Rude of school mums or not ?

[bto35]

Today is the last day of school for my child is in reception

We have a class WhatsApp group and a couple of days ago a message popped up saying is everybody still coming to the park on the last day of school and what food should they bring?

This is the first that I heard of it. For some context there is a park near the school that I select five parents visit because they live near there on the way home from school so you have to kind of be invited to go there with them and so far I never have been I know have a lot of other parents either so I know this is not just something personal to me on my child

Anyway there was backwards and forwards messages on the class WhatsApp group which does have 30 parents on there and about five are participating in the excitement of bringing cheese sandwiches in Tesco finest and then it all went quiet

What is irritating me about this is that I know for a fact a group invite has not been put out to say hey guys it’s the last day of term our children have gone for reception together everybody is invited instead it’s only for the park group if you like but she put it out to everybody to see on WhatsApp by saying is everybody still coming to the park when not everybody was actually even invited ?!

I just find this really rude as I know I’m not the only parent that’s reading these messages knowing full well that we never knew anything about this and I’ve not been included or invited and I just feel because it was the last day of term for the whole class it would’ve been nice for it to be inclusive to everybody

It’s so ironic to me that the two women that do this kind of behaviour are the ones that represent themselves for class WhatsApp group leaders for the PTA for the fundraising and even for the collection of money and for the teachers gifts yet they’ll take your money but don’t invite you to the park just seems really odd

Am I too invested to be annoyed ? Should I have pointed out that it hasn’t been a class invite so ‘ is everyone still coming’ doesn’t actually mean that

[rainbowfairydust]

I'd have definitely said 'oh I must have missed the class invite, what time are you going? We will see if we can make it'.... And then reply later saying sorry we had to divert off and make up an excuse... Call them out on the shitty behaviour!

[Dorisdaydream2]

Its very rude, but in my experience very common. Get used to it and step away.

[LimitIsUp]

Its fine for 5 'park mums' who regularly go to their local park together to arrange for their families to hang out, and not to include everyone else of the last day of term - but don't post it on the whole class whatsapp. Discuss separately on a separate whatsapp chat. So yes, it was rude to rub everyone's else noses in it rather than discreetly organise

[Seafog]

You are way too invested, emotionally

[chunderwunder]

Don't sweat it OP. I recently discovered the existence of a WhatsApp group for everyone in my kid's year. Apart from me seemingly

[Pumperthepumper]

You need to either get involved or take a step back. They’ve sent a public message so it’s obviously not a secret meeting, if you want to go reply and ask what you can bring. Or don’t go, but don’t sulk.

[Faranth]

I reckon they sent a message to the wrong chat / group. That's why it's gone quiet - theyve moved the conversation back to the 'Park mum' chat.

Either ignore, or rock up on the last day with a pack of sausage rolls.

Ooh. Or, create a subversive alternate Park mum group with some of the other parents and rock up on the last day with... I don't know... Sushi and a huge cake and sparklers or something!

[bto35]

That’s what I thought , as I think we are all aware that certain parents like to visit the park after school on the walk home but this I feel was taking the piss ‘ is everyone still coming ‘ and just it being the last day … of a unusual first year of school for all our kids … quite sad actually to end on that note .

I’m surprised nobody has said anything, I’m fighting the urge strongly not too on the wattsapp

[Pumperthepumper]

Why would they have a top secret private group outing that you have to be invited to……….at the local park everyone goes to and knows about anyway?

[TeenMinusTests]

I'm struggling a bit with you feeling you have to be invited to go to the park just because it isn't on your direct route home.

But otherwise just mentioning it on a class group without having previously organised it is weird.

[bto35]

Trust me it wasn’t put on the wrong chat group it was quite obvious for this chat. There was a flurry of messages between a 5/6 parents on when to meet and what food they was bringing .. and now messages from parents who had to dash off for whatever reason .

[Pumperthepumper]

@bto35

That’s what I thought , as I think we are all aware that certain parents like to visit the park after school on the walk home but this I feel was taking the piss ‘ is everyone still coming ‘ and just it being the last day … of a unusual first year of school for all our kids … quite sad actually to end on that note .

I’m surprised nobody has said anything, I’m fighting the urge strongly not too on the wattsapp

What would you say?

