Parents and property

(238 Posts)
Fedduup32 Wed 28-Jul-21 00:29:18

Please be kind I’m not in a good place at the moment mentally.

In my early 20’s my parents put a rental property in my name. Not all as good as it sounds. I’m in my 40’s now and because of this property was unable to get first time buyers mortgage when I was looking for my own place so didn’t get a good deal that I could have.

Over the years whenever I bring up any conversation it ends in my mum screaming at me and threatening to put the property in one of my siblings name instead. I’m really upset as I came to visit my mum with kids and mentioned our flat is too small and I would love to get a bigger place and asked her if i sold the property how much would I get so could use as a deposit so I can get a nicer place. She got unreasonable again which resulted in me screaming at her too, not a nice thing to be honest. In the end I managed to get info from her that the rental gets £70 profit a month so in 20 years of this I asked her if I can have my money and she starts screaming at me.

After a lot of shouting today I finally learnt truth from her that she only made me buy the property as her accountant told her it will make more sense money wise to put in one of the kids name as they would have to pay tax etc. I feel really used by her but also guilty that she’s my mum but I feel sad that she never thinks about me or any repercussions it has had in my future finances and opportunities.

She doesn’t even clearly talk to me about anything to do with the property. I don’t even know if it was hers first then she put in my name for tax or first time buyers rate. I just get made to feel unreasonable if I ask any questions. My siblings were there today as well and they made me feel I am causing trouble but also admitted they glad she didn’t put in their name as they would have missed out on first time buyers with their property. I just wa t answers from her but she threatens all sorts.

I’m lying here feeling bad I brought up the topic but why can’t she just have a conversation with me about it. I don’t know what she’s hiding as she gets defensive.

OP’s posts: |
Fedduup32 Wed 28-Jul-21 00:36:05

She has controlled me my entire life always making it out to be for my own good. I’m in such a bad place mentally right now that I don’t know if I’m being a horrible brat or if I’m finally sticking up for myself.

The thing is everytime I bring up the topic of the property she gets angry abd threatens sll sorts. Why can’t she calmly have a conversation with me? I feel so bad right now

OP’s posts: |
Freddiefox Wed 28-Jul-21 00:54:59

Well firstly if it’s in your name she can’t put it In one of your sibling names as it’s yours.

Tbh she sounds awful and I’d distance myself from her. The fact you missed out on first timer buyer is not ok.

MagnoliaXYZ Wed 28-Jul-21 07:01:16

If she's put it in your name, can't you just sell it?

LIZS Wed 28-Jul-21 07:04:29

You did not have to accept it though, you must have signed land registry paperwork. Whose name rents it out, if you then you should be declaring the income to hmrc. You could sign it back over and move on.

RainingZen Wed 28-Jul-21 07:06:46

Why don't you just sell it?! Think how satisfying THAT conversation with your mum would be. smile

RainingYetAgain Wed 28-Jul-21 07:09:34

From what you say, its yours to sell, so just do it. I'm more concerned about the rental income and the tax you should have paid. You'll have to pay capital gains as well I would have thought.
I know you are not in a good place but you need some legal advice I think.

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CloseYourEyesAndSee Wed 28-Jul-21 07:10:03

So it's yours? So you can sell it? She can't put it in someone else's name if it's yours!

Fairfeather Wed 28-Jul-21 07:11:35

I'm confused, you say it's their rental - but then you talk about selling it so you can buy a bigger place and asking them for your money from the rental profit.

Have you got any of your money invested in the property?

If it's in your sole name, there's nothing they can do in terms of transferring the property.

PotteringAlong Wed 28-Jul-21 07:12:09

So have you paid tax on it? Because you’re liable for it if it’s in your name…

You will also have to pay capital gains tax when you sell it.

EssentialHummus Wed 28-Jul-21 07:13:42

Is it solely in your name? Do your parents retain some sort of charge / any note on the Land Reg about an interest in it? I'd be paying £3 for the deeds as a first port of call.

Have you been submitting an annual tax return for it?

If she's being deceptive then I'd either (and this is the generous option) offer to sell it back to her, but she'll need to pay SDLT on the going rate (ie if you transfer it for £1 but it's worth £200k she'll pay on the latter figure), or let her know that if it isn't resolved soon you'll be selling it and keeping any proceeds - but that really is the nuclear option for your relationship I'd imagine.

Limitedhelp Wed 28-Jul-21 07:14:53

If it's in your name:
-She can't put in in one of your siblings name.
-You own that house. So you could sell it/rent it and take profit.

Tell her it's a burden you don't want and that since it was a gift, you are planning to sell it. See what she says then grin

fourminutestosavetheworld Wed 28-Jul-21 07:16:01

I think I'd need to hear your mums side of this story.

