Mixing with deprived children?

(330 Posts)
Thisneedsachange Sat 24-Jul-21 20:04:55

I’ve changed my name for this but long term mumsnetter. I had a very sheltered but working class background, but mum was a social worker so I was sent to holiday clubs where she was working - with children from very deprived backgrounds and on child protection plans. My life experiences changed when I got a scholarship to private school and it’s been a middle class bubble since then - but I think those early exposures to how tough life can be for some gas the making of me. It’s made me more compassionate, more politically aware and I’ve volunteered since a teen working with deprived children.
My own 5 year old daughter has a very sheltered existence and so I’m thinking of sending her to a free church holiday club at the church I grew up with for a week this summer. It’s free because it’s a very deprived ward. We do have one friend who will go so she will be fine. As a child some things I was exposed to in these schemes aimed at deprived children really shocked me - bad language, bad behaviour, unhappy families..but by my teens I understood what was going on.
Am I unwise to consider this?
I contribute to the funds (although we don’t worship there as not Christian) so not concerned about taking financial advantage, just wondering if I should wait until my daughter is older to have these experiences?

OP’s posts: |
QueenBee52 Sat 24-Jul-21 20:08:01

hmmmmm 🤔

Elys3 Sat 24-Jul-21 20:08:05

I would give it a try provided she can go with a friend.

Pinkmagic1 Sat 24-Jul-21 20:09:48

I wouldn't. By sending your daughter you would be taking a place from one of them deprived children. Numbers will be limited and these type of clubs might be a lifeline for some families and a respite for some children from chaotic homes.

idontlikealdi Sat 24-Jul-21 20:10:10

I don't like the tone of what you've written, and I wouldn't take a space away from a kid who actually needed it.

shouldistop Sat 24-Jul-21 20:11:26

Deprived children aren't there to educate your child. Your post has made me feel quite uncomfortable actually.

Hoppinggreen Sat 24-Jul-21 20:11:32

“deprived” children are not a learning experience for your child.


Kitkatchunkyplease Sat 24-Jul-21 20:11:37

I hear what you're saying but these children aren't a learning moment for your daughter.

Mistressofnone Sat 24-Jul-21 20:12:06

Could you go along to volunteer as an assistant and have your daughter join during the day activities?

Saucery Sat 24-Jul-21 20:13:10

Ooh, a Poverty Safari! Go for it! hmm

Crabbitcrab Sat 24-Jul-21 20:13:35

It's a free club for those who need it not a petting zoo for mc children

ASandwichNamedKevin Sat 24-Jul-21 20:13:41

This sounds so patronising and you should be concerned about taking financial advantage as you would be depriving another child of the space. There are plenty of ways to teach your children that they are fortunate.

Etsylicious Sat 24-Jul-21 20:15:09

Don’t take the place away from someone who needs it.

I agree with others, your motivations are off :/

Port1aCastis Sat 24-Jul-21 20:15:12

Jesus Christ OP
Cannot believe you wrote such patronising crap

staryrainbows Sat 24-Jul-21 20:15:17

This is awful.. what do you expect a 5yr to gain from this? I doubt your child would even notice there's any difference between them.

Maybe just teach your child value, acceptance and kindness rather than take up a space for a child who would really benefit from it.

LizzieVereker Sat 24-Jul-21 20:15:23

Wow. Please don’t take a place from a family who might really need it.

Toottooot Sat 24-Jul-21 20:15:28

Oh look darling - look at these poor little deprived children. Aren’t we better than them.

chunderwunder Sat 24-Jul-21 20:15:55

I know you're coming from a good place here, OP, but there's more than a whiff of sending your kid off to watch the poor people in their natural environment. It's very, very patronising.

Rollercoaster21 Sat 24-Jul-21 20:17:19

This post is really awful. It’s like saying deprived kids are somehow like a circus freak show 🙄 So wrong

Superfoodie123 Sat 24-Jul-21 20:17:22

Oh what a great educated mum you are 👏

Nowsingleagain Sat 24-Jul-21 20:17:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ozanj Sat 24-Jul-21 20:18:00

Don’t. You’ll be taking a place away from someone who probably needs it. Kids from deprived backgrounds tend to spiral into addiction / crime much more quickly without access to clubs like this. So you should definitely keep your dd away. I think if you want her to get to know a bit more about the realities of life then get her volunteering or raising money / goods for your nearest food bank. My neice has shown some real mettle (that none of us knew she had) by some of the fundraising she has done.

ObviousNameChage Sat 24-Jul-21 20:18:29

Would a child miss a space because of your DD?

I feel very uncomfortable with using deprived children as a learning opportunity for your DD.

Why don't you just talk to her about it? Watch news stories, tell her stories from grandma's work, expand your social circle, volunteer for some charities and see if you can take her with you, visit animal shelters and expand from that, help her raise money for various charities, take her with you to deliver food or toys or donate to the food bank etc.

FourTeaFallOut Sat 24-Jul-21 20:18:34

Fuck me. No, don't go nicking a free childcare place so you can have your child mingle with the poor.

Westfacing Sat 24-Jul-21 20:18:38

How would a five year old know she was mixing with deprived kids and learn anything from the experience? She would just be playing with some new pals for a week.

Very patronising idea.

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