[WildWestWanda]

Are you cross because it was put on the wrong group or because you weren’t invited?

[CheeseCrisis]

Chunderwunder, two of the class WhatsApps (in two very different styled schools) I'm on are like that. Schools DO NOT want them to exist at allllllllll so don't point out the people running them so it's so easy to get missed off. One of them has nearly 80 parents on it but only by word of mouth!

[BornIn78]

You're too invested.

It's obvious that it's accidentally been posted into the wrong group.

Next year maybe you could organise something for the whole class to celebrate the end of the school year, instead of waiting for someone else to do it and invite you.

[bto35]

What I felt I should have said is - oh is that what everyone is invited too on the last day ? I didn’t hear about it ? Can we come ! What time … obvious Sarcasm

There are 30 mums on the wattsapp. Nobody has pointed out that actually not everyone was invited . They recently sent out a message to all for a £10 donation to the teachers end of term gift so clearly know how to address us all in a group format …

[Pumperthepumper]

@bto35

What I felt I should have said is - oh is that what everyone is invited too on the last day ? I didn’t hear about it ? Can we come ! What time … obvious Sarcasm

There are 30 mums on the wattsapp. Nobody has pointed out that actually not everyone was invited . They recently sent out a message to all for a £10 donation to the teachers end of term gift so clearly know how to address us all in a group format …

Why would you be deliberately sarcastic? What outcome are you hoping for?

Have you ever arranged a group outing for everyone? Do you spend much time talking to the other parents?

[Jangle33]

Might not be the wrong chat maybe they are happy for everyone to join. You just sound a bit jealous and precious OP

[chunderwunder]

@CheeseCrisis

Chunderwunder, two of the class WhatsApps (in two very different styled schools) I'm on are like that. Schools DO NOT want them to exist at allllllllll so don't point out the people running them so it's so easy to get missed off. One of them has nearly 80 parents on it but only by word of mouth!

That's interesting. Why don't schools want them to exist?

I'm not really up on them tbh. Obviously I know that such things must exist but because my school didn't have one (or so I thought ) I didn't think they were that common.

[Souther]

@bto35

Trust me it wasn’t put on the wrong chat group it was quite obvious for this chat. There was a flurry of messages between a 5/6 parents on when to meet and what food they was bringing .. and now messages from parents who had to dash off for whatever reason .

Why don't you invite everyone yourself?

Maybe a separate meeting or at the same time. A park can fit more than 5 families.

[Braveheart35]

I would have just replied (and I have previously in similar class situations),

‘Oooh what a lovely way to end the year for the kids, anybody else coming along?’

[TSSDNCOP]

I do love it when the wrong message winds up on a group WhatsApp.

Are they styling it out and pretending it's all inclusive and has been all along, or desperately trying to work out their message on the channel they should've posted before posting again on the Group.

Either way, they've blown their cover and at least you've written confirmation they're arses.

[ThePlantsitter]

I know this sort of excluding thing does happen but I don't think this is one of those times. I think someone was having a conversation in the playground. and continued it - clumsily - on the WhatsApp group, or has talked about it at another time.

Just go if you want and your kid would enjoy it. You can decide to be annoyed if you want but it really doesn't get you anywhere.

[Jasmine11]

@bto35

What I felt I should have said is - oh is that what everyone is invited too on the last day ? I didn’t hear about it ? Can we come ! What time … obvious Sarcasm

There are 30 mums on the wattsapp. Nobody has pointed out that actually not everyone was invited . They recently sent out a message to all for a £10 donation to the teachers end of term gift so clearly know how to address us all in a group format …

I'm not sure to be honest - if no one else apart from those 5 mums said anything on the group chat then I guess they thought no one else was interested 🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm kind of a bit hmm about you not saying anything but then bitching about it on mumsnet. You chose not to say anything so that's on you. I'm not saying these people are not cliquey but I'm sure they probably have their own separate WhatsApp so by putting it on the group chat they were opening things up.

[Pumperthepumper]

I honestly wonder how some of you function if you’re always on the lookout for someone to take against. It’s a group of kids and parents meeting in a park, what would happen if you appeared with your kids? Would they throw stones at you? Or would you all just make conversation until the kids wanted home? What’s the big deal?