Advice needed. Messed up first impression.

[OttilieStonelady]

Interviewing for a job tomorrow. Had a catch up call with the man who will be interviewing me today just to find out more about the role. He asked about my skillset and I was a over the place. Couldn't get my words out and came across really nervous. All because I had a loss in the family yesterday (aunt's husband who I've called uncle for 20 years) and had just spoken to my aunt. Do I email now to say thank you, and explain why I was all over the place? WIBU to do this or should I just accept that I messed up. I should have rescheduled or explained at the beginning but I am not in a good state of mind today and really didn't want to come across as flakey. What to do now?!

[OttilieStonelady]

Panicking 😩

[Bluntness100]

Please just leave it op and focus on the interview. He doesn’t need to know personal circumstances.

I’m really sorry for your loss 💐

[WinterSunglasses]

Email him and explain it. Say you haven't been at your best today but will be aiming to show exactly what you can offer in the interview tomorrow.

I bet it wasn't as bad as you think. Sorry for your loss.

[OttilieStonelady]

@Bluntness100

Please just leave it op and focus on the interview. He doesn’t need to know personal circumstances.

I’m really sorry for your loss 💐

I came across like a total mess. I couldn't even explain my job role properly.

[Bluntness100]

You can pull it back tomorrow at interview, I’d really not be sending him emails telling him about yout personal,life. I’m sorry. It will not make you look better.

[PippaRose]

I’d agree with leaving it and focus on the interview.

Sorry for your loss and good luck for tomorrow

[Sciurus83]

Leave it and focus on tomorrow, it will be fine

[Reallybadidea]

@Bluntness100

You can pull it back tomorrow at interview, I’d really not be sending him emails telling him about yout personal,life. I’m sorry. It will not make you look better.

Yeah, I agree with this. You need to change his mind about you, not come across like someone who makes excuses for poor performance. And I really don't mean that to sound harsh and I'm so sorry for your loss, but I think that's how it could come across.

[Carrott21]

I would email back or even speak to him. Deep breath, and just say you've had a sudden death in the family and this obviously had an impact on your telephone call earlier. You felt you needed to explain as you obviously weren't firing on all cylinders. Or something.

[TheProvincialLady]

I agree with those saying don’t contact with excuses for what you perceive as poor performance. Just put your best foot forward tomorrow. In most places these informal chats count for nothing unless you are obviously rude etc and the interviewer has to go with the person who scores the best. You will be fine.

[OttilieStonelady]

Ok thanks everyone. Good advice. It was pretty bad though!!

[saltinesandcoffeecups]

Start the interview with a quick “I want apologize for yesterday. I wasn’t at my best due to finding out about a death in the family earlier in the day. I obviously didn’t put my best foot forward and hope to change your impression of me. If you don’t mind I’d like try again to answer your earlier question about my current role”.

Then jump in and wow them with your resilience.

As a hiring manager I would like to know if something like this was going on. I won’t lie, it would be something that would factor in to my decision but it could both be a positive or a negative depending on how you recovered from it.

[Aprilx]

@OttilieStonelady

Ok thanks everyone. Good advice. It was pretty bad though!!

Don’t do anything other than focus on the meeting tomorrow. I don’t think trying to explain yourself is likely to come across well. Style it out.

As an aside, what a strange process, why did you have this “pre interview” meeting anyway?