AIBU for not giving my friend a lift home?

(407 Posts)
Acey68 Mon 26-Jul-21 20:05:30

My friend and I were at a mutual friends house to watch the WC final. I drove as I don't live too close (30 mins drive or so). My other friend lives a 15 minute bus ride away in the opposite direction to me and caught the bus there. She doesn't drive and planned to get an Uber home back to hers at the end of the night.
When the game finished and she attempted to get a taxi she noticed that the surcharge meant the taxi fare had doubled it's usual price. She asked me if I would mind giving her a lift home due to this, as she didn't want to pay the pricey taxi fare.
I said that I didn't really feel comfortable driving her home as I had 2 small glasses of wine over the course of the evening with a dinner, so was in that grey area where I was likely fine (felt fine) but for me I didn't want to spend longer in the car then I had to, just in case. She lives very centrally in the middle of a main high street with lots of pubs, bars and drunk people inevitably falling out of them and probably a higher police presence and traffic after the game and taking her home would have added 30 mins to my journey time.
I just wanted to get on the road and head back. I told her I would give her a lift to the bus stop and wait with her (once on the bus it takes her to her door in the middle of the high street she lives on, so no long walks) or offered to go halves on the taxi with her which she refused as she said the price was ridiculous and she wouldn't take my money for it.
She's been very off with me since and it came out the other day how disappointed with me, I am a selfish friend, she doesn't buy the excuse I gave, this shows I am only interested in myself and not helping others etc etc
As far as I see a lift is a favour not to be expected, and found myself having to justify why I didn't want to take her home. (She caught the bus in the end and it was fine)
We had a big fight and I'm upset and questioning myself now. AIBU?

OP’s posts: |
maxineputyourredshoeson Mon 26-Jul-21 20:07:56

Honestly for me, regardless of where she lives YWBU to use alcohol as an excuse you were either below the limit and safe to drive or you weren’t, for me no grey area.

violetbunny Mon 26-Jul-21 20:08:02

I don't think you were being unreasonable not to give her a lift if it was out of your way. If she planned to get an Uber, it shouldn't have been a surprise that the fare had gone up at that time.

However, I do agree the excuse you gave her was poor. You were either fine to drive, or not. No one should be driving if they think they may be over the limit.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere Mon 26-Jul-21 20:09:27

If I was driving I would always offer friends lifts over them using public transport. If they don't want to accept that's fine but I always offer.
I do think YWBa little bit U for not wanting to drive her home but being happy to drive yourself home, personally.

But unless you agreed a lift home in advance I think she's BU to have expected it from you, and to kick off about it weeks afterwards.

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee Mon 26-Jul-21 20:09:48

You are being unreasonable for drinking 2 glasses of wine and driving.

ShinyGreenElephant Mon 26-Jul-21 20:10:24

Yanbu to not give her a lift but your excuse was shocking - there's no grey area about drink driving. You're either fine to drive anywhere or you should have been getting a taxi too

OverByYer Mon 26-Jul-21 20:11:00

If you were that unsure about your ability to drive you shouldn’t drive.
Also if I was driving I would give a friend a lift rather than see them fork out for an expensive taxi ride. I’d be upset too.


RunnerDuck2020 Mon 26-Jul-21 20:11:05

If you’d had too much to drink you shouldn’t have been driving anywhere.

Ginger1982 Mon 26-Jul-21 20:11:10

YABU for drink driving.

Myneighboursnorlax Mon 26-Jul-21 20:11:20

YANBU for not wanting to give her a lift, and were very fair in offering to split the taxi or wait with her at the bus stop.

YABU for blaming the “grey area” of drinking. If you thought it was a risk to drive her home then you shouldn’t have driven yourself home either.

GetTaeFuck Mon 26-Jul-21 20:11:24

You’re a drink driver, YABVU.

Umbra Mon 26-Jul-21 20:11:43

YANBU. She's tight.

I wonder if she'd 'planned' for you to take her home all along...

BrutusMcDogface Mon 26-Jul-21 20:11:44

What the hell is the “grey area”?! Either you’re safe to drive or you’re not! Yabu for that.

neverknowinglyunreasonable Mon 26-Jul-21 20:11:47

If you don't think you should be driving then you shouldn't be driving. Either way I hope you get some closure, it can't be nice having this hang over you for three years.

Cam2020 Mon 26-Jul-21 20:11:58

You shouldn't have been driving at all in that case!

Xmassprout Mon 26-Jul-21 20:12:13

You was either too drunk to drive or you wasn't.

What you said to her sounded like a load of bullshit to be honest. If you didn't want to give her a lift you would have been better just saying so, rather than saying you was too drunk to drive her home but not too drunk to get yourself home

Antiqueanniesmagiclanternshow Mon 26-Jul-21 20:12:15

I would always give a friend a lift home. Driving isn't really a chore, the car does the work for you.
I wouldn't like to think of my friend on the bus late at night when i could give her a lift

The wine is such a rubbish excuse.

ladyvimes Mon 26-Jul-21 20:12:27

I don’t think YABU to not offer her a lift but if you were not ok to drive her home you were not ok to drive at all!! Doesn’t matter how far you are driving. If you were unsure if you were safe you should not have driven at all!!

MrsMillhouse Mon 26-Jul-21 20:12:34

Wtf??! You drove after drinking ?!

SteveArnottsWaistcoat Mon 26-Jul-21 20:12:49

Shittest excuse I’ve ever heard.

“I’m not giving you a lift home because I might be drink driving if I do, but I’m ok drink driving to my house.”

LtDansleg Mon 26-Jul-21 20:13:25

So you were sober enough to drive yourself home, but not her? How does that work?

LagunaBubbles Mon 26-Jul-21 20:14:52

I'm guessing you're not in Scotland? One glass would put you over the drink drive limit, never mind were either safe to drive therefore I would have gave her a lift or you weren't.

neverknowinglyunreasonable Mon 26-Jul-21 20:14:56

The more I re-read your excuse the more I can imagine Dominic Cummings saying it

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult Mon 26-Jul-21 20:15:09

"I'm not giving you a lift because there will be a lot of police near your house and I'll get caught drink driving, I prefer to do it slyly when I'm unlikely to be caught"

ArthurApples Mon 26-Jul-21 20:15:24

Yabu, you didn't want to give her a lift because it was more likely you'd get done for drink driving. Wow.

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