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AIBU?

To think she needs taking aside

112 replies

Iamthequeen82 · 24/06/2021 19:43

Work in a school kitchen.
Have this one lady who for some reason cannot get her appointments out of work time. We work 9-2. A few years ago she needed a cosmetic dental treatment, during work time, line manager said no, so she went about their head spoke to the head teacher who let her have the time off (paid). Another colleague wanted to go to a funeral but was told no, she just accepted it and that was that. This one lady always has to have blood tests, X-rays etc etc (nothing wrong with her). I’m feb she had a minor op and was off for 4 weeks paid. I’m April her dad died so 2 weeks off (totally 100% behind that and support the time off) paid. Last week she told line manager on Friday she might be half an hour late as she had a smear booked in for 8.30 Monday morning. Line manager just said ok, as felt it was too late to get her to change it. Monday morning comes round, gets to 10am still no sign, line manager goes into office and lady had txt them to say “app changed to 10.30 will be in later” in she waltzes at 11.15 no apology or naff all. And nothing has been said to her or anything. I feel it’s unfair on us that abide by the company rules. One colleagues daughter is going to hospital app alone, another has arranged her mammogram for out of works time. I’m just really fed up with the injustice of it.

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

664 votes. Final results.

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You are being unreasonable
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You are NOT being unreasonable
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MumBowJumBow · 24/06/2021 19:47

You don't know what's going on behind the scenes, I'd be surprised if nothing was happening

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cardibach · 24/06/2021 19:47

This one lady always has to have blood tests, X-rays etc etc (nothing wrong with her). I’m feb she had a minor op and was off for 4 weeks paid
This makes no sense OP. You don’t get an x ray if the doctor doesn’t think there’s anything wrong, and you definitely don’t get an operation. You seem a bit judgemental and jealous.

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SultanOfSwing · 24/06/2021 19:50

Absolutely none of your business.

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romdowa · 24/06/2021 19:51

Yabu when you are dealing with the NHS it can be quite difficult to get your chosen time. You usually have to take what ever appointment they allocate you and if you turn it down then you could be waiting a long time for another slot. She wouldn't be given these appointments unnecessarily.

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JellyTumble · 24/06/2021 19:53

It’s absolutely none of your business.

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CaptainMyCaptain · 24/06/2021 19:55

You don't get to decide whether there's something wrong with anybody or not.

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Iamthequeen82 · 24/06/2021 19:56

No, trust me, she insisted there was something wrong about 4urs ago, got a full body mri scan because she was at the doctors all the time and the results came back that there was nothing wrong with her, she even openly told us that. And I wasn’t questioning the operation what I’m peed off about is that everyone else can manage to get appointments out of work time as our contract states, but she can’t. I had my smear and it really wasn’t hard to ask for it after 3pm (to give me time to get home
For a quick shower). Certainly not jealous, and as stated fully support some of the time off, but feel that the making app in works time that aren’t emergencies is taking the mick. Ladies I work with miss sports days and assemblies of their little ones. You get a job in a school and you understand that because you have 13 weeks off a year and it’s not 9-5 you work round that.

OP posts:
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TulipCat · 24/06/2021 19:58

I am with you OP. In general, non-essential appointments can be arranged outside of part time working hours. It's a question of priorities.

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DroopyClematis · 24/06/2021 19:59

I'm with you too.

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QueenofDestruction · 24/06/2021 20:03

But why would you take her aside, it really has nothing to do with you. You are not her manager and if you need time off you talk to your manager about your time, Taking someone 'aside to talk about their appointments, which has absolutely nothing to do with you,verges imo into bullying.

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Aprilx · 24/06/2021 20:03

@Iamthequeen82

No, trust me, she insisted there was something wrong about 4urs ago, got a full body mri scan because she was at the doctors all the time and the results came back that there was nothing wrong with her, she even openly told us that. And I wasn’t questioning the operation what I’m peed off about is that everyone else can manage to get appointments out of work time as our contract states, but she can’t. I had my smear and it really wasn’t hard to ask for it after 3pm (to give me time to get home
For a quick shower). Certainly not jealous, and as stated fully support some of the time off, but feel that the making app in works time that aren’t emergencies is taking the mick. Ladies I work with miss sports days and assemblies of their little ones. You get a job in a school and you understand that because you have 13 weeks off a year and it’s not 9-5 you work round that.

