?

minesapinotg Thu 16-Sep-21 20:09:06

Sorry I'm a bit sensitive. Cheating exh etc etc

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