DP and I are having a baby, currently 15 weeks. We both really wanted it, had IVF (which failed) and then fell pregnant naturally 2 months later. So it was a bit of a surprise, but welcome. I think he’s struggling to get his head around it now though as he never really brings it up. He’s incredibly tired with work though so that might just be it.
So...
I recently left my shitty job and now really don’t earn much at all. About 20% of what he earns probably. This is fine, it suits me to work less (I have other kids so am happy to be at home with them more), esp when pregnant. After leaving my job I got a notice through saying that I could actually take out my pension contributions now. We talked about it and I decided that it might be good to use the money to buy some of the bigger baby items. He supported that decision, but just to be clear, he was more on the side of keeping the money in there (it’s not loads of money, but enough for a pram/crib/reusable nappies or towards renovating the bathrooms/bedroom to accommodate the baby which will have to be done soon).
At about the same time, he got a bonus from work. A similar amount. He is going to buy a motorbike with it. Biking is his hobby, he swapped his bike about a year ago though for a car, and I know his intention has always been to buy another one, so I’m not questioning that, just the timing really.
This could be my pregnancy hormones getting the better of me, but is this distribution of funds really fair?
So, would I be unreasonable to ask him to hold off with the bike until he gets another bonus (Theyre quarterly) so we can focus our funds on more immediate matters?
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AIBU?
Would this annoy you or am I being unfair?
75 replies
Poppoppogo · 24/07/2021 10:05
OP posts:
Am I being unreasonable?
362 votes. Final results.
POLL
You are being unreasonable
26%
You are NOT being unreasonable
74%
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