For wanting to block this girl?

(166 Posts)
Cupcakejamlover Thu 05-Aug-21 14:40:42

So this girl recently moved to London from very far away since she married a family acquaintance (in law’s family). Her husband is around my husbands age and they know each other, but aren’t close friends. Not for a particular reason, but it just never happened. Hubby and I went with my in laws to congratulate the couple for their wedding and welcome her in London, and meet her & get to know her. We took each other’s instagram by the end of the night so we can stay in touch. (I initiated this). A few weeks later i messaged her, told her if she was free to come over for a coffe (thinking it would be nice to build a friendship, especially for her since she barely knows anyone here.) she then answered “i would love to but i can’t this weekend, are you free next week? We would meet at a coffe shop.” Initially i didnt think much of it and said yes, but later on I kind of felt like it was very rude of her that I invited her to my house, for her to not ask but demand “we would meet at a coffe shop”. So when she asked me what day suits me, I told her i’d have to check with my husband when he’s free since he would have to babysit (have a young baby and am not comfortable taking him with me to coffe shops during covid and after that i wrote “Or if you want you could come with your hubby one day so the guys can meet as well, for us it’s just easier that way with the baby” and after that i got ignored, its been days with no answer!!
Is it just me or is this very rude? Anyways i’m now thinking of unfollowing her and make her unfollow me on instagram and leave it there, seems like she will be a difficult friend right? Am I overreacting or do you think i’m right?

OP’s posts: |
gamerchick Thu 05-Aug-21 14:45:49

She doesn't want to come to your house, she barely knows you OP.

Tbh the way you're reacting says you're being the difficult friend.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Thu 05-Aug-21 14:49:08

She didn't 'demand' to meet at a coffee shop.

As you've already said, you don't know each other. Maybe she's not comfortable going to the house of someone she doesn't know.

She couldn't make the original date so she suggested an alternative.

She hasn't been rude at all.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Thu 05-Aug-21 14:50:22

'I'm now thinking of unfollowing her'.

I very much doubt if this will affect her life in any way.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing Thu 05-Aug-21 14:51:29

Also is English not her first language? “We would meet in a coffee shop” doesn’t sound like the way a first language speaker would put it.

But I think she’s just not comfortable going to the house of someone she doesn’t know. She’s also probably waiting for you to speak to your DH - as you suggested- and let her know when you can come out and meet her.

Cupcakejamlover Thu 05-Aug-21 14:51:39

Well we went to her house not knowing her either, We know her husband thats the whole point. And even that i thought of and said to my self, maybe offer her to come with her hubby because he does know my husband .. regardless, at least she could have invited us over instead or maybe said something like “sure we’ll work something out ” and leave it there, instead of just completely ignoring me for inviting her over …

OP’s posts: |
iamdashi Thu 05-Aug-21 14:51:52

This sounds crazy. How intense. I don't think she's been rude at all. Maybe she wrote 'would' instead of 'could' - that's the only thing I can think of that was a bit odd in her text?


hehehhehe Thu 05-Aug-21 14:51:54

Maybe she's thinking of sitting outside due to Covid.

purplewolfie Thu 05-Aug-21 14:52:00

She's waiting for you to suggest dates. Like you said you would. She doesn't want to do the husband thing.

UserStillatLarge Thu 05-Aug-21 14:53:05

If that's the exact reply you sent, I wouldn't have responded either.

Her initial reply is perfectly fine. She's basically a distant connection and she wants to meet you in a coffee shop so it's a fairly casual arrangement. You are coming over as suffocating (demanding her instagram on first meeting her). Surprised she hasn't blocked you already.

Twinkie01 Thu 05-Aug-21 14:55:09

God you're overthinking this.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Thu 05-Aug-21 14:55:15

instead of just completely ignoring me for inviting her over

But she hasn't? She has replied with an alternative suggestion.

HoboSexualOnslow Thu 05-Aug-21 14:55:41

She sounds fine. And your husband isn't babysitting, he is looking after his child

Stigofthedump40 Thu 05-Aug-21 15:02:00

Gosh you sound quite difficult

LtDansleg Thu 05-Aug-21 15:04:13

You’re coming across as a bit of a knob op. Do the girl a favour and block her.

MartyHart Thu 05-Aug-21 15:05:17

Maybe she just didn't want to put you to any trouble?

MrsTerryPratchett Thu 05-Aug-21 15:05:38

I find my life is immeasurably better when I do t go looking for reasons to be offended. I just assume most people aren't knobs deliberately.

You should try it OP, it's great.

hudagee Thu 05-Aug-21 15:06:26

Err...I'm not sure what the problem is?

I meet friends all the time out as opposed to at home, less clearing up post meeting & tidying pre. No idea that was offensive!

TedHastingsweeDonkey Thu 05-Aug-21 15:06:53

"Would" is clearly a typo for "could" IMO. You are really blowing this up, OP. There's no drama. Just follow up with another message like a normal person if you are keen. If not, leave it. End of.

LadyJaye Thu 05-Aug-21 15:08:01


She sounds fine. And your husband isn't babysitting, he is looking after his child

Exactly this.

TBH, I think this woman has dodged a bullet here...

hudagee Thu 05-Aug-21 15:08:21

* I told her i’d have to check with my husband when he’s free since he would have to babysit*

🙄 How much does he charge then?

caughtinanet Thu 05-Aug-21 15:11:12

It's perfectly understandable that someone would want to meet a person they don't know well in a neutral venue like a coffee shop, way less awkward if conversation doesn't flow and nice to be out and about after so long inside houses.

It's sounding like you are looking to be offended

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross Thu 05-Aug-21 15:11:32

"Girl"? How old is she?

Maybe she finds you a little bit patronising?

LegoCaltrops Thu 05-Aug-21 15:15:28

If she's married, she's a woman. Girl = female human child.

Is English her first language? Maybe would was a typo for could? Maybe she's CEV or a member of her family is, & she'd rather meet up outside?

pasturesgreen Thu 05-Aug-21 15:16:32

Er...her reply was fine?

Either go to the coffee shop or don't, but don't go looking for reasons to be offended, she did nothing wrong.

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