To tell off someone else's child?

(160 Posts)
Wingingit573 Fri 30-Jul-21 12:03:15

There's a little boy at my daughter's playgroup who is 3 years old, My daughter is 17months.

He's obviously going through a phase of hitting, 3 weeks in a row he's hit my daughter and other children in the face with toys that are quite heavy.

His mum does absolutely nothing and just says oh dear in a sing song voice... while sitting on her phone hmm Today I told him no, that wasn't kind and he can't be hitting other children after he hit my daughter around the head with a scuttlebug.

His mum picked up on the fact that I'd told him no and was absolutely livid.
I wouldn't like to overstep and I know that all kids and probably my own will go through this phase.

Was I wrong to tell him no? I can just see his behaviour becoming worse and him really hurting another child!

OP’s posts: |
User5827372728 Fri 30-Jul-21 12:04:43

I would have done the same, 3 year old should be told not to hit.

Hopefully mum has learnt a thing or 2 from you

RavingAnnie Fri 30-Jul-21 12:05:36

Of course you were not wrong. He hit your daughter.

Booboosweet Fri 30-Jul-21 12:05:37

His mother sounds useless.

Notawriteryet Fri 30-Jul-21 12:05:42

It’s one thing to say “no” firmly and relive your child, but it’s quite another to tell him he can’t be around other children.

Wingingit573 Fri 30-Jul-21 12:07:11

Notawriteryet

It’s one thing to say “no” firmly and relive your child, but it’s quite another to tell him he can’t be around other children.

I never told him he couldn't be around other children..

OP’s posts: |
Cocomade Fri 30-Jul-21 12:08:54

Also would have done the same.
Mother's obv not arsed

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ISeeTheLight Fri 30-Jul-21 12:10:06

Oh I have a friend like this. She doesn't want to be negative or tell her child no hmm
We live different parts of the country now so rarely see them, I love her but I find it very difficult when her DC destroys my DDs toys. Her DC is a year younger than mine but has SEN; it's very hard and I'm not sure what the right reaction is in this case. I have taken toys off her DC before and told her not to break things.

That said a random child I would absolutely say no if they're hurting your child.

ItsSnowJokes Fri 30-Jul-21 12:10:31

Notawriteryet

It’s one thing to say “no” firmly and relive your child, but it’s quite another to tell him he can’t be around other children.

This is just making shit up! How on earth did you get that from the OP?!

Waxonwaxoff0 Fri 30-Jul-21 12:10:57

YANBU. If his mother had told him off herself I'd say YABU but obviously she didn't.

MyMabel Fri 30-Jul-21 12:12:09

@Notawriteryet not a reader either it seems grin
She didn’t say he can’t be around other children confused

Pottedpalm Fri 30-Jul-21 12:12:31

I think it’s fine to correct a child, but I suspect the majority view will be that reprimanding someone else’s child raises the hackles in the ( unobservant /neglectful ) parent.

QueenofKattegat Fri 30-Jul-21 12:12:40

Notawriteryet

It’s one thing to say “no” firmly and relive your child, but it’s quite another to tell him he can’t be around other children.

Where does OP say that? You've quite literally just made this up!

Wafflethefuckinwonderdog Fri 30-Jul-21 12:13:27

No little shit needs some boundaries

MandarinLime Fri 30-Jul-21 12:13:53

I think the voting says it all. Kids do hit sometimes but it's the parents' job to deal with it and stop it. Not sit on their arse and smile adoring.

greenlynx Fri 30-Jul-21 12:14:00

Of course you were right. He hit your child. What did she expect you to do? Give him a round of applause? You basically did her job for her telling him how to behave.

Shmithecat2 Fri 30-Jul-21 12:14:01

Notawriteryet

It’s one thing to say “no” firmly and relive your child, but it’s quite another to tell him he can’t be around other children.

Obviously Notareaderyet either confused

MandarinLime Fri 30-Jul-21 12:14:16

Adoringly

Conkergame Fri 30-Jul-21 12:15:14

YANBU but a parent who can’t be bothered to actually parent their kid probably also won’t take kindly to it. Just ignore or if you’re feeling brave say something like “I wouldn’t have to tell your child off if you actually looked after them”

Winemewhynot Fri 30-Jul-21 12:15:21

No you weren’t unreasonable at all. The mother has had plenty opportunities and done fuck all. You only said ‘no’ you didn’t go OTT, you corrected his behaviour and protected your child.

MarmaladeToastAndAMarmaladeCat Fri 30-Jul-21 12:16:01

Yanbu. I would have done the same. As if you would just sit there saying ‘oh dear’ and doing nothing if you saw your child hit a smaller one confused

twinmum86 Fri 30-Jul-21 12:16:03

I think that's fine and I'd expect the playgroup leader to back you up.

There was a child like this at a playgroup I went to and the mother was equally useless. I get that children do these things, but would expect a parent to tell the child no and pay a bit more attention from then on.

Planty13 Fri 30-Jul-21 12:16:32

If someone was getting hurt than I would absolutely say something if the parent did FA. I’d give the parent a couple of chances to step in first, which it sounds like you did.

Wingingit573 Fri 30-Jul-21 12:16:46

The kid is a nightmare, he just laughs at her when she says oh dear... Meanwhile my daughter is absolutely beside herself.

I'm not going to pretend that I don't have a breather when my daughter is playing etc, but I don't sit on my phone the entire time and completely ignore her undesirable behaviourhmm

OP’s posts: |
Embracelife Fri 30-Jul-21 12:16:48

Ignore her.
Remove your child saying very loudly

That was not very nice we don't hit other children do we

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