Insomniac bf. AIBU to be pissed off

(102 Posts)
wordrobber Wed 28-Jul-21 03:44:20

Just that. Bf is an insomniac . Our first holiday together. He is currently dozing on the couch as he can't sleep in our bed . Awake two hours now and it's beginning to grate . AIBU.

OP’s posts: |
wordrobber Wed 28-Jul-21 03:49:43

He has done this every night btw. Goes to bed with me , sleeps for a few hours and then goes to doze on sofa . He is careful not to wake me but it feels lonely . A dealbreaker !

OP’s posts: |
Sirzy Wed 28-Jul-21 03:50:55

So you would rather he lies in bed awake tossing and turning? Sounds like he is being very considerate moving to the sofa so you can sleep

Aquamarine1029 Wed 28-Jul-21 03:55:04

He's sleeping when you are sleeping, and he is considerate enough to not wake you when he moves to the couch, and this is a problem?

Are you having a laugh? Are you really this ridiculous? If you are, get over yourself.

Amdone123 Wed 28-Jul-21 03:56:15

I'm not sure what the problem is ! Why is it a deal breaker ? He sounds considerate to me.
I often find it difficult to sleep at night, so will pack my things ( dressing coat, glasses, phone), and go on the sofa.

LondonGrimmer Wed 28-Jul-21 03:57:19


Have you ever suffered with insomnia? It's bloody awful. Your bf sounds considerate

BarbaraofSeville Wed 28-Jul-21 04:03:33

Yeah, those of us wide awake in the middle of the night are selfish arseholes who've abandoned our partners if we get up to try and sleep elsewhere or have a drink before trying to sleep again hmm.

Like a PP says, the alternative is him tossing and turning next to you, which you really don't want, or him lying awake staring at the ceiling for hours on end.


Frogsonglue Wed 28-Jul-21 04:04:41

It's lonely? Get a grip!! I'm insomniac and it's hell. I move to the sofa most nights. Just consider yourself lucky you're able to sleep.

DewDew83 Wed 28-Jul-21 04:07:23


yellowsofa Wed 28-Jul-21 04:12:09

Poor guy. Best you leave him to find someone more considerate.

PomBearWithoutHerOFRS Wed 28-Jul-21 04:17:53

He goes to bed with you, is careful not to wake you, what more do you want?
It would be more lonely if he wasn't there at all!

z0fl0ra Wed 28-Jul-21 04:23:48

I think OP forgot that posting at 4am would mean a lot of her responses will be from fellow insomniacs grin

fourminutestosavetheworld Wed 28-Jul-21 04:26:25

It's a dealbreaker that he suffers a medical condition that means he wakes in the night, through no fault of his own?

If he was putting the light on to read, switching the tv on, or playing loud games on his phone - maybe.

But he goes to bed with you and takes himself quietly and considerately elsewhere when he wakes so as not to disturb you, and this is a dealbreaker?

You sound horrible. I hope he's in the process of deciding that your unpleasant attitude is the dealbreaker.

UnsuitableHat Wed 28-Jul-21 04:26:56

Insomnia is a condition and can make life feel quite difficult for the sufferer. It sounds as if your bf is trying to be considerate. It’s up to you to decide whether you can tolerate it, I guess.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult Wed 28-Jul-21 04:27:01

Lonely? When you're sleeping?

You should definitely chuck him so he can find someone more considerate and less needy.

UnsuitableHat Wed 28-Jul-21 04:27:54

@z0fl0ra yes - lol!

Sirzy Wed 28-Jul-21 04:28:05

Poor OP must have managed to fall back asleep!

Amdone123 Wed 28-Jul-21 04:31:40

@z0fl0ra, grin, thank you for making me laugh ! ( I am so pissed off at the moment because, well, you know, I CAN'T FECKIN SLEEP !!!!!!!)

tara66 Wed 28-Jul-21 04:34:06

Grow up.

Amdone123 Wed 28-Jul-21 04:34:39

@Sirzy, I was thinking that. Gets us lot even more riled up, then takes herself off to Cloud Cuckoo Land.
Life is unfair.

IonaLeg Wed 28-Jul-21 04:36:29

Sounds like he’ll be better off without you, you aren’t very understanding.

Is this a reverse? Wish mumsnet would ban them.

Megasausagehead Wed 28-Jul-21 04:36:34


I think OP forgot that posting at 4am would mean a lot of her responses will be from fellow insomniacs grin


Yer, erm, wrong audience.

wordrobber Wed 28-Jul-21 04:46:21

Thanks. Nope am still here . I see that I'm being inconsiderate and needed to be checked . Appreciate the responses .

OP’s posts: |
melj1213 Wed 28-Jul-21 04:47:49



If he was being inconsiderate in the early hours - turning on lights, making noise, turning on the TV in the bedroom, disturbing you etc - then YWNBU to be annoyed but he's trying to be considerate and you're still pissed off with him? What exactly do you expect him to do as he seems to be damned whatever he does?

owlbethere Wed 28-Jul-21 04:52:48

Dont suppose it’s much fun for him either.

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