There is nothing wrong with most people who go for a mammogram or a smear test, should we all not bother then? You cannot just request X-rays , blood tests and minor operations for the hell of it.

And you have no idea what needs she may have and or what arrangements she has come to with work. You would do well do stop sticking your nose into other peoples business.
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Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 24/06/2021 20:05

Why wouldn't she keep doing it if her manager is fine with it? Your rage is misdirected.

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Use627 · 24/06/2021 20:05

Ming your own business and break the rules as well if you want to?? People like you are the worst in a work place 😬

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Knackeredneon · 24/06/2021 20:09

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Iamthequeen82 · 24/06/2021 20:13

I’m the worst in the work place? Really?
And I wouldn’t take her aside, I feel management should be having a word is what I meant, I just feel it’s unfair on others that have missed their kids leavers assemblies, rearranged doctors appointments, gone for smears, blood tests and X-rays out of works time. Why should everyone else make arrangements that don’t interfere with work, but she does and gets away with it and almost boasts about it to everyone.
It’s in our contracts unless it’s an emergency you must book it outside of work ours. Monday morning was awful, everyone had to work harder on the hardest day of the week to cover for her absence when she could of gone later in the day…..as I did

OP posts:
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Iamthequeen82 · 24/06/2021 20:14

Also to add, this lady has a little book, in it she writes down when people have been off sick, etc etc…..I couldn’t care less but Monday really got to me how she txt and then waltzed in over 2hrs late and was all smug

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Brefugee · 24/06/2021 20:16

Just keep your beak out of other people's health business.

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Theworldisquiethere · 24/06/2021 20:18

Where I am it’s so hard to get an appointment for anything that you just have to accept what you’re offered, if you’re fussy about times then you end up waiting months for an appointment

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Babyroobs · 24/06/2021 20:18

Op I think every workplace has one of these people.

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YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer · 24/06/2021 20:18

I'd be more upset for the person who was not allowed to go to a funeral. That seems awfully harsh. (unless that person is you and thats why you are so bitter)

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Freckers · 24/06/2021 20:21

@Iamthequeen82

I’m the worst in the work place? Really?
And I wouldn’t take her aside, I feel management should be having a word is what I meant, I just feel it’s unfair on others that have missed their kids leavers assemblies, rearranged doctors appointments, gone for smears, blood tests and X-rays out of works time. Why should everyone else make arrangements that don’t interfere with work, but she does and gets away with it and almost boasts about it to everyone.
It’s in our contracts unless it’s an emergency you must book it outside of work ours. Monday morning was awful, everyone had to work harder on the hardest day of the week to cover for her absence when she could of gone later in the day…..as I did

I feel your pain but it's either the management being weak and letting you down or her situation is more complicated than is being let on.
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YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer · 24/06/2021 20:21

@Iamthequeen82

Also to add, this lady has a little book, in it she writes down when people have been off sick, etc etc…..I couldn’t care less but Monday really got to me how she txt and then waltzed in over 2hrs late and was all smug

She may have a little book, but you are also keeping track of all the times she is out so what is the difference?
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converseandjeans · 24/06/2021 20:22

I'm with you OP. It does affect you as I guess if she's not in colleagues have to cover her workload. She's taking the piss. It's not hard to get an appointment after 2pm.

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19lottie82 · 24/06/2021 20:23

You still hold a grudge that she had time off a few YEARS ago? And time off after an operation, and when her dad died? Wow, you need a hobby. Totally none of your business.

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MrsMiddleMother · 24/06/2021 20:27

Yanbu there's people like this in every place of work, the one who gets to do as they please. If it was me I'd try and get my appointments in work time and they if they say no be petty and tell me they can't play favourites.

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