Sending Mum's text messages

(109 Posts)
chestnutflower Fri 30-Jul-21 15:01:05

I know I need to teach my Mum to text but anyway

My Mum is in her late 50's and rubbish with technology, she can call people on her phone and send short text messages and look at her online banking and the weather forecast but that's about it.

I'm in my early 20's and still live at home with my parents so whenever my Mum wants to send more than a short text message she asks me to send it for her, so she'll tell me what to put and I'll send the text for her. I really need to teach her how to text don't I? I eventually at some point will want to move out from my parents and what will my Mum do then?

OP’s posts: |
LittleOwl153 Fri 30-Jul-21 15:04:28

Yep. You do. It is surprising how independent some of these older (though in her 50s isn't old!) Folks have learnt during lockdown as they've had to do if for themselves!

Feather12 Fri 30-Jul-21 15:04:47

what will my mum do then? She will just get on and do it. The only reason she doesn’t now is because she can ask you. Sending a long text is no different to sending a short one. The letters are all in the same place. Just stop doing it for her.

NouvelleMamanNouvelleVie Fri 30-Jul-21 15:05:48

What's your aibu?
Texting has been around for something like 25 years. Why do you need to text for her?

MrsN100 Fri 30-Jul-21 15:07:14

She's just lazy. She is in her 50s! Absolutely no excuse as to why she can't, she just won't.

gamerchick Fri 30-Jul-21 15:07:15

Tell her you'll watch her send the next one. She has to learn and if she can send a short one then it's not much different.

Cadent Fri 30-Jul-21 15:07:31

YANBU, tell her to practice sending longer texts to you so she can get used to it.


JaneJeffer Fri 30-Jul-21 15:07:43

She's just being lazy. Tell her to do it herself. My mother is in her eighties and is well able to use modern technology.

MaverickDanger Fri 30-Jul-21 15:08:29

It seems really strange that she can send a short message but not just type more. Sounds like it’s more laziness than anything.

You can get quite simple phones still, DH’s gran has one and she learnt how to text in her early 80s.

SephrinaX Fri 30-Jul-21 15:08:33

She's choosing not to learn how to do it. As long as you enable her by doing it for her she won't bother to learn. If you disappeared tomorrow I guarantee she'd learn pretty quickly.
Her age is not an excuse. 50s ain't that old!

Cadent Fri 30-Jul-21 15:08:57


What's your aibu?
Texting has been around for something like 25 years. Why do you need to text for her?

Her AIBU is: I need to teach my mum to text, don't I?

And there are many reasons why some people aren't comfortable sending long tests *poor typing skills, spelling/grammar issues etc). No need to be sneery.

BlueSurfer Fri 30-Jul-21 15:09:57

Can you talk into her phone for it to convert into a message?

2pinkginsplease Fri 30-Jul-21 15:10:27

I've got my 72 year old mum texting, using whatsapp and using google maps for her walks, but that's as far as my patience can go!

Y mum hasnt got a clue with technology at all. I write it all down for her and tell her to practice sending me and the kids messages and we go from there.

Wantingtogetitright Fri 30-Jul-21 15:11:18

This is ludicrous! Fair enough if she was 90. She’s AT IT!

chestnutflower Fri 30-Jul-21 15:11:56

By short text messages she can message ok or possibly a few words at most

OP’s posts: |
Reallybadidea Fri 30-Jul-21 15:13:47

Sending long text messages isn't really any more technically difficult to short messages, so presumably she finds the typing tricky? Maybe she would find sending voice notes via WhatsApp easier?

icedcoffees Fri 30-Jul-21 15:13:49

She can do it, she just finds it easier (quicker) to get you to do it for her.

My dad was similar when I lived at home - not with texts but uploading photos to Facebook. Strangely enough, as soon as I moved out he seemed to magically get the hang of it within a day grin

TakeYourFinalPosition Fri 30-Jul-21 15:14:07

My MIL had never text before I gave her a phone last year… now she can text fine and even uses emojis and sends photos. And she’s a lot older than your mum.

She needs to practice. It’s better for her to learn it now than to feel she’s lost a way of communicating with people when you’re not around.

If she can write okay; she can write other things - she’s just not, presumably because you are faster and willing to help.

kin432 Fri 30-Jul-21 15:15:45

My 80 year old mum finds sending WhatsApp messages easier than texting. Maybe worth trying as an alternative?

SillyLittleBiscuit Fri 30-Jul-21 15:17:00

If she can send a short message she can send a long one. My dyslexic friend uses the dictate microphone button for long texts.

Covetthee Fri 30-Jul-21 15:17:35

Surely checking online banking is harder than a message!?

What phone does she have?

If not an iphone or smart phone of some sort, can you get a second hand one, she can then dictate messages using voice or even send voice notes.

In this day and age, the basica of technology needs to be known imo, and 50 is very young to not know how to send a basic message

chestnutflower Fri 30-Jul-21 15:19:15

My Mum does use WhatsApp as well, she has an I phone 7 or 8

OP’s posts: |
onetwothreeadventure Fri 30-Jul-21 15:19:41

I don't live with my mum but she (in 70s) will ask me to send long texts for her if we're together - just because it would take her much longer and she'd have to get her glasses out etc! She can obviously do it herself but I don't mind helping her out. I'm sure it's something similar with your DM

YoComoManzanas Fri 30-Jul-21 15:22:11

Yanbu but it's not your responsibility. She presumably has all her mental functions. She is just not doing it because you are there. Leave her to it and let her know you won't be able to do this for her when you move out. Don't let her hold you back from living your life. 50s is young still.
My mum tried to learn to drive in her early 20s and gave up after failing her test a few times. She had my dad drive her round for 25years until he sadly and unexpectly died just over 10years ago. 3years later she passed her test in an automatic and has been driving around ever since. Even travelling around the country and on motorways. She is late 60s now.

IonaLeg Fri 30-Jul-21 15:24:27

She’s just being lazy. She’s in her fifties, hardly her dotage! My grandpa is nearly 90 and he has learned how to text. I’m assuming your mum doesn’t have a learning disability, of course, but there’s absolutely no reason why she can’t learn how to do it.

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in