Is this weird (wee-ird) potty etiquette?

(22 Posts)
TamborineMan Thu 22-Jul-21 12:42:55

So I’m new to the area and trying to make friends with others mums with toddlers. I’ve gotten to know a couple of mums from playgroup and we’ve started going to each other’s houses to sit in garden, drink tea and let our (3yo) kids play.

Names changed to protect the ‘wee’ ones.

At mine the other day, one of the mums “Barb” asked me “have you got a potty that little Suzie can use?” and I said yes, in the kitchen. I showed little Suzie and Barb stayed put in the garden. Suzie did a wee and we went back outside. Barb asked Suzie “was it a wee or a poo?” And Suzie confirmed it was a wee. Barb didn’t move a muscle.

Is that the norm, or should Barb have offered to empty the potty? The play date only lasted another half hour and I actually didn’t get round to emptying it so it was still there when she finally did stand up.
As they were leaving Barb asked Suzie if she needed the potty again before they went off in the car, so I doubt she just forgot about it.

Barb is allowed in the house btw, she came in to wash her hands and help carry out the mugs, and another mum used our bathroom, so it’s not a covid house thing.

YABU - you own the potty, anything in it is your problem
YANBU - parents should deal with whatever their toddler puts in a potty, regardless of whose potty it is

Ps this is lighthearted, I am not losing sleep over it. Merely curious.

OP’s posts: |
TheCanyon Thu 22-Jul-21 12:44:20

That's weird yes, barb should definitely have cleaned out the potty.

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl Thu 22-Jul-21 12:46:43

She made you take her kid to the potty and then didn't offer to clean it up?

ItsSunnyOutside Thu 22-Jul-21 12:50:38

Yes, Barb should have definitely emptied the potty!

SleepingStandingUp Thu 22-Jul-21 12:50:52

At 3 its weird she didnt just take her to the loo surely? But yes, as Mom id have supervised in case she knocked it over etc and then emptied it

SleepingStandingUp Thu 22-Jul-21 12:51:12

Also can you put the potty in the bathroom for next visit?

whatinthenameofhen Thu 22-Jul-21 12:52:00

Barb is weird and rude


Freshprincess Thu 22-Jul-21 12:58:02

If you took the child inside I would assume that you emptied it, tbh.
However I would have taken my child in myself and offered to clean it up. If I know you have a downstairs toilet I would probably just chuck it down there, I’d ask before going upstairs as I wouldn’t want guests seeing all the mess I’ve hidden on the landing

TamborineMan Thu 22-Jul-21 12:59:57

Thanks. I thought as much.
We have a potty in the kitchen and in the bathroom as our only bathroom is upstairs. My son rarely uses it but there it remains from potty training days.

I could hide the downstairs one next time so she has to take Suzie upstairs.

Barb is one of these super confident mums, Suzie is her third and she gives the rest of us a lot of (unsolicited) advice on child rearing, so I thought maybe this is normal or a sign she considers me a good friend or something. But I’ve known her all of two months and we are not close, so it sat funny with me.

OP’s posts: |
tallduckandhandsome Thu 22-Jul-21 13:03:13

Eew. (Wee backwards(

I would be making some ‘Barbed’ comments.

SlothinSpirit Thu 22-Jul-21 13:18:07

I would take my own child to the potty and would empty it afterwards. The issue would never had arisen because (like most normal parents) I would not have expected another mum on a playdate to deal with toileting for my child while I was around.

However, if someone was taking my child to use the potty (friend giving me a break, grandparent, child's aunt), I would assume that they would empty it.

Hallyup6 Thu 22-Jul-21 13:54:43

If you took the child to the potty then I'd assume that you'd empty it tbh, however I'd have taken my child there myself.

cabingirl Thu 22-Jul-21 14:00:16

She probably assumed you had already dealt with it as she didn't go in with her child.

youdoyoutoday Thu 22-Jul-21 14:12:29

Barb is a lazy cow, isn't she?
I'd have emptied it and cleaned it but then I'm kinda normal

SleepingStandingUp Thu 22-Jul-21 14:33:47

Did you stay with Suzie?

GreyhoundG1rl Thu 22-Jul-21 14:35:36


Also can you put the potty in the bathroom for next visit?

This would have seemed sensible from the off...

TamborineMan Thu 22-Jul-21 21:09:20

I didn’t really go with Suzie, I just showed her where it was. Then she sits down, and I poured some drinks for the kids, and expected her mum to turn up at any second. But Suzie finished, pulled up her pants and trotted outside again.

OP’s posts: |
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland Thu 22-Jul-21 21:14:57

Barb is weird. So no one helped suzie wipe?! Poor kid is going to be getting a lot of water infections.

I would deal with any toileting with my child.

But if the other parent wasnt I would, like I would have emptied the potty & rinsed it immediately but that's just me.

bettercalljimmy Thu 22-Jul-21 21:22:20

YABU to have a potty in your kitchen 🤢

SleepingStandingUp Thu 22-Jul-21 21:24:07


I didn’t really go with Suzie, I just showed her where it was. Then she sits down, and I poured some drinks for the kids, and expected her mum to turn up at any second. But Suzie finished, pulled up her pants and trotted outside again.

See at that point I'd have called one of them to grab the drinks whilst i went to sort out the potty. I wouldn't have left a potty full of pee in my kitchen waiting to see if the Mom who hadn't come to wipe her would miraculously appear

georgarina Thu 22-Jul-21 21:27:41

Weird situation...I think she was unreasonable not to go in with her daughter and check she was ok. Also not to double-check and wash out the potty.

Did she wash out the potty when they used it the second time?

AnUnoriginalUsername Thu 22-Jul-21 21:32:59

Mines far too young but I really didn't expect a 3yo to be weeing in a potty in the kitchen and not wiping themself. Is that standard?

I also think it's wierd that she left you to deal with her kids wee. Not even a case of offering, I wouldn't offer to pick up my dogs shit, I just would, because it's my dog.

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