Did I deserve this

(213 Posts)
Clappingforjoy Sun 25-Jul-21 15:06:06

Okay I am aware that I could be partly at fault.
A relation has recently bought a house and she was on Facebook showing off the new keys and generally saying how happy she is and how good her dh is. Her dh my dn is a hard worker good with saving etc I agreed and said yes your lucky he works hard and us good with moneyto which she said I'm not lucky we both contributed to the house.
I just said fair enough I hadn't meant it like that and I would say no more I was probably a bit sharp I see that now. Then I gets a comment off her 15 year old saying pity I haven't dropped in that luck with a laughing face did I do wrong and deserve this.

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Batfurger Sun 25-Jul-21 15:11:54


Clappingforjoy Sun 25-Jul-21 15:12:54

All said across Facebook

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DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult Sun 25-Jul-21 15:13:47

I don't understand the last bit about the 15 year old, but your post was rude and passive aggressive so you probably did deserve it

Howshouldibehave Sun 25-Jul-21 15:13:49

Can you type exactly what everyone posted?

Queynte13 Sun 25-Jul-21 15:14:41

It's possible they didn't understand what you said.

Notimeforaname Sun 25-Jul-21 15:14:47

What did the child say ? I cant figure it out..


SchrodingersImmigrant Sun 25-Jul-21 15:14:52



I think I got it.

The woman said how happy she is they have a new house and her dh is great to which op replied that the DH works hard etc.
To me it would sound like you were suggesting that it was bought because of her DH works hard. If that happened on my FB (though I rarely mention dh but if) I would not be as polite as her

QueenAdreena Sun 25-Jul-21 15:15:13

Well, if they both contribute to their family/income, the normal thing to do would be to say something like “Congratulations on your new house, you’ve both worked hard to get there, well deserved!” so yeah, sounds like you did deserve to be called out on it.

Stompythedinosaur Sun 25-Jul-21 15:15:27

Yeah, I think you were rude and quite sexist to ascribe the purchase of the house solely to her partner.

I remember the rage when we bought a house together and family members commented on dp "buying me a house".

The 15yo obviously should have stayed out of it.

Saucery Sun 25-Jul-21 15:15:52

You did come across a bit snide, tbh. No need for her 15yr old to carry on stirring it, but that’s the risk you take if you post something on FB that could be taken the wrong way.
No big deal, though, I’d just forget about it and move on. Maybe even delete your comment.

WillowGrand Sun 25-Jul-21 15:16:05

So basically the 15yo weighed in taking the mick that you didn’t land in money?

He’s being rude but yes you started it.

Cardinal rule of Facebook, nothing more controversial than “aw nice house hun”.

MargotEmin Sun 25-Jul-21 15:16:43

I don't understand your last sentence. But yes you were incredibly rude.

ToastandJamandTea Sun 25-Jul-21 15:16:43

It sounds like you were dismissive about her equal achievement and contribution to buying her home. You have no idea of their relationship dynamic or finances and you should have kept your opinions to your self.
If you were my DH aunty I would have told you the same!

Crimeismymiddlename Sun 25-Jul-21 15:17:24

You did deserve it unfortunately. It would have been much more normal to just say congratulations to them both.

Notimeforaname Sun 25-Jul-21 15:17:53

Yea you didn't need to tell her she's lucky he works and is good with money ..was weird to put it all across Facebook. It is implying shes getting a free ride in life.

Clappingforjoy Sun 25-Jul-21 15:17:55

I was praising my nephew basically and saying he is good with money and hardworking but his dp thinks that people are forgetting that she has contributed as well to the new house. So I explained it wasn't meant as just praising my nephew so their 15 year old says to me on Facebook its a pity I haven't been so unlucky

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Whyo Sun 25-Jul-21 15:17:58

It’s a really weird thing to sit and write, just say your congratulations and move on next time.

princesslarmadrama Sun 25-Jul-21 15:18:23

Yes you were very rude and need to apologise!

Clappingforjoy Sun 25-Jul-21 15:19:03

Lucky that should say

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SchrodingersImmigrant Sun 25-Jul-21 15:19:29

Nope. Still sounds like hou ignored her contribution.

milkytwilight Sun 25-Jul-21 15:19:31

Why is your first thought the fact theyve bought the house because the husband is a hard worker and good with money??

MzHz Sun 25-Jul-21 15:19:48

“Sorry my post was badly worded! What I meant was a HUGE congratulations to you both! Lots of luck and happiness for all of you!”

Would this help?

Bollindger Sun 25-Jul-21 15:19:53

I think what you meant And how it read were not the same.
If you didn't mean to be rude, take it on the chin and walk away.

Clappingforjoy Sun 25-Jul-21 15:20:35

I was just following on from previous messages really where she was agreeing with people that yes she is lucky he is a keeper I didn't mean it the way it was taken

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