Is there a mortgage on the property, and whose name is that in?

If your name, you can do what you want with it. It's yours. What does your mum mean by £70pm profit in this situation?

If their name, then why did it stop you getting a ftb mortgage? If you are paying rent and are annoyed at the £70pm profit maybe consider whether you've been paying rent at a reduced rate.

So much of this doesn't add up. Is your mum cross because she's tried to keep you safely housed and now you're asking for £70pm x 20 years?

girlmom21 Wed 28-Jul-21 07:19:33

If you own the property you can sell the property.

fourminutestosavetheworld Wed 28-Jul-21 07:20:43

Oh wait, a rental property purchased in your name but rented out to other tenants (not you) and she receives £70pm profit from this?

In which case, you colluded to put this property into your own name to help your parents evade tax due. You always knew it was really your parents' property and that they would collect rent from tenants? Is the arrangement that it's your inheritance, early, to avoid inheritance tax? In which case I can understand why your mum is cross that you want to sell it.

Just give it back then. Transfer it back to your parents. But don't moan when they die and leave it to another sibling.

PotteringAlong Wed 28-Jul-21 07:20:43

@fourminutestosavetheworld I think there is a mortgage, it’s in the OP’s name which was done on the recommendation of the accountants for tax reasons. It’s rented out and returns a profit of £70 a month (although if they’ve had it for 20 years I’m surprised the mortgage isn’t gone and it’s not bringing back a lot more profit now), but her mum pockets that so the OP has never seen any of the benefits of owning the property, just the downsides.

LuaDipa Wed 28-Jul-21 07:21:01

It’s your house, she can’t do anything with it without your permission. I would see a solicitor if she continues to behave like this.

fourminutestosavetheworld Wed 28-Jul-21 07:22:22

LuaDipa

It’s your house, she can’t do anything with it without your permission. I would see a solicitor if she continues to behave like this.


Technically true but presumably morally wrong in the context of the original agreement.

LuaDipa Wed 28-Jul-21 07:24:17

fourminutestosavetheworld

Oh wait, a rental property purchased in your name but rented out to other tenants (not you) and she receives £70pm profit from this?

In which case, you colluded to put this property into your own name to help your parents evade tax due. You always knew it was really your parents' property and that they would collect rent from tenants? Is the arrangement that it's your inheritance, early, to avoid inheritance tax? In which case I can understand why your mum is cross that you want to sell it.

Just give it back then. Transfer it back to your parents. But don't moan when they die and leave it to another sibling.

Did you miss the part where her life is on hold as she is now unable to buy another property and has missed out on any ftb benefits? Her mother is still refusing to change any of this or discuss, even after 20 years and multiple requests from op.

Seriously, see a solicitor.

LuaDipa Wed 28-Jul-21 07:25:59

Technically true but presumably morally wrong in the context of the original agreement.

Agreed, but the mother’s behaviour is abhorrent and no amount of effort from the op is bringing about a change. This situation is detrimental to op and she needs to take action to bring about a satisfactory conclusion.

WaterBottle123 Wed 28-Jul-21 07:28:43

Sell it, using the money to pay off any tax you owe on it

Fedduup32 Wed 28-Jul-21 07:30:46

The mortgage is in my name. Their accountant does a tax return every year with my details. I often have to pay a small value to HRMC so they must be profiting. No the £70 she keeps and has kept. Everytime I’ve ever asked her any details she screams at me.

In past when I’ve asked DH to get involved his response is they’ve taken mortgage out in my name to profit from my first time buyers rate and Even though legally it’s mine in reality they think it’s their property. My parents are very controlling so it hasn’t been easy for me to stand up to them. They have the deeds I don’t, there’s paperwork every so often I sign when new tenants come but when I question them I get screamed at and questioned why I don’t trust them.

I grew up thinking this was normal but I’m so angry they’ve taken advantage of me. I’ve asked siblings to get involved as they must know more details than I do but they don’t want the hassle.

I need to get advice on all this.

OP’s posts: |
SaltySheepdog Wed 28-Jul-21 07:31:21

Work out how much you have lost out financially and sell her the flat minus the money owed to you.

SaltySheepdog Wed 28-Jul-21 07:34:29

What age were you when your parents got this mortgage in your name. Personally I’d speak to an independent solicitor and put an end to the situation while claiming the cash owed

Fedduup32 Wed 28-Jul-21 07:34:36

you colluded to put this property into your own name to help your parents evade tax due

Wtf? Exactly why I feel unable to ask anyone for help. I had no idea. It was sold to me that it was an investment and would help me when I got married. In reality I didn’t question them as I’ve been brought up thinking they know best and I know nothing. Please don’t turn this into something it isn’t. If you have t been controlled you have no idea what to think.

OP’s posts: |

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