To tell another adult that its bad manners?

(212 Posts)
bluepompoms Sun 25-Jul-21 21:23:25

I am worried about this as don’t want kids to pick up on it.

DH is into cars, and knows a lot about them.

When we are out driving or if the TV is on and he sees a classic one or one like his or just one he likes he calls out. ‘Porsche!’ ‘Look, a Ferrari!’

Problem is he totally cuts across what you’re saying to do this. Even if it’s something important.

I’ve always hated it as you feel like a massive twat then pausing and resuming what you were saying, but AIBU to tell him it’s really bad manners? Worried about little DCs picking up on it and thinking it’s OK.

OP’s posts: |
MyShoelaceIsUndone Sun 25-Jul-21 21:30:19

It’s his thing, he sounds like he’s proud he knows about cars. Why fight it, embrace it

LauraFlashley Sun 25-Jul-21 21:32:39

Is he 8?

Buckleyourseatbelt Sun 25-Jul-21 21:35:33

Can’t believe you haven’t told him already.

messyhouse93 Sun 25-Jul-21 21:37:08

shock this could literally be written about my DH! He’ll just cut across a conversation with whatever thought pops into his head. I try to remind him (after the fact) that it’s embarrassing for me when he does that but I put it down to him having some anxiety and awkwardness around contributing to conversations.

Warrickdaviesasplates Sun 25-Jul-21 21:37:36

It sounds like something I'd tell my 8 year old off for doing so yes I'd definitely bring it up with him.

Maybe not in front of the kids or anything incase he gets embarrassed and defensive and it turns into an argument but if you're alone I'd just tell him that when he does that it makes you feel like he's not listening or doesn't care about what you're saying and how would he react if one of the children was constantly doing it to him?

LawnFever Sun 25-Jul-21 21:38:19

Why do you even need to ask? I’d have said something straight away.

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Shoxfordian Sun 25-Jul-21 21:38:43

He sounds very immature

MsVestibule Sun 25-Jul-21 21:39:07

Your DH isn't just 'another adult', he's your DH!! Of course you should tell him he's acting like an idiotic 9 year old!

SW1amp Sun 25-Jul-21 21:40:46

I think I do the same when I see a sausage dog blush

HoliHormonalTigerlilly Sun 25-Jul-21 21:41:37

Yellow car!!!!

EmoIsntDead Sun 25-Jul-21 21:41:48

Next time he doesn’t just shout “I DONT FUCKING CARE, I WAS TALKING!”

Alternatively just cut off the conversation al together. I do this when my mum interrupts me (all the bloody time) she usually gets the message.

Eleoura Sun 25-Jul-21 21:42:48

Does your DH have any learning or social issues that would make him think its acceptable to cut across people and point out car brands???

Why have you never mentioned this before to him?

Sockmonkeysloth Sun 25-Jul-21 21:45:17

HoliHormonalTigerlilly

Yellow car!!!!

Came to say this!

I’ll get in a car with you any day 😊

HummingBeeBox Sun 25-Jul-21 21:45:21

I've tried the same as DH just buts in all the time but I'm too late. Dd has picked up on it and does it to me too and I feel like an idiot. They then say 'well carry on then' and I look like a Wally as I quite often dig my heels in and refuse to and it's turned round to be my issue.

Try and stop it now while you can!

TooWicked Sun 25-Jul-21 21:47:30

Does he cut across other people, his colleagues, his boss, his parents? Or just you?

WimpoleHat Sun 25-Jul-21 21:53:08

I pointedly pause, glower and then carry on exactly where I was if anyone does that to me. It’s rather pass agg, I know, but it does seem to get the point across. And yes, it’s rude. As a one off, maybe - if it’s followed by an apology. But as a regular occurrence? No. And, as you say, not a good example to your kids…..

Jaichangecentfoisdenom Sun 25-Jul-21 22:01:30

It's a game we've played since our daughter was small (she's mid-twenties now) - we compete to be the first to shout "Smart" whenever we're driving along and see a Smart car. All our friends who've ridden in the car with one of us driving do this now, as well. Or is that not the same as in the OP?

bluepompoms Sun 25-Jul-21 22:08:18

I’d think you were really rude, if you want my answer there to be an honest one @Jaichangecentfoisdenom

‘I’m really looking forward to the -‘

‘SMART’

It would make me feel I’d better STFU as I’m clearly boring everyone. That’s how I feel when dh does it to me. I feel stupid and small. It’s not just the interruption but the fact that something else is clearly more interesting.

OP’s posts: |
percheron67 Sun 25-Jul-21 22:09:50

I hope he pronounces Porsche properly in front of the children.

bluepompoms Sun 25-Jul-21 22:10:18

Not really the point.

OP’s posts: |
EmoIsntDead Sun 25-Jul-21 22:29:33

percheron67

I hope he pronounces Porsche properly in front of the children.

I’ve hit peak Mumsnet 😂

Sally872 Sun 25-Jul-21 22:31:19

Every time it happens during an important conversation say.

"I couldn't care less about the car, you've just interrupted me, again."

NiceGerbil Sun 25-Jul-21 22:44:08

What's the line for noticing something and mentioning it? I was just remembering a thread about school rules and they must not turn around no matter what. And I said to DH what not even if a bomb goes off ?!

I'm not being silly- I'm from a family where speaking over each other constantly is the norm. DH was wtf when he first came round to my parents!

For me it's a learnt behaviour really embedded. I try hard at work not to just vocalise whatever pops into my head!

I mean in the end everyone surely has a thing they would mention seeing even if in conversation?

For me- I can't see the big deal. But that's not surprising is it!

OP is saying this that etc and so on
DH omg it's a Porsche!
Oh yes that's a nice one anyway this and that etc

It's like a 2 second thing?
I get that it annoys you but that's my genuine view.
Or is he banging on about it like ooh it's a 489 super with Harmony orange paint and a tingy blue interior and ... And bollocking on like that? If so different.

NiceGerbil Sun 25-Jul-21 22:47:19

bluepompoms

I’d think you were really rude, if you want my answer there to be an honest one @Jaichangecentfoisdenom

‘I’m really looking forward to the -‘

‘SMART’

It would make me feel I’d better STFU as I’m clearly boring everyone. That’s how I feel when dh does it to me. I feel stupid and small. It’s not just the interruption but the fact that something else is clearly more interesting.

Ah ok that's the problem then really I'd say and a different one.

He's excited to see the car.

That's it.

It's not a judgement on you or how interesting your conversation is. Almost certainly. Unless you think he's doing it on purpose. But there needs to be a certain car so that's unlikely.

Does he do it at other times when there's no cars on telly and you're not near a road?

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