To find this a bit annoying at EVERY meal?

(337 Posts)
mockingbirdi Wed 04-Aug-21 18:08:28

A good friend of mine has invited a new friend into our friendship group. There was originally about 4/5 of us going for lunch or dinner whenever so now there's 5/6. Absolutely fine

Except this friend of hers is nice enough but insists on eating chicken nuggets and chips! At every place we go

She was invited out with us to an Italian on Saturday. She has posted in the grouch at that she won't come as 'There isn't anything on the menu for me 😔'

So now, my friend that was originally her friend before she came into the group is saying we should change where we eat! So no Italian because they don't actually sell chicken nuggets and chips. And no Chinese that we like, or Japanese, as again nothing she wants there

AIBU to think this is ridiculous now?

OP’s posts: |
Onesailwait Wed 04-Aug-21 18:10:41

Suggest she picks up a happy meal on the way?grin

dementedpixie Wed 04-Aug-21 18:10:52

How irritating!

mockingbirdi Wed 04-Aug-21 18:11:18

Onesailwait

Suggest she picks up a happy meal on the way?grin



Funnily enough she doesn't like McDonald's grin

OP’s posts: |
Arrowheart Wed 04-Aug-21 18:12:14

If you change where you go based on the fact that one person only likes chicken nuggets you are going to have a lot of very dull meals out at Mcdonalds.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Wed 04-Aug-21 18:12:46

I'd just say "sorry your friend doesnt like the restaurants we sometimes go to - why doesnt she join us afterwards for drinks at X? Understand if you would rather wait and meet when she comes too, but if not, table at Italians is booked at 7"

AlmostSummer21 Wed 04-Aug-21 18:12:57

YANBU she's welcome to come or NOT. The original group doesn't need a regular booking at a nuggets & chips venue to suit the new person. If she wants a regular group to go to nuggets & chips she can set it up.

& that's coming from someone with a very limited diet.

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lazyarse123 Wed 04-Aug-21 18:12:58

Just say you're still going they can come or not. How restricting when it's not a medical issue.

sounknown Wed 04-Aug-21 18:13:10

I can see both sides of this.. I have an eating disorder called AFRID whereby I always stick to my 'known' foods.
The thought of being out of my comfort zone terrifies me, and especially being around friends too as I feel the pressure. I find it extremely embarrassing but it's something I can't control.

Maybe this lady has the same thing.

Chibbles Wed 04-Aug-21 18:14:06

I have a friend like this. Only eats toddler food.

I really try to sympathise, I have aspergers and have some weird "quirks". But fuck me it gets on my tits when we can't EVER go somewhere nice, or when she sits with a bum face because the only thing she'll eat on a menu is chips.

There are some places I don't join the group, crowded bars and nightclubs. But I don't try to get them to change their evening, I just decline the invite, or go home before they go on to that place. But NO we have to change any restaurant we go to if there isn't beige crap on the menu.

FrownedUpon Wed 04-Aug-21 18:14:18

YANBU. I hate adult picky eaters & it’s really unfair when it affects where everyone else can eat. Don’t change where you’re eating.

TooWicked Wed 04-Aug-21 18:15:10

I wouldn’t be changing where we eat to accommodate someone that will only eat chicken nuggets and chips.

With such a restricted diet she (and her friend that added her to the group) will have to accept that sometimes she won’t be able to join you all.

Eileen101 Wed 04-Aug-21 18:15:10

"sorry to hear it, we look forward to you joining us at the next gathering".

On a side note, where on earth would you find chicken nuggets and chips on the menu for adults, except maccies? grin

RandomMess Wed 04-Aug-21 18:16:12

@sounknown do you accept that your friends will go out elsewhere because they get a lot of enjoyment out of eating the food they like or do you think they shouldn't ever have a meal out without you.

Would it be the same if one hated nightclubs and the rest love it, that the rest of the group would never go clubbing?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Wed 04-Aug-21 18:16:24

sounknown

I can see both sides of this.. I have an eating disorder called AFRID whereby I always stick to my 'known' foods.
The thought of being out of my comfort zone terrifies me, and especially being around friends too as I feel the pressure. I find it extremely embarrassing but it's something I can't control.

Maybe this lady has the same thing.

Do you make the whole group eat at a specific restaurant every time? Or do you acknowledge that your ARFID means yo come some times and not other.

VinylCafe Wed 04-Aug-21 18:17:00

I can understand not liking a particular menu and if my friends wanted to go to restaurant I don't like, I would make an excuse and say I'll join them next time. Really, if she's going to restrict her diet like that, then sometimes she won't be able to come. Does she have gastric problems?

mockingbirdi Wed 04-Aug-21 18:17:13

Eileen101

"sorry to hear it, we look forward to you joining us at the next gathering".

On a side note, where on earth would you find chicken nuggets and chips on the menu for adults, except maccies? grin



She usually just asks for an adult portion. I've known her only 4/5 weeks and already been to a LOT of different places where she's done exactly this

We do frequent Harvester/Toby Carvery type places quite often as a group, and the likes of independent fancier knock offs, which always seem to have chicken nuggets and chips And WKD and lemonade

OP’s posts: |
drpet49 Wed 04-Aug-21 18:17:27

* YANBU she's welcome to come or NOT. The original group doesn't need a regular booking at a nuggets & chips venue to suit the new person.*

^This

Hadalifeonce Wed 04-Aug-21 18:17:37

I would respond with something like 'that's a shame, maybe next time?'

MotionActivatedDog Wed 04-Aug-21 18:17:57

Just respond to the group chat “I’ll stick with Italian as that suits me”

I guarantee you others will then say “yeah me too.”

sounknown Wed 04-Aug-21 18:18:23

@RandomMess @BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz
Definitely understand that friends can eat out without me, I'd never make a fuss over that.

Atalune Wed 04-Aug-21 18:20:05

That’s rubbish!

I wouldn’t put up with it either. Fine occasionally if it suits, but one person dictating the places we go every time. No way. Very rude.

mockingbirdi Wed 04-Aug-21 18:20:15

She can't be that fussy as she likes a roast dinner, but says she just loves chicken nuggets above most stuff

Should also add she will eat whatever desserts are on offer at wherever, and likes little bits like olives

OP’s posts: |
RandomMess Wed 04-Aug-21 18:20:38

Exactly.

You can't expect the rest of the group only eat where works for one.

I have lots of food intolerances and it's a complete pain and accept sometimes I can't join in because there is nothing suitable in the menu.

I cannot imagine how tough if it is for those with allergies.

SarahAndQuack Wed 04-Aug-21 18:20:57

MotionActivatedDog

Just respond to the group chat “I’ll stick with Italian as that suits me”

I guarantee you others will then say “yeah me too.”

YY, definitely this.

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