Page 5 | To buy the same item as a close friend?

(390 Posts)
lucyli Mon 23-Aug-21 05:53:56

Firstly I apologise that this is the epitome of a first world problem. I acknowledge I am fortunate to have this problem and that there are many bigger things to worry about.

I have decided to make a high-end purchase from a well-known brand. I've never done this before but am at the stage in my life where I would like to do so.

I spend a long while researching, chose what I wanted and planned to head to the shops in a few days.

Was just chatting to a close friend and it turns out she has the exact same item and is annoyed that I'd buy the same and said she'd rather I didn't. I wasn't aware of this before.

I struggle to understand this mentality as it's not something that would concern me at all the other way around.

Her argument is that she didn't spend all that money, just to have someone close to her have the exact same item.

AIBU to buy it anyway? I was so pleased with the idea of having it and was excited to buy it.

OP’s posts: |
Carycy Mon 23-Aug-21 08:17:07

To be honest I just associate LV with a certain type of tourist and fakes. V tacky. Why not go for a more exclusive brand?
Recently discovered a gorgeous brand called Smaak Amsterdam. Truly beautiful bags. No big in your face design.

Lightisnotwhite Mon 23-Aug-21 08:17:30

Hugoslavia

Honestly, having just checked out to LV Neverfull bag, I think that it looks cheap. There are so many knockoffs. It's also a myth that you are paying for fantastic quality. You are paying for the brand name - the high rent on the shops, the PR and marketing team, the expensive glossy ad campaigns, the expensive shop fittings. You are paying the wages for teams of people on most probably better salaries than yourself. You are taking a large proportion of your salary and giving it to the already rich. And then on top of that, you are advertising their products for them free of charge by turning yourself into a walking sandwich board. And why?? Because the marketing works and you somehow think that you will look and feel more important and special by showing off your wealth. Nike trainers don't turn a normal person into the world's fastest runner anymore than a LV bag turns you into a rich supermodel. These brands prey on insecurities. Quite often other bags of similar quality are made in the exact same factories but sold for considerably less. Save your money and actually spend it on yourself rather than giving it to the well paid executives at LV. Besides which, the bag is ugly and cheap looking.

Agreed.

Also let’s do our bit for climate change. Why not buy a new designer bag second hand? Tons around from people with more money than sense. I get bags from a woman with a shopping addiction, buys one in every colour, changes her mind and gives them away with tags still on. Nuts.

Hesma Mon 23-Aug-21 08:20:43

Tricky one… I would say buy it but have a feeling from the way your friend reacted that it may be the end of your friendship if you do. I’d hold off for now, look for another and let her have her moment of excitement and then buy anyway later if I can’t find another I like… good luck op flowers

SnoopyLights Mon 23-Aug-21 08:20:59

I have very similar tastes to my closest friend and to one of my cousins, and we often seem to independently buy the same or very similar things at the exact same time. Clothes, bags, things in our houses, even to the point that two of us have children who share a name (there are reasons but they are outing to get into).

We've usually laughed it off and been pleased about the coincidence.

The only time I've really minded someone buying the same things as me is when MIL used to do it. You would buy something, she would make a snide comment about it, then go out and get the same thing, then still be unhappy as she'd wasted money on something she didn't really want, thinking it would make her happy but it never did. She was a woman who was never happy with herself or other people, she's not good in her own company, can't be alone, and I don't think she had much self awareness to just be herself. So she would copy others whilst also putting them down for liking what they liked, and then still be disappointed because doing it hadn't brought her any joy.

I had to google the bag from the guess on the thread here, didn't even realise that lv was Louis Vuitton at first. I'm with you, it seems like a popular design, I know I've seen a lot of similar bags before, and if you like it and it will suit what you need it for, I can't see why your friend is so upset.

It sounds like you've chosen a bag that will best suit your needs and she's chosen a bag she thinks will impress people due to the cost.

I still can't see why you can't both have one if you both love the bag. I think the deciding issue for me would be if this is an unusual request from her and how she normally behaves about having things others don't. Perhaps also if she has lots of expensive things to show off, or if this is a one-off. Is she usually pleased for other people when they have nice things, or is she jealous?

I have a bag made from old firehoses, I have not had it long so I can't speak for how durable it will be, but it's survived being dragged about as firehose for many years before being turned into a bag so I'm guessing it will be good. It's a fraction of the cost of your bag, looks great, has a bit of individuality about it, and is big enough to fit everything I want and need to carry (and more). I definitely recommend it so far. I opted for one that still has printing on it as I felt it added a bit of character, and I love it. It's from a company called Elvis and Kresse and they donate 50% of their profit back into charities for firefighters. They have a great range so well worth a look.

billy1966 Mon 23-Aug-21 08:21:22

Wise decision OP.
That bag is absolutely everywhere.
Look further.

I think your friend is a bit of a prat.

Estellelauder Mon 23-Aug-21 08:22:09

Is she going to have a bouncer on the door of every restaurant stopping women with the same bag coming in while she’s there? grin

If you like the bag, get it…

Advertisement

lucyli Mon 23-Aug-21 08:23:18

I've never heard of Goyard before and absolutely love them. This may have solved my problem!

OP’s posts: |
IDidntFloatUpTheLaganInABubble Mon 23-Aug-21 08:23:53

I love LV and I have a few of their bags but I wouldn't buy a Neverful they are literally everywhere, you're friend is being extremely precious!
Of all LV bags it seems to be most commonly faked and I'm never convinced anyone carrying one has a genuine one.
Longchamps are lovely I have a couple of those and they are hard wearing and good quality. There is an outlet at Bicester if it's easy for you to get to.

purpletrains Mon 23-Aug-21 08:24:05

If its a mulberry or LV handbag the its hardy a unique item is if

Loads of people have them

Beautiful3 Mon 23-Aug-21 08:24:19

Life's too short, she's being silly. Just buy it and enjoy it. Laugh if she makes a fuss, say its just a bag, you can't stop everyone from buying one!

UnsuitableHat Mon 23-Aug-21 08:25:45

If you like the bag, and aren’t bothered by someone else having the same one, get it. It’s her problem not yours, and if she likes you less for it, I think that might reveal her to be a touch shallow. Also her problem.

RampantIvy Mon 23-Aug-21 08:28:33

Ragwort

LV must be delighted at all the people now looking at their website to see what this bag is, I've never seen one, but I don't move in the sort of circles where people have designer handbags grin.

You and me both @Ragwort grin

SavoyCabbage Mon 23-Aug-21 08:30:07

I have a bag made from old firehoses, I have not had it long so I can't speak for how durable it will be, but it's survived being dragged about as firehose for many years before being turned into a bag so I'm guessing it will be good. It's a fraction of the cost of your bag, looks great, has a bit of individuality about it, and is big enough to fit everything I want and need to carry (and more). I definitely recommend it so far. I opted for one that still has printing on it as I felt it added a bit of character, and I love it. It's from a company called Elvis and Kresse and they donate 50% of their profit back into charities for firefighters. They have a great range so well worth a look.

These are lovely @SnoopyLights and not at all what I expected when I looked.

Here is a link

https://www.elvisandkresse.com/collections/womens-bags

Chickychickydodah Mon 23-Aug-21 08:32:42

If you want it get it!
Just don’t tell her, it’s up to you !

AllAroundTheWorldYeah Mon 23-Aug-21 08:33:29

Lougle

I clearly have no taste because, having googled it, that looks like something you could get at the local market for £20. I'd save your £1000 and buy something else grin


Haha, same here. Such ugly bags!

mumsiedarlingrevolta Mon 23-Aug-21 08:34:45

Just googled it and one of the most ubiquitous bags there is.

Buy the bag if it makes you happy-you def won't be the only ones anywhere carrying it!!

EmmaGrundyForPM Mon 23-Aug-21 08:41:49

If it's something like a car or a piece of art that stays at home, less so.

Many years ago we lived in a flat that was created from a house being split into.2 flats. There was a driveway in front that was two cars wide so downstairs neighbours and us parked our cars there. We ordered a new car and about a week before it was about to be delivered our neighbours told us they had ordered a new car. Turns out we had ordered identical cars - same model, same colour etc. Once the cars arrived, everyone commented on it, but we couldn't do anything about it other than congratulate each other on our brilliant taste in cars.

WiggIyWoo Mon 23-Aug-21 08:42:18

Most women I know own at least a few of the well known classic designer handbags

Absolutely fascinated by this! I'm mid 30s with lots of doctor, accountant, engineer type friends and I don't believe I know a single person with a designer bag, let alone multiple. What kind of age are you and are you in London, if you don't mind me asking?

Sciurus83 Mon 23-Aug-21 08:43:23

LV Neverfull is one of the most popular bags in production, not just now it's been around for 10 years at least, I don't think it will be going away any time soon. If you really love it you could look at a different print eg the Damier? Amazed at the people saying teenagers and schoolkids have them, must be a different demographic to where I live coz I don't know any teenagers with bags work thousands! That said, it wouldn't be my choice, I think the Saint Laurent totes are really nice, classy understated will never go out of fashion and really reasonable price. If I was buying a big money tote that's where I would go www.selfridges.com/GB/en/cat/saint-laurent-logo-print-leather-tote-bag_R03707329/?previewAttribute=STORM&cm_mmc=PLA-_-Google-_-WOMENS-_-SAINTLAURENT&POR=Y&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=na_na_pla-b_na_na_na_DOM_PLA-CATCHALL2-SHOPTAIL-CSSTEST-W3&gclid=Cj0KCQjwjo2JBhCRARIsAFG667WAaMJ0Vd9uJ5OtXfaNcQpozXdHsbBKY4k2sJYua6IvtRKhszD0IEkaAuU2EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

RampantIvy Mon 23-Aug-21 08:44:39

Most women I know own at least a few of the well known classic designer handbags

I have no idea whether my friends' handbags are designer or not. I very much doubt it.

LavenderPink Mon 23-Aug-21 08:45:27

lucyli

I've never heard of Goyard before and absolutely love them. This may have solved my problem!

Horray! Style and Beauty board is full of people willing to help with the challenge too! Love a good bag thread. Don't be a sheep, get something special that makes your heart sing.

Sciurus83 Mon 23-Aug-21 08:45:57

WigglyWoo

I know it's wild! I am also late 30s professional, friends with all sorts of directors, managers, doctors of my age, none of us have a designer handbag!

diddl Mon 23-Aug-21 08:46:15

I've never really liked the Gucci or LV patterns-or tote bags!

Love the Elvis & Kresse bags!

Clymene Mon 23-Aug-21 08:46:16

Item. Why didn't you just say handbag? I don't understand why people pay thousands to advertise someone's brand. What are you trying to tell the world? That you can afford a real one?

Heavily logoed accessories and clothing are for teenagers.

MsHedgehog Mon 23-Aug-21 08:46:42

Seeing as you knew she had bought it, and bought it recently, I’m actually wondering if you’ve been hugely influenced by her. That is how it seems to me. It’s very very coincidental that shortly after she buys it, you want the exact same bag too.

I have a close friend who does this...whenever I say I’m about to buy a certain designer handbag or accessory, she suddenly expresses interest in it too and wants it. I know imitation is the best form of flattery but it really annoys me. So if that’s the case, and judging by the fact that you want it only after she bought it, I see her point of view completely. Don’t be that person OP